Friday, 21 October 2011

Pie Night, Stephen Hawking and Jason and the Argos - nauts

It is PIE NIGHT tonight and we can finally celebrate the exchange of contracts for the house we wish to buy or as is now the case bought. For those who are not part of the British system this exchange now means everyone is committed to the deal. Mum and dad say that they can relax and enjoy their pies now or until tomorrow when we look at all the stuff in the house and go YICKS.

The dog, Heavy Harry the Cat and Sooty the Cat who have been dealing with all the stress of the unknown by eating more food, are also celebrating tonight, by eating more food. The dog says it’s not their fault they are decadent western pets (not as in cowboys films) who like their treats they have been programmed over generations to live off cake and caviar or in the dogs case frozen legs of lamb, cake and caviar. To tell the truth the dog will eat anything really that he can raid from the supermarket or the butcher or even Argos, although he only raids Argos to wind up the manager Jason and the staff, who he refers to as Jason and the Argos- nauts. He has taken to running off with skateboards and Greek urns. And insists on shouting at them what’s a Greek Urn ……………… nothing due to excessive capital debt as a result of  borrowing to much money in the good old days. But as this is Argos, the staff just get confused and Jason rearranges the two for one high quality golden flee (sorry Flea) spay display until the dog gets bored and wanders off.

I find it odd that we have been putting stuff in boxes for weeks and the house is still full of stuff but people say it’s our own fault for being collector maniacs and filling up everywhere with stuff. Personally I think we need stuff; stuff is the fabric of the universe without stuff there would be nothing resulting in no universe and therefore no time and if there is no time them we won’t be able to get all the stuff in the boxes. The result is then a universal paradox with everything (as in everything in the entire universe) flipping between existing and not existing, None of us like that (during the period when we exist). Apparently that  Stephen Hawking bloke has just phoned up and told mum that I am an IDIOT, I think not I told everyone stuff could go faster than light ages ago.

Anyway I must go I have a pie that will become nothing in a short while YUM. 

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