Harrison Horsechestnut Hutt . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers

Harrison Horsechestnut Hutt

Mr Hutt was a down to earth gritty northerner from a mining family that made good allowing Harrison Horsechestnut Hutt to go to university and get his degree in engineering. He was determined to do his bit and make the plight of the miner safer and a far better environment to work in. However the mine owners were difficult to deal with and would tut and shake their heads when anyone mentioned improving the mine environment as they just saw this as extra expense.  Even the miners where a sceptical bunch of workers who believed everyone was out to get them (generally true), and that anything mechanical or that had gears and moving bits was the work of the devil.

Eventually Mr Hutt managed to convince Mr Haggy Hatcher to use his invention the Hutt Hydraulic Hammer and even obtained a verbal agreement that no miners would lose their jobs. However after the incredible work of the Hutt Hydraulic Hammer, Mr Haggy Hatcher sacked almost his entire workforce much to the shock of  Harrison Horsechestnut Hutt who suddenly realized you cant trust mine owners. 

He decided that he needed to address the miners in person and do what he could to help as many were left destitute and starving. And after a brilliant speech and asking the miners for forgiveness at his naivety of trusting the notorious (he only discovered this too late) Mr Haggy Hatcher. The miners cheered and then threw him down the mine shaft, they did say it was nothing personal but were keen to stop any other inventors coming up with stuff that might ruin the plight of the working man.

To this day there is a rumour that Harrison Horsechestnut Hutt survived the fall as the mine lift had just started its decent and he did not fall that far.  But the miner (a Mr Skippy) who told of this then said that a strange green man with a battered and ripped shirt and mad hair carrying a Danister Detector led  Harrison Horsechestnut Hutt off deeper into the mine. So the story was dismissed as the ramblings of the working class. 

Dr Bruce Banner . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers

Dr Bruce Banner 

Dr Bruce Banner was a noted explorer and a keen caver. And when he discovered the vast array of caves on (or under) Greenland decided that he would not only attempt to map the complex of caves but to go deeper underground than anyone had ever been before. In order to avoid the toxic gasses that originate from the many volcanoes, Dr Bruce Banner invented a sophisticated gas detection device which he simply called the Dr Banner Detector.  A simple hand held device that had a bulb which would flash with greater intensity as the gases increased in density.

The problem was, that Dr Bruce Banner had a terrible temper and would emerge from the caves covered in sulphur making him a yellowy green, his clothing ripped and his hair a wild mess, screaming and shouting at his assistants. Then on his attempt to go deeper than anyone else had before, one of the teams Banner Detectors failed and the team decided to return to the surface. However Dr Banner refused to go back and had a huge argument with the support team. When they were asked afterwards why Dr Bruce Banner carried on they said he had a terrible temper and refused to accept defeat and got into an incredible sulk when we said it was unsafe to continue. So he just headed into the depths on his own never to be seen again.

Only a handful of the Banner Detectors were ever made and the last one is in the Icelandic Museum of Mummified Whalers and Fishermen where they also have one of Dr Bruce Banner’s ripped and tattered shirts on display. 

Perpetual Motion Machines and Naked Charity Calendars analyzed . . .(PART 3)

As I stated yesterday, clearly the only form of Perpetual Motion Machine that is going to work is a Nano Sub Atomic Particle Perpetual Motion Machine, but it is never going to be any good on a nude charity calendar of Scientists and Perpetual Motion machines so ironically science is left with the only thing it can do and use those classic old Victorian Machines which although failing to perform as Perpetual Motion Machines do have a classic beauty that the working machine would lack. And they are just large enough to keep some modesty.  

However a terrible dilemma indeed for Science, as in order to produce the perfect calendar it is necessary to use a device that any scientist who knows their stuff would know does not work.  In particular the Newtonian Speak Your Weight Perpetual Motion Machine as demonstrated by our substitute nude Scientist, Miss Traction Engine 2014 winner of the Cleethorpes Spring Steam fair. . . . Scientists are never going to appear nude with a novelty machine like that.

As someone once said in a film about Science . . . . Beauty Killed the Beast . . . . . It appears Miss Traction Engine 2014 objected to the Newtonian Speak Your Weight Perpetual Motion Machine shouting out 15 stone 10 pounds. And I think I have now said more than enough on the subject and will now move on to new and as yet unknown questions of our time.  DAMN I need a new Question. . .

Ooooo I may have finally sorted a very troublesome computer, they can be stubborn things. I have noted my new idea looking at the great questions of our time is going down like a lead balloon with the punters, but I am not yet deterred, I just need a few popular issues to discuss. . . .I’m not good at popular, you should see me at parties.

Perpetual Motion Machines and Naked Charity Calendars analyzed . . .(PART 2) and introducing Professor Brian Cox

After craftily skimming over all the issues involved in creating the ultimate nude charity calendar of Scientists and Perpetual Motion machines I think it is time to deal with the whole subject in more detail, fundamentally getting to the Bottom (no pun intended) of things.   Interestingly there are two very difficult issues to deal with in creating this particular nude charity calendar that need to be discussed. Firstly the Perpetual Motion Machine is a tricky device to create many have tried and failed, and secondly Scientists generally don’t appear on calendars naked.

Starting with basic principles we all know that a perpetual Motion Machine is a closed loop device and in order to work 100% of the energy in the loop has to stay in the loop. In the old days when man made rather nice Victorian looking machines (The so called Victorian Era) many a chap would construct things that had gears and weights that moved about in a grand fancy looking loop. Simply put they all worked on the same idea. . . .The thing being pushed or pulled was pushed or pulled by the thing pushing or pulling it . . . . (Remember for later)  Simple yes but flawed because of the unseen losses in the loop none of the devices were true closed loop systems. They all were subject to the laws of physics and so gravity results in friction, heat loss, energy lost to the outside environment in small but significant ways, resulting in a less than 100% energy transfer around the loop and failure.

So I can here you type if you are such a smart arse what is the solution to these issues that have left the world of science and even that Professor Brian Cox floundering about scratching their heads and saying . . . . . It’s the engines Captain they’ll nay take it. . . . . Hang on that’s not right.  Well the solution is simple yet extremely difficult and very small. Yes there is only one way to beat the world of the basic laws of Physics and that is to use Quantum Mechanics and make a Sub Atomic Particle Perpetual Motion Machine.  It sounds tricky you would need better eyesight than I have but once you get that small stuff changes and gets weird really weird. Particles can be made to be in two different places at the same time. Remember what I wrote earlier . . . . The thing being pushed or pulled was pushed or pulled by the thing pushing or pulling it . . . . Well with a Sub Atomic Particle Perpetual Motion Machine it changes to . . . . . .  The thing being pushed or pulled is pushed or pulled by two things that were pushed or pulled by it. . . . . . In other words it has a boast of energy in the loop in order to keep it going for eternity or in other words Perpetual Motion or Perpetual Energy. It is why atoms never stop moving and stuff like that.

            

OK tomorrow we can integrate this into the bigger picture for June on the ultimate nude charity calendar of Scientists and Perpetual Motion Machines, and then I will be available for a Nobel Prize round about Christmas. That’s if some Scientist does not nick my idea first, mentioning no names Mr Professor Brian Cox. . . . .  or Mr October as he is know.

The Quirkiness of the Long Distance Blogger

As a long term slightly quirky blogging diarist, I have to give myself little goals to achieve. Not goals like in the world cup where you have to kick a small round thing into a sort of fruit cage affair.

One of the primary objectives of any blogger is does anyone actually look at your blog, are they friendly, will they send you large sums of money, will the very nice Steven Spielberg make your very very long diary into a block buster film or films, (it is very long).  If the answer to all these is no then you have to find odd little glimmers of hope from other things.

I therefore have achieved something this month that is very positive indeed, this month has seen the best month ever for Page Views with close to seven and a half thousand as we approach the end of June. Now I have no way of knowing if that is good or not and I am aware that certain things can distort those figures, so I do not use those dynamic view design options they add thousands of page views that don’t exist, I learnt that very early on. I also do not count my own views of my blog or that would just get confusing and I do not allow anonymous commenting that just attracts automated web crawlers and they are well annoying beasts.

I suspect folk are going to say . . .  is that all HEY I get that a day . . .  but I just don’t know what is good or bad in the world of blogging, it is full of smoke and mirrors and a lot of hype so I just keep to my own goals.  Strangely if there is one thing the football teams in the world cup hate it is own goals, but as a blogger it is what keeps me striving to bigger and better things, well that and the dream that the very nice Steven Spielberg will stop burning the manuscript to the film of the diary of the book of the blog

The world of blogging is a fickle world but there are some good folk out there, Mr ESB, Miss Laura, Mr Addman, Mr H, Miss Lily and Master Meglos, Miss Hannah,  Mr Flip, Mr B, P Von P, Mr G to name but a few. And so you may ask yourself why do we do this, what drives us in our guest for fame fortune and celebrity without moving from the comfort of our armchairs. The answer is simple we are all IDIOTS……….

I is for Interesting Instructions of an Irregular type.

It appears that when someone leaves you a little note to remind you to do a particular task it is not a good idea to amuse yourself by modifying the instruction in case you forget that you modified it when you read it the following day. Let’s face it the very reason the note was left in the first place was because I tend to forget things.

So after waking up and waving my hair about in the shower and staggering about saying who am I, what day is it, where is my brain . . . . AH the Zombies have nicked my brain . . . . Eating some breakfast and then groaning loads in order to prove I am a Zombie. I noticed a note left for me to tell me what my task is today. So having read the task I decide I should do them in the order they have been written down. 

Instruction One: - Strim Cows

 WHAT? . . . . . . I don’t know what that is about but if I am left a note then I have always found it is best just to do what I are told, there was a time I would get distracted and go off and do other things and so the important jobs would get left.  But no longer I am a lean mean efficient fighting machine (sort of).  I am not sure if any of you have ever tried to strim a cow with a strimmer it is far from easy, in fact it is extremely hard. First off you need to get the flock (sorry herd) penned into the corner of a field and then fire up the strimmer and then charge at them in a random way to confuse them. If you are lucky you might get to strim the side of the odd cow as it stampedes past you, I will tell you right now cows do not like strimmers one bit.  Cows can shift I have always thought of cows as slow happy docile beasts with a happy go lucky attitude to life, oblivious of the fact they will be turned into dinner for the masses at some point.  Yes OK they did start making tunnels a long time ago, but that was the past, those cows have long since been char grilled and covered in sauce.

Cows it turns out (to get back to the point) can move rather quickly and it also appears that if annoyed enough say by a young enthusiastic chap with a strimmer can be a little aggressive. Well when I say little I really mean big; cows are big, very big.

So after a short time of chasing cows with a strimmer I found myself pursued by angered cows intent on revenge. This quickly led to a decision to abandon Instruction One and concentrate on Instruction two.

Instruction Two :- Pick Parsley

Well this was a piece of cake and done in a flash. It was only afterwards when I was asked Have you Strimmed the Cow Parsley at the top of the drive that I remembered I had slightly modified the note left for me . . . . . . . . Strim Cow Parsley . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN

The good news, I now have, but the bad news is I don’t think the cows like me anymore. I have told them I don’t eat cows, but that has only lead to rumours and now the farmer does not like me either.      

Slugs, Explosions and a rather useful tip for the A to Z Challenge

As most of you know I am a pupil at the local Academy and due to an administrator’s error also a teacher. Now it has been rather a long time since I have told all of you of events with Freddie and his ferrets or Esmeralda or the school mascot, the School Goat, and with good reason. You see this is not the sort of school frequented by the likes of Harry Potter, it is not a school for wizards although Jimmy’s dad is apparently a wizard at accounts or so the high court judge told him. Jimmy is very proud, he said accounting gets a bad name and it is time someone recognized the skills involved. 

This however is all a distraction what I am saying is our school is a normal school we don’t have three headed dogs or huge blundering giants and the like wandering about; or explosions  . . . . . . . . OK yes we do have explosions but we are young keen and have access to the internet so science needs to be exciting and Maths, it is a little known fact but Maths is a key lesson in the making of explosions as it allows students to use a grappling hook to pinch some weed killer from the caretakers shed below the classroom.

Sorry distracted again . . . . . . Many of you will know that my main subject as a teacher is Zombie Defence Classes but as we approach spring it is a difficult subject to teach as the minds of Zombies turn to love, yes it is apparently the breeding season. As the young innocent slightly eccentric child of cyberspace I have no plans to teach the breeding habits of Zombies to anyone so I thought I KNOW I will do what they do in other schools use Frogs. I was sadly unable to find any Frogs so I have substituted Frogs for Slugs. And with the help of Freddie and Esmeralda managed to fill a huge tank with over 10,000 slugs . . Well it appears the lid of the tank was a little insecure and the slugs are breeding in the school at a rather alarming rate. The good news the breeding cycle of the Zombie and slug is plain for everyone to see; The bad news is I had to stay in after school and clean all the slime . . . . . . . . . .YUCK . . . . . . .

The up side to all this is I feel the very nice Steven Spielberg will be far more amenable to a film full of breeding Slugs and Zombies than one full of annoying British Wizards who just grow up and whinge a lot and anyway that has been well and truly done to death now.  

I will end this diary entry on the blog with a poem as a useful hint of how to do the A to Z when you can’t think of a single word for certain letters. . . . .

A

Arrim, aroo, addus, aboo.

And filly the aardvark in the arcline agoo

While aplit and acca are appy abzeeeee

And fettle the arra

And smile at the Zombie

B

Barrim baroo baddus baboo

And filly the aardvark in the barcline bagoo

While baplit and bacca are bappy babzeeeeee

And fettle the barra

And smile at the Zombie

C

So clever

So clever

So clever are weeeeeeeee

But you can’t claim you’re an Aardvark

To a hungry Zombieeeeeeee

It will eat you and ruin a good poem

THE END

HAH HA HAH AH HAH AH HAH AH H AH H H HA HAH Ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

the Random Apple Tower experiment, the Universe and no Hamsters

As you all know I am a part-time student teacher and one of my specialist subjects is OIT Obscure Irrational Theories mainly the big ones relating to the universe, not small ones devoted to why hamsters run in small wheels. . . . . . AH as it happens that is one of the big ones but not today’s story, although the more science minded of you will see the link straight away.

Anyway today’s lesson was my first practical on OIT and I was trying to explain why galaxies spiral, much like water spirals down the plug hole. You see a spinning galaxy is in fact a huge gyroscope, and like a gyroscope, if you put it on top of a pointy stick at right angles rather than fall off the pointy stick the gravitational forces are moved to the pivot point and the gyroscope will start to rotate round the pivot. (OK I know some of you are saying WHAT?)  As you may guess some of my students got a bit confused, so I used the Random Apple Tower experiment to show them what was happening.  OK yes I know some of you have never done the Random Apple Tower Experiment (The RAT Experiment) have you (education these days it’s terrible… Hang on I’m a student teacher)

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Anyway what you need is a selection of random apples from an apple tree; say anything from ten to about fifty and you have to make a tower. It is a well known fact that after a maximum of five apples the tower will fall over, the interesting point is no matter which apples or which combination you choose the tower will never get higher than five apples. Well if you cheat by using super glue or small skewers or use modern GM apples then it will but in nature the universe is the universe and cheating is not an option.  After many hours the class tried and failed to improve on a tower of five apples until Esmeralda got bored and turned the whole lot into toffee apples and the class ate the universe.

However it proved the point I needed to make about why galaxies spiral although I must admit some of the class still looked a little perplexed, so I told them to try the experiment at home and get their parents to explain it.   

The inverted molecular antimatter generator and Isaac Newton's great error about gravity

Today dad has been working on a new steam powered electro-mechanical device; it’s an inverted molecular antimatter generator using fundamental matter-antimatter symmetry to create the inverted antimatter being of ourselves within a world that is equal and opposite to the one we exist in. I can here some of you saying WHAT? And who can blame you it is what I said when I was told I was going to be given the privilege of testing the prototype out. Not that I don’t trust dads mad machines but I did notice his first attempt at transporting an apple into its antimatter state ended in a  small pile of ash. So it was decided that the only fair and safe way to conduct this experiment was to use one of the cats. As Heavy Harry the Cat is large and rather aggressive with long claws Sooty the Cat was volunteered because he is soft and stupid, the ideal properties for such an important experiment never undertaken before.

The experiment was not entirely successful because as the force field between the two opposite and opposing worlds started to come into view, Sooty the cat was unable to cross the barrier because there was a cat on the other side blocking his route across the barrier and when we tried to shoo the cat on the other side away someone on the other side of the barrier did the same to Sooty the Cat. Then Sooty the Cat lost interest and ran off at exactly the same time as the cat on the other side of the barrier did, it was very annoying if only Sooty had stayed put a few more seconds. Dad did try throwing another apple at the barrier in frustration but it turned to ash.  

The dog is now convinced that the violent reaction that the apples are experiencing may indicate that apples are not entirely fixed in our own time space dimension and that it may be best not to eat them. DAMN I have spent three days pruning all the apple trees so that we get loads of them next year that is a bit of a blow. Apparently the dog says that if apples are not in the same time space dimension as us then poor old Isaac Newton made a terrible error when he sat under that apple tree; and he is super gluing his kennel to the ground as I type. I don’t know why he is doing that, he never uses it except to store bones and old books on Latin. Mum has said the dog is an IDIOT…….. PHEW it’s not me this time ………… AH …… apparently I am too.  

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the pharmaceutical industry might be suffering some Unusual Excitement

Although not entirely back to normal my hand is getting better….. PHEW ……. So I no longer look like The Curse of the Claw, however I have been taking some tablets to help. In the old days when someone gave you tablets to take they would be in a small brown glass screw top jar with something like ‘Take three times a day’ written on the label and that would be that. No these days, they tend to come in boxes and so called blister packaging and acres of it too. But also inside these boxes will be a piece of paper in tiny print warning of the potential dangers of the pill you are about to take.  In general it appears that even the simple placebo has paperwork in small print that says the pill will kill you, either from a stroke or heart attack or some other option. However the pills (which are bright orange) also have listed on this piece of paper ‘Unusual Excitement’ …….WHAT? Are they mad, so I thought I must photograph this as prove it is not me that is MAD but the pharmaceutical industry.

So today I have been waiting for some Unusual Excitement to happen. I went to Montgomery thinking there might be something Unusually Exciting there but there was not, although I did talk to a man with a huge oak beam that he was using to repair a steam powered pterodactyl that had crash landed in his garden. And I saw several people who said “O MY GOD LOOK AT YOUR HAND, is it PLAGUE………….. .  … . . . … . . .  . . . . . . . . . . .AUUUuuuuuuuuuuuGgggggHHHHHHHHHHH. Then I left Montgomery and returned home and watched tractors going backwards and forwards and doing synchronized harvesting of Hay….. I suspect they must have read the ‘Fifty Grades of Hay’ book and were showing off a bit…. But it was not unusually exciting, not even a bit. Then Mr Jones said he might get some of the same tablets because it might help with his Alien Spotting in the woods. He said being abducted and examined by aliens can be unusually exciting and anything that will help is worth trying….. I did tell him that being wrapped in cling film and wearing a big red wig was more likely to scare aliens that attract them, but he explained that was just a mistake and he had forgotten to change before he left home….?

The dog says my hand is looking better and no longer looks like a rat that has swallowed a party balloon, but just a fat rat that has been over indulging at a party….. He also added that he had been having a rather unusually exciting day before falling about in hysterics….. Mum said IDIOT but I think she means the dog. 

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The Builder the Cat and the Watkins Rapier

Here I am sat in a car with the laptop, I am not a fan of using the laptop for my diary because it does not sort stuff out in the same way as the old XP desktop which happily will correct the worst of my spelling regardless of which program or application I am using. So I can mess about in cyberspace and everyone still understands me (almost).

Anyway as I said I am in a car waiting and typing as I type, we have nipped off to Shrewsbury hospital, something we do from time to time although not a story for the diary.

It was rather strange getting here as back home it was sunny if a little overcast, but not a bad day all in all, then about half a mile down the road the weather was rubbish and was like that almost the entire trip then the last half a mile was OK again. I am getting irritated at present by builders with a loud radio listing to rubbish. Why do they do that…

My Watkins Rapier 44 and a cheapo Encore Les Paul copy

OK that was all some time ago as I am now back home away from the tinny thud thud thud of noise pollution. I know what you are thinking, I am a young hip slightly eccentric chap who should be dead keen on the thud thud thud of music, particularly as I play djembe and a rather cool left handed Red Watkins Rapier 44 guitar. And I do like music but not in a car park when it is being played on a cheap radio on a half built roof with a man joining in with the nail gun but out of time and singing like a cat that has just been nail gunned to a roof.

I have started making a log shed out of wood, it seems odd to make a log shed out of the material that will go in it so that we can take the wood out of it to burn on the log fire in the winter, and summer sometimes, but I will not talk about the weather …….Ah I already have DAM.

OK that is it for tonight because …….. Well, I can’t be bothered…….. No only kidding HAH HAHAH HAH HHA HAH HAH hah ah ha hahahah hah hah hah hahahah hhah hahhah hah ha.

No sorry I’m only kidding that I’m kidding it’s a double bluff so I’m off

No I’m not tricked you

OK there are some pics for a man from Chicago of the wiring inside a Watkins Rapier 44. It looks a bit wild but it works and it might be a bit frail to mess with.  

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conclusive proof of aliens and Alien Nano-Spacecraft

Last night in the dark as I was watching the last of the light from the sun at about half past eleven I could hear rustling in the undergrowth. But of course it was dark, when I say last of the light it was merely the hint of a red-blue glow so you could not see much. I therefore came up with a master plan I would point the camera in the direction of the noise and use the flash to capture an image of the rustling beast. Now if you are reading the highly successful book (The diary of Rob Z Tobor Year two) it is likely you will not have a picture to look at now, particularly if you have gone for the cheaper paperback option. The rest of us are OK we have the picture to look at.

Interestingly I have been out again tonight to see if I can see these spheres again but nothing, 

I tried several times but nothing

So there you go conclusive proof of aliens, Mr Jones says those spheres are in fact nano-spacecraft from the mother spacecraft which is in a geostationary position above his house and were watching us in the dark. Well OK they were watching me in the dark last night, well me and the dog and Sooty the Cat. Mr Jones says we should be very cautious as government bodies and departments of a secret nature will be after this image and will need to wipe the memory from my brain.

I think in short Mr Jones is saying the men in dark designer sunglasses will be back on our trail again and I really should not post this image in cyberspace. I think after the last time I have little to fear and as we know dark designer sun glasses in a British summer are rubbish, you cant see a thing because it is too gloomy and dark.

The dog says that Mr Jones is talking total rubbish and the picture is in fact the so called famous Fairies at the bottom of the garden, all this talk of Alien Nano-Spacecraft is just far fetched madness.

I even took the image to school to show the science teacher who said in his opinion this was the work of an intelligent tribe of pixies who had made nano-spybots and were probably testing them on an unsuspecting IDIOT and the rustling was the fact they had not yet got the hang of the controls yet; resulting in them bumping into shrubs and the like in the dark. He then said I should be on the lookout for pixies trying to get their image back and they might try to wipe my mind, although he did add he thought there was little point in doing that really?

Mum says we are all IDIOTS

Tonights youtube song is brought to you thanks to  hootchinhannah's last blog post ............ A new band for me.

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method learning, Hazel and the the Spanish Inquisition,

So the year slowly passes and school is getting into that time of year when everyone is panicking about exams, I never panic about exams because I studiously revise and remember everything. No, that’s not quite true, the dog studiously revises and I use mums spy communicating devices to communicate with the dog who tells me all the answers, this is called method learning or as the headmaster likes to call it cheating…. It is not entirely cheating because the dog does do some swotting for the exams.

Anyway school is getting quieter and so I will expand on my next little project to make a huge canopy that a large number of people can sit under and party. Ideally I would love to build this in bamboo but you just can’t get decent bamboo in the UK, not the thirty foot long and four inch in diameter stuff. It has always puzzled me why that will not grow over here because most of the other bamboo types seem too.

Luckily we have something that sort of works. although not as well, and that is hazel, no not hazel from school because she is structurally unsound. By that I mean she will move about so trying to make a building out of her is near on impossible. We are talking Hazel as in the shrub tree thing, it is a classic old world building material and going back a few thousand years the Brits would make houses out of hazel covered in a mix of mud, dung and straw. I have no plans to do that I will use canvas. It will then be lit with a million fairy lights and some seating. There was a time I would make seating, but I have been banned now after the last garden bench which mum and dad said reminded them of the Spanish Inquisition. It was made out of hazel which is interesting because Hazel at school is doing a project on the Spanish Inquisition, nobody expected her project to be the  Spanish Inquisition there was certainly an element of surprise involved……….. Hang on that has a familiar sort of ring to it

OK I’m away

Ooooooooo I should just say what a lovely warm sunny day today so please note BBC weatherman NO NOT RAIN, 

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looking at the ISS with a goat in a wet suit breathing oxygen on the top of a pylon.

I have abandoned looking at the International Space Station tonight. That sounds like I plan to have a little tour round it which would be cool but no I merely refer to its fly over, no not the road type fly over but the ISS flying over head. And by that I don’t mean it was planning to follow my head about although there is no reason why it could not do that?

Anyway all I am saying it that it is very overcast AGAIN and so the chance of seeing it is remote. I think tonight is the last night it passes us for a while too. Which is just as well as Esmeralda was planning to catapult a goat at it

She is not being cruel by the way she has fitted it up with an oxygen bottle borrowed from her Granny and a wet suit to protect it from the UV radiation.  

I have just looked outside to be sure and believe it or not there was a small break in the cloud and we did see a satellite. But before anyone could inform Esmeralda that it was not the ISS, just one of mums Russian spy satellites there was a huge ping sound and the goat was on its way to space.

Well of course it was never going to get there was it, Esmeralda’s maths are rubbish and it is now safely back on the ground, well it is on the top of a large pylon at present. Why is it when you phone the emergency services to get the fire brigade to come and rescue a goat in a wet suit breathing oxygen, from the top of a pylon, you get shouted at. They say I am wasting the time of the emergency services with stupid calls NOT FAIR if I said the cat was stuck up a tree they would come and save it, and the goat needs them more than the cat does. As it happens the cat is up a tree, he was freighted by a goat in a wet suit shouting Geronimooooooooooooooo oooooooo ooooooooo AuuuuuUGHHHHHHhhhhhhhh.

Interestingly at school today the History teacher asked us what can we learn from history and I told him if your name is say King Harold you should not go out looking up at the sky for the International Space Station it will only lead to trouble………… The History teacher said IDIOT.  

We have started an ECO warrior experiment today involving chilli seed. If you buy a packet of chilli seed it will cost £2:85p, well it did round here and you get 6 seeds in it. That is nearly 50p a chilli seed O MY GOD that’s weight for weight more that the price of gold. So we have also put the seeds from half a fresh chilli from the shop (much cheaper) in a similar pot in the same compost and we will see which one grows the best. We got 15 seeds from half the chilli too.

I was convinced this morning today was Saturday?

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