The Queen, Scottish Devolution, Scotland, England and Royal Babies

It appears that here in Britain we are going to get another royal, only as yet we don't know exactly when and what sex it will be, and what they will be called, and which bit of Britain they will be given so they can say they are the Duke/Duchess of Hull or the like. I suspect it will not be a bit of Scotland though.  Which is a small point I have not heard a single person mention yet in respect to Scottish Devolution. Will the Queen (no the Queen is not called Will) still be the Queen of Scotland if they take the leap of faith and leap. I rather hope they do as a Scot, but us Scots have a habit of leaping into big muddy holes where folk jab at us with pointy sticks.

The Queen rather likes Scotland and she may even decide to abdicate from England and Wales and become Mary Queen of Scots, sorry I mean Elizabeth Queen of Scots. She is also rumoured to be a bit religiously inclined towards Catholicism and this would allow her to convert.

England would then have King Charles (Oooo go on vote yes Scotland) and as a Protestant and a bit outspoken he would probably attack his mum lock her in the tower and then have her sort of executed much like the original Mary Queen of Scots was by Elizabeth the First. . . . The world is full of such ironic twists. Scotland of course would shout and wave pointy sticks and head south raiding the north of England and steal all their fish and chips and Newcastle Brown and have a grand party. But get defeated the following day by the English before the Scots get a chance to recover their wits.

The whole affair finally getting sorted by the Director of Planning at the Cumbrian County Council a Mr Hadrian who builds a big wall.     

I have cleaned a lot of windows today but only on the one side, the Scottish side . . . that’s the outside because that’s the wettest side . . . HAH HAH AH Ah ah ha hah ah ha hah ah ha ha ha ha hah ah ha ha ha hah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hhah ah ah haha hah ha.

And the English on the inside have nicked all the cosy chairs,  but luckily the oil tank is on the outside so AH HAH AH AH hah ah ah ha ha hah ha hah ah ha hah aha h aha ha YA SUCKS BO.

AH DAMN mum says I'm an IDIOT.  

The Royal Baby, The Alien, The Red Kite and Wasps

The Red Kite with the funny call has been circling round the house today, I don’t think I have mentioned it before but it is often about and has a really loud call, and for reasons best known to itself had decided the best bit of sky was directly overhead today.

We also have a wasps nest in a hedge as I mentioned the other day when I accidently hedge trimmed the nest a bit much to the annoyance of the wasps. I did try and get rid of them with some foam stuff, but it has not worked so today, and as they often say on TV when they do something that is not a good idea  . . . .  I do not recommend you do this at home . . . . . I turned the hose pipe on the wasps nest to sort of move them on a bit as wasps are not fans of water or people who spray them with hose pipes. This was a controlled experiment because I did know what I was doing, which was confusing a whole load of wasps while everyone else remained indoors wearing bee keeping equipment and shaking their heads muttering IDIOT. Now just in case anyone is thinking poor old wasps I don’t mind them a bit further away from the house, but at present we have two wasps’ nests in the roof and the one in the hedge next to the back patio and that is a lot of wasps.

I also made the mistake of turning on the BBC news and as far as I can tell there is no news whatsoever except a small baby has left a hospital, surely that is not news, it is what babies do after a bit they go home to a huge palace and become king. However Mr Jones says that he was sketching the baby as it left and from his sketch he is convinced that it might be an alien who from the advantage point of being the king of the world will be able to summon his alien battle fleet and eat everyone. Sadly Mr Jones efforts to tell the royals of his thoughts have not gone down well, nor has his drawing which one BBC royal correspondent called an abomination, apparently it does not have webbed feet (the baby, the alien does).  Still as Mr Jones said they did have its feet well covered up when it left the hospital and one reason for this could be webbed feet….

He has a point we need to see its feet…………

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