A rather familiar tale of three Fantastic Beasts and where to find them, a Knight and no Wolf or Fox whatsoever

This is a story of three Fantastic Beasts and where to find them, but it is also a very familiar tale from the world of fairy tales about making the correct choice when you are considering a self build home.

Once upon a time there were three Dragons, an English Dragon, a Scottish Dragon and a Welsh Dragon.  Each of the three dragons made themselves a home from the materials around them. The first dragon (the English Dragon) made a rather nice house in the Home Counties out of straw bails with a nice thatched roof and everyone said how very eco. 

The second dragon (The Scottish Dragon) made his house out of logs from the pine forests of Scotland with wooden shingle tiles which was a rather grand affair to look at and everyone said OOOOOoooooo we do like a nice log cabin in the forest.

The third and smallest dragon (the Welsh Dragon) was called Blodwyn and lived in a cave near  Llantisilly for reasons only known to a small group of railway enthusiasts. Folk would look in the cave and go AH it’s a cave made of rock . . . Its mmmm very nice and cave like. . .

Well all was fine until one day the Big Bad Knight decided that he would go hunting for Dragons. The Big Bad Knight was called George and he set off from his castle in London to hunt for these Fantastic Beasts, but there were not many dragons left to hunt as folk tended to persecute them just because they breathed fire at folk.  . . . A bit.

Well the first dragon he came too was the English Dragon he shouted at the dragon you better come out or I’ll huff and puff and knock your house down. The English Dragon peered out of his window and saw George the Knight and laughed at him. Well when dragons laugh they tend to breath fire all over the place and before you could say OOooooo what big eyes you’ve got (George the Knight had very big eyes) The straw house had burnt to the ground. The English Dragon thought DAMN and headed off to Scotland to see his mate the Scottish Dragon.

A few days after the English Dragon had arrived at the home of the Scottish Dragon there was a loud knocking at the door, it was George the Big Bad Knight who shouted at the dragons you better come out or I’ll huff and puff and knock your house down. The two dragons looked at each other and burst into laughter and before you could say Oooooooo what big CHAIN-MAIL you have grandma MA the house had burnt to the ground.  The English and Scottish Dragons thought DAMN and headed off to Llantisilly in Wales to see Blodwyn the Welsh Dragon.

Well it was a bit of a shock having to live in a cave for the English and Scottish dragons, but before they could suggest building a nice house a voice could be heard outside the entrance to the cave. you better come out or I’ll huff and puff and knock your house down. Ah DAMN it’s a cave. . . . . . ok then i am coming in to get you. . .  Well George the Big Bad Knight marched into the cave holding his sword aloft, where he thought to himself damn its very dark in here so he shouted out to his man servant Has anyone got a light . . . .  Well that was a silly thing to say within hearing distance of three dragons because before you could say . . . Ooooo what big ears you’ve got (George the Knight had very big ears), the cave was full of flames and hotter that the tandoori oven in the local Llantisilly Indian Restaurant.

Well George ran off back to London where he told everyone he had killed all the dragons and everyone cheered, and sniggered about the size of his ears. The Three dragons live happily in Llantisilly (in a cave) watching the trains on the Merioneth and Llantisilly railway. Folk in Wales like dragons so no one chases them. And everyone lived happily ever after.

OOOOOoooo yes every now and again the Scottish dragon likes to go for a swim back in Scotland for old time’s sake in Loch Ness, but Blodwyn and the English dragon are not keen on water so stay in Wales.

THE END

Stolen thoughts and Dragonflies. Scottish Independence and haggis

In the last couple of days I have noticed something happening that is a worry. Firstly thanks to Master Meglos I discovered that Dr Who have been running off with some of my ideas to sneak into their storylines Well I don't mind but it appears they do not even give me a tiny bit of credit for my subtle sophisticated and intertwined storylines involving robots footballers and Knights with pointy sticks.

Then only yesterday I happen to mention that no one had said much about the Queen and the devolution process leading to Scottish Independence. Then before you can say Haggis and Chips and a wee can of Iron Bru out the chill cabinet, the BBC ten o'clock news has the Queen all over it saying that the Queen is remaining impartial and rumours of stockpiling deep fried Mars bars are merely rumours spread by the English aggressors lead by Prince Charles as he angles for power.

Then to add insult to injury it appears folk have started coming up with the jolly idea of taking pictures of SHELFIES . . .  Well that was my idea ages ago and I cut the bottom off my IKEA shelf unit to make a little face too. Not just take a picture of a shelf.

This is not the first time this stuff has happened and I have started to wonder if there is some cunning plan afoot to undermine my thought process and make me look like a charlatan. I know who is the Mr Big behind it all, the evil genius who has Charles and Quentin in GCHQ stealing all my posts and using them for his own plans. Its that nice Mr Steven Spielberg, he wants my thoughts to create the greatest film ever so that he can say it is all his own work and claim the accolade and glory and bright lights. His final and greatest achievement, leaving me floundering in a dark swamp of obscurity OK a dark muddy hole of Obscurity and I know about them I have already been in a lot.

And tonight I have had to run about saving Dragonflies from the cat. . .  I bet he will say his cat did it first too, but I got pictures so YA SUCKS BOOOOOOO

OOOOOoooo is that the time I was just getting comfy on your couch doctor . . . I will see you next week about the same time. . . . . .  

Professor FrankenZompire and Mr Voodoo Vam Banshee's Mechanical Emporium of Amazing Contraptions Ltd

The Ghost Writer has got his car back today and it is working hunky dory again so he is very pleased, however he says that he was not expecting it to be turned into a fire breathing dragon by the garage, even though they were very reasonable with their charges. They told him that the modifications to turn the car into a large undulating fire breathing dragon were free and all part of their comprehensive service package. The Ghost Writer says all he really wanted was his car back as the modified vehicle is very unpractical and he is blaming the person who recommended this particular garage because he personally  had never heard of it before.

AH DAMN; as it happens it was me who told him to go to Professor Frankenzompire and Mr Voodoo VaM Banshee’s Mechanical Emporium of amazing contraptions Limited, as they are very friendly and always willing to help. Yes they do have a bit of a reputation for getting a little over enthusiastic in their work, but that is a positive thing when your car is poorly and needs to be fixed.  I guess I should have warned him they are rather keen on dragons though.

Still it is a cool car (dragon), although the police have told the Ghost Writer that the flames emitting from the mouth of the dragon are not legal.

I did not do a lot today, ate, painted and poked about in ditches with a pointy stick and cooked  marshmallow on the breath of a dragon car……..