Monday, 24 October 2011

The Analogue Binary Computer and the Cat

Yes the Ghost Writer was in the grey office today and as always, he will insist and coming to see us and whinge about it. We don’t mind after all it is not a nice thing to do is it, work in a grey office. But the strange thing is this is what most people do these days; work in a grey office peering at a computer monitor. At least the Ghost Writer gets to pull all the computers apart and break them, sorry fix them.

When I was at school I had a look at my blog on the PC during our IT class where I write the duplicate of my diary and shock horror it looked just different enough to not be able to read the bit down the side. The Ghost Writer said only a few days, weeks or what ever it was that this can happen and he was right, we hate it when the Ghost Writer is right.  I had to change my blog from the new fancy paint job because Miss Lily was trying to spray graffiti on the side and it was sliding off.

The IT teacher is well into artificial intelligence and is working on a computer the size of a human brain with the computing ability of a human brain. He has this new idea called Analogue Binary which has an infinite value for one, (as in the number not the Queen) so that 01 can be anything up to ten thousand and 10 can then be up to ten thousand times ten thousand and 11 can be a value up to ten thousand times ten thousand times ten thousand and not just a puny three. Anyway enough of the clever bit for now  

The teacher was originally going to make a computer with the computing power of an Ants brain and also the same size as an Ants brain, but he dropped in on the floor and he thinks the cleaners sucked it up with the vacuum cleaner. As he said typical you don’t see a cleaner for months then when you loss something in the dust they suck it all up and throw it away. It is one of the reasons I never use a vacuum cleaner, best to be on the safe side …………. Mum just said IDIOT.

The IT teacher said if he can make thirty artificial human brains the size of a human brain he can fit then into Androids and then instead of teaching annoying children all day that are a pain in the backside he can teach them instead. I think it was at that point that the class felt he was not really on our side, so Esmeralda superglued his prototype brain to the school cats head. The cat then said For some reason I cant fathom I rather fancy some algebra in the maths class and reading a little hommer and then but it was at that point the cat spotted a mouse and in the ensuing chase the brain overheated and malfunctioned. It appears the cat is now hiding in a small hole under the floor eating cheese (Read Lester) with a family of mice shouting eeekkk Meeeeooooowww.

I know this might sound odd to some of you but I might have told you this story before. But as the Ghost Writer says life is circles within circles. 


  1. Well it's a good think that my graffitti did slide off, my comments were such, that they would would have led mum to call me much worse things then IDIOT.

    Also the cat with the super-glued prototype brain has just become my favourite character...sorry mum.

  2. Glad to see you back Miss Lily but it is late and I have many things to glue tomorrow for a preview (not cats although if Sooty the Cat keeps meowing he will be eating superglue) so I must away and sleep

    Dam it Anon again