A Pictorial Guide to the EU Referendum

The Sea represents Europe

The smoke represents the EU referendum debate

The Ship represents Great Britain

The Seagulls represent the voters

The iceberg represents the result

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DAMN

V is for Voting

Today is a very important day in the future of Britain and dependent on the vote of the great British public, who will elect members for the European Parliament, which bizarrely will not make a smidgen of a difference; No its entirely true . . . . . .  One of the particularly odd things about this vote is that many many folk will, or have rushed off to vote for UKIP or one of the many Anti-European Community based parties that are standing. However the one thing none of them will be able to do is take Britain out of the European Community that has to be done by the British Government.

They (the political media experts) also think that in a year’s time when we vote for a new British Government, that folk will not vote for the Anti-Europe parties like UKIP as they do not have particularly strong policies for the British economy. Trouble is the main parties are unlikely to take us out of Europe and the Anti-European  parties in the European Parliament will not be doing their best to help Britain within Europe and will get loads of money to shout YA SUCKS BOOO a lot. The best thing to do is vote the Pro-European Parties into the European Parliament and the Anti-Europe Parties into the National Parliament. . . (Assuming folk are against the EU, ); ironically the exact opposite of what is likely to happen because the worst thing that can happen in a democracy is let the public vote. The twist in that is the worst people to be in charge in a country that does not allow a democratic vote is the people in charge.

You are left with one rather radical option just put my name on all the ballot papers for everything, I will sort it out, although I will not take us out of Europe, they are OK they just have leaders like us, that are a bit self indulgent and rather like themselves a bit too much.      

Parties. Poo Men and Eurovision

Life is a strange thing full of ups and downs, last night there I was at a posh dimmer (sorry dinner) party of which I will write in a bit and then today I had a slight down. . . . . No not in the way you might think, you see I had popped out to do a little work on the Zombie Defence Ditch which as you know (most know) is connected to the septic tank, well no Zombie is going to climb over that lot. So I thought; OK DAD thought I should check the septic tank to ensure all was well, but I made the error of taking one step backwards and sort of fell downwards in the septic tank in a sort of YUCK way. So today I became a Poo Man, I now know why you seldom see Poo men because other folk have a habit to either running away or turning cold nose (hose) pipes on you shouting “AAAAAAUuuuuuuuuuugggggHHHHH go away it’s a monster . . .IT'S  Poo MAN” . It appears that the life of a Poo Man is not all it is cracked up to be (I can’t help but feel there is a terrible joke in that statement somewhere).

OK enough on that I will return to last night which was very good and we all had a lovely evening and it was great food, a really interesting curry that was an Indonesian favourite of the host from her days in the grand palaces of Indonesia. I did have a couple of problems one was the interesting Indonesian serving implements which involves a special technique in order not to appear to throw curry at the person sitting next to you. Luckily the person sat next to me was very good at using them but unluckily for them I was not. Then I was faced with two knifes and a spoon one side of the plate and a fork the other and a fork and a spoon at the top of the plate, a configuration of cutlery I have not seen before. But luck was on my side as the others had by now been distracted by the person next to me who was covered in curry.

What was also rather cool is the house was full of Indonesian furniture and we had to light a candle for a little God (a God of good fortune and money) whose name I can’t remember. It was a small painted god about two foot high but the host told us that is was painted in order that it could be shipped home OK without any agro as it was made of gold and shipping solid gold Gods about can cause a bit of bother with customs and the like. It still looked cool though even though it still had its paint job, done back in the streets on Indonesia.

Anyway as I said it was a great meal and we finally got home sometime around two in the morning. And I did not see Steven Spielberg; I think he might have been concerned his nice white jacket would end up covered in curry.

OOooooooooo finally it is the Eurovision Song Contest tonight so I am predicting the UK will do rubbish based on two facts; one the UK song will be terrible (I have not heard it yet so it must be), the UK has produced some really bad songs of late and then folk wonder why we come last. The second fact is the rest of Europe don’t like us so no one would vote for us even if we had a good song . . . . . Please note I can write this before it all starts because these facts are a dead certainty or my name is not Rumblestilskin.