The Exponential Time Curve of DIY, Lists & Zombies

So what did I do today well not a lot I did manage to clean up the last window in the Kitchen, which has been lingering about as a job to do for some time now.  I have over time come to realize that working on the house you actually live in has its own issues that need to be taken into account.  One of the more important of these is the completion of the task, OK it sounds dead easy, but it is not. You see you start off all keen and enthusiastic and the job skips along like a kangaroo chasing a porcupine on a skateboard, but the nearer you get to completion the slower you work. Eventually you will come to a grinding halt although it can be difficult to judge at what point this will happen; with luck it will be with something tiny left to do that folk will not notice. 

Now some of you will be thinking OOOOoooooo no I would never do that, but anyone who does any DIY on their own home, which here in Britain is loads of folk will know this is a universal truth.  I am sure that there is a wise old Chinese saying from back in time that says something like. . . . . No man should ever completely finish working on his own home if he wishes to remain happy. . .  It is a wise if sexist saying, but back then old Chinese sayings could be a bit like that, lets face it political correctness is not something history is abundant in.

However in respect to completing the work in the kitchen this was the last awkward little job to get done and it is all chilled from now on with only a few tiny wafer thin bits left to do which based on the Exponential Time Curve of DIY (that’s Do It Yourself if this is a term not used outside of Britain).  So in a mere 15 years it will all be done. However there are loads of other jobs to do I have a list which was given to myself and our friendly builder Chris. Although Chris the friendly builder was given his own list by his wife so he is a bit busy at present, well up to the point he has almost finished then he will be back. We have a project to start in the garden building a Welsh Chapel lookalike Summerhouse and bolthole to escape from passing Zombies.   Zombies avoid Welsh Chapels because they will say. . . It is full of Hymn. . . . . HA HAH ahah ah ah a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah a hah  

Talking of which I still have to write my all new Halloween tale of an old witch from a strange Kingdom where celebrating Halloween was banned until one year when . . . . . . OK that is enough of a hint for now. . . . . Exciting isn’t it . . . AH DAMN

And a bit of Poetry to keep you happy

The strange world of twitter

Is full of bits of litter

Jumbled words in a few short lines

From the jumbled heads of jumbled minds

Where has the Tarra-gone

It’s been missing for some Thyme

It ran off to Coriander

Having heard the Garlic had been crushed

And the Chives all chopped up Fine. 

The Science of Dark Matter, Squirrels and Micro Gods

Mr Chris the Builder was back today as planned and as he worked away busily making concrete squirrels and I was back down in the mud of the deep trench, (if you are wondering Zombies really hate Squirrels, it is a well known fact). Anyway as we toiled away Mr Chris the builder said to me Rob it has been a long time since you discussed anything of ANY scientific note, its all Zombies these days and he is right so I thought SCIENCE thoughts not Zombie thoughts.

So as I was thinking and we moved some three foot paving slabs which are rather heavy beasts it occurred to me that energy and force can all be a bit odd, well some forms of them can. Lifting paving slabs is all very easy to understand; your body is a source of energy that creates a force and uses the body to lift the slab by physical contact with the slab. But if you think about the moon it goes round the Earth held in place by a force called gravity, it might sound simple enough but a force can only be exerted on a thing if there is a link. Like lightning that is energy that links to the ground, and it has substance, it is a real thing, an understandable force.  Gravity in order to be gravity has to somehow have some sort of link, and we are not talking small links with no force after all the link creates tides at sea so this is serious energy and force and plainly a huge and substantial link. So how come we cant see it, like a giant shimmering blue haze all the way to the moon, well I am glad you asked me that because I will tell you what this link is made of…… Dark Matter

Yes for ages scientists have told us that the universe is mainly made of Dark Matter but no one can find it, what they need to do is start looking at the gravitational links between everything. Links are links because they are made of stuff even if you can’t see the stuff, and the stuff has substance, if there was no link then things like the moon would just drift off and cats would float into the sky. So in short Gravity has substance and the substance of Gravity is Dark Matter, but for reasons best know to the appropriate Micro God we cant see it or do useful things with it . . . . . OK yes dad can he has a Dark Matter Motor to run the all new Mk2 Weather Machine which he hopes to switch on in just a week or two.

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Mr Chris the Builder and a Wall

Time is short so in that case so is my post, you see it has been an incredibly busy day as Mr Chris the builder has been here and what was going to be a nice simple job doing some minor work on the Zombie defence ditch turned into a large huge job. It appears the Zombies had undermined a wall and so we spent the day replacing this wall which was rather hard work as well as muddy and very smelly. The wall you see was supporting and holding a substantial anti-Zombie moat full of stuff that even a Zombie would think twice about wading through, so working in the moat was not nice. But it is done now, well the hard part in done now and I can sleep again knowing that we are Zombie free provided they don’t work out that if the walk round the end of the wall and moat they can attack me. Zombies are not smart though and tend to go in straight lines, a bit like the Romans did although I don’t think the Romans were Zombies because they built aqueducts and stuff and didn't play dominoes.

OK that’s it time up.

Ooooo yes tomorrow is also a rather busy day I am helping the Ghost Writer shift stuff and going out for a meal. so I will also be rather late and to the point (as in pointy sticks) tomorrow also…..  

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