The Closing Ceremony of the Glasgow Commonwealth Games, a Mole, A Chainsaw, and Aliens

So what have I done today I hear you are say as if with the single voice of silence. . . . Well I am glad you have asked, sort of asked, thought about asking, OK no one has asked. But I know you need to know, well it started with the a view of our front lawn in a state of minor disarray and when I say minor I really mean miner because the lawn has small humps on it. Yes it can only be a Mole (not as in the spy but as in the small cute but annoying furry beast).  I am trying to be nice to the mole, he is after all only doing what moles do which is destroy lawns in the pursuit of wisdom (sorry worms) and in general no one is friendly to moles so it only seems fair to be nice.  So tactic number one is Moth balls dropped down the moles labyrinth of runs. . . . . .  To tell the truth I am not optimistic in the slightest, but we will see.

I have also had a large bonfire burning to clear a big pile of stuff which needed to be moved before next Saturday when we are expecting Digger Chris rather than Builder Chris who will be coming to do another job soon.  I have also had a bit of a play with the chainsaw and cut a few things down that need cutting down. One thing I have not ventured off to see is the Dancing Sheep, I am sure they must be good but I suspect someone will tell me all about it at some point.

Tonight is the big grand finish of the Commonwealth Games and what can I say I am really disappointed that I never got to see an Alien maybe they are still in the chip shop eating deep fried Haggis. It is quite possible as this is a treat seldom seen outside Scotland yet alone a far distant Alien world.

Anyway I did catch a brief comment on Radio four that seem to say that Lulu the well known Scottish singer from many moons ago was going to recite the Kali Monologue well I think that’s what they said. I am looking forward to hearing the lady famed for her shout reciting

सर्वमङ्गलमाङ्गल्ये शिवे सर्वार्थसाधिके । शरण्ये त्र्यम्बके गौरि नारायणि नमोऽस्तु ते ॥ॐ जयंती मंगल काली भद्रकाली कपालिनी । दुर्गा क्षमा शिवा धात्री स्वाहा स्वधा नमोऽस्तु‍ते . . . .Everybody Shout Now  सर्वमङ्गलमाङ्गल्ये शिवे सर्वार्थसाधिके । शरण्ये त्र्यम्बके गौरि नारायणि नमोऽस्तु ते ॥ॐ जयंती मंगल काली भद्रकाली कपालिनी । दुर्गा क्षमा शिवा धात्री स्वाहा स्वधा नमोऽस्तु‍ते. . . . . . .

I suspect the Hindu community of Glasgow will be very pleased and somewhat surprised.

I also believe that the plan is to recreate a classic night out in Glasgow so I will be watching as this could be my last chance to spot Aliens at the Commonwealth Games as they devour a Deep fried Mars bar and a fish supper washed down with an Iron Bru and a Whiskey chaser as they shout  . . . . . . . . . Whit’s fur ye’ll no go by ye  before returning to space to return soon

Maybe not today, Maybe not tomorrow but soon in a woodland near you. . . . .

Keep Watching the Skies  . . . . .

What came first, the chicken or the chainsaw. . . . .

Sunday, the sun was shining and it was lovely and warm all day, I did not have to venture into the Zombie Defence Ditch as it is doing what it is meant to do, we have seen no Zombies today. I even chopped a few logs because as  sure as fish are fish or what ever it is you say all this sun will run off and hide again soon, and all the rain will run all over the place and make things wet.

Chopping logs is one of those jobs us chaps like because we get to wave chainsaws about and large axes in a slightly demented way going HAH HAHHAHAH AH hah ah hah ah hah ah hah hahah hahahh hah ahhahah a lot as we do. It also amuses any passing motorists if you cover the wood pile in tomato ketchup and mannequin body parts.  You can always tell if a passing motorist has spotted you as they swerve all over the road, I assume because they are having a bit of a giggle at the image of a mad axe man. One motorist did stop and looked at the torso of my mannequin as I was wiping tomato ketchup off the chainsaw blade, but I told them its OK because it was completely armless . . . . . . . . .. HAHHAH HAHH HAH AHH AH hahh ah hah ah ha hah ah hahahh ha hah ahhahahhah,  Oooooo I did have a good laugh but they suddenly vanished off at speed, so I guess they were running a bit late.

We met one of our new neighbours today she was a sort of brownish red colour and walked funny, but it turned out to be a Gallus Gallus Domesticus or as it is more commonly known a Rhode Island Red. Still it has finally resolved one of the worlds great riddles . . . . . . What came first the chicken or the egg . . . . . because clearly the correct answer is the chicken as an egg can’t wander through the fence from next door.

The Pope and a chainsaw

It’s a funny old world there we all were yesterday watching the Pope become Pope, while on the subject of the Pope I was wondering about the Popes hat and his clothes because maybe they have to elect a Pope the right size for all the formal wear that goes with the post. After all you can’t just nip to a shop and buy a Popes outfit off the shelf so although all these things look like it’s all very spontaneous maybe it’s less so than we think. It would be interesting to know the height of all the Popes and what shoe size they are, and so on.

OK no that is a diversion from what I was going to say, I was going to say that yesterday I was watching the Pope (although not understanding a word) and today I have been using a chainsaw to chop logs. Now I need to point out this is purely a coincidence and that there is absolutely no link between the two events no matter how suspicious that might sound to you all. 

As we know one of the Popes middle names is Mario so I think it might only be a matter of time until the Pope-Mobile is renamed the Mario-Cart . . . . . Sorry back to the chainsaw, it is said that you get to warm up chopping logs for the fire then get warm again stacking the logs and finally get warm burning the logs, which is why dad said I was very lucky to be allowed to gain so much heat from our logs. The Pope (sorry dad) also says he who blunts the chainsaw, sharpens the chainsaw, as it happens the Pope might also say it because I can’t speak Latin, but I suspect the Pope does not say it.

I am also helping the Ghost Writer fix a computer because he says there is an old saying which goes . . . . . .You should never Byte the Ram that feeds you . . . . . although I cant see the logic in that myself  . . . . HAH HAH HHAHAHH hah ah ha hahahah aahhah ahhah hah ahh ahhah ah ha hah aha ha ha ha hahahhaha hahahahahahaha hahahahaha.

And I also have other things to do which involve putting some music on a CD for a friend so I might be off doing things like that tonight, therefore this will be your lot for today. Tomorrow is very busy to, and in the evening we are off to have a meal with Mr Charlie and Miss Jane so tomorrows diary entry might be shorter that today’s, which appears to be about average  . . . . . . . .PHEW  . . . . . . . . . . 

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