4th July . . . . A friendly Message from Britain (again) . . . .Yes we are still friendly (mostly)

With the Forth of July tomorrow I thought it was a good day to repeat last years post about the 4th July because as it happens I will be busy tomorrow doing my good deed. . . . . . It is good to do good deeds it sort of shows folk that we are not all nasty and some of us are generally quite nice . . . . . . a bit . . . . . . sometimes.

Today is the 4^th of July a day that is celebrated in the USA as Independence Day, a day when I am told America leaps about, lets off fireworks and folk stand about being patriotic. Here in Britain folk carry on as normal unless it is Sunday in which case they all go to IKEA.

Us British have always wondered why our American friends decided they were not happy being a colony of Britain, after all the ordinary man in the street such as myself is a fairly nice sort of chap and in general find Americans a nice bunch who almost speak half decent English. In fact it would be true to say that more English understand Americans than a Glaswegian just a few miles up the road in Scotland.  The American accent being sort of a cross between Middle England and Middle Australian, probably because they live in the land between these two great countries. America is more a group of small countries known as States so is sort of a bit like Europe really only they fight less and don’t insult their adjoining states like we do in Europe, (We have all gone off Greece a bit more since last year). 

However the good folk of the USA do have one or two odd anomalies that we notice from time to time when they come to visit the old homeland. They do seem to spell some words a bit oddly, however I do that all the time so I understand how that can happen. And they do seem to like the Queen and all the Royals, a bit odd when they were so keen to get rid of them in the first place. Ironically there are many folk in Britain who would love to get rid of the Royals and would happily sell a few to the USA.  I have also heard them imply that their Zombies and Monsters are better than our Zombies and Monsters, well that is just plain silly everyone knows European Monsters are superior to all by a long way.  And we all know that a nice cup of tea and crab paste sandwiches in an old Lyons Café can not be compared with MacDonald’s, it is a foolish thing to even attempt. When was the last time you saw the corner of your Big Mac curling up in the sun and getting crusty while a gang of little old ladies pondered the iced buns.

Anyway I hope you lot over in the USA have enjoyed your day, and if you ever feel you would like to rejoin us (it is never to late) we are happy to share a nice tea party (not that one but the one where you drink tea in the garden) with you………… . . . .

What happened to that Tea Party of yours did they vanish off into the wild forests of Canada looking for the Big Foot. . . 

4th July . . . . A friendly Message from Britain

OK I am not good at drawing flags 

Today is the 4^th of July a day that is celebrated in the USA as Independence Day, a day when I am told America leaps about, lets off fireworks and folk stand about being patriotic. Here in Britain folk carry on as normal unless it is Sunday in which case they all go to IKEA.

Us British have always wondered why our American friends decided they were not happy being a colony of Britain, after all the ordinary man in the street such as myself is a fairly nice sort of chap and in general find Americas a nice bunch who almost speak half decent English. In fact it would be true to say that more English understand Americans than a Glaswegian just a few miles up the road in Scotland.  The American accent being sort of a cross between Middle England and Middle Australian, probably because they live in the land between these two great countries. American is more a group of small countries known as States so is sort of a bit like Europe really only they fight less and don’t insult their adjoining states like we do in Europe.  

Of course the good folk of the USA do have one or two odd anomalies that we notice from time to time when they come to visit the old homeland. They do seem to spell some words a bit oddly, however I do that all the time so I understand how that can happen. And they do seem to like the Queen and all the Royals, a bit odd when they were so keen to get rid of them in the first place. Ironically there are many folk in Britain who would love to get rid of the Royals and would happily sell a few to the USA.  I have also heard them imply that their Zombies and Monsters are better than our Zombies and Monsters, well that is just plain silly everyone knows European Monsters are superior to all by a long way.  And we all know that a nice cup of tea and crab paste sandwiches in an old Lyons Café can not be compared with MacDonald’s, it is a foolish thing to even attempt. When was the last time you saw the corner of your Big Mac curling up in the sun and getting crusty while a gang of little old ladies pondered the iced buns.

Anyway I hope you lot over in the USA have enjoyed your day, and if you ever feel you would like to rejoin us we are happy to share a nice tea party (not that one but the one where you drink tea in the garden) with you………… . . . .

Ooooooo It rained today and I cut a hedge and ate food.

Intelligence Agencies, spying, the Mk3 Mechanical Spy Bird and Steven Spielberg.

The British and American Intelligence Agencies have said I am allowed one more go at designing a decent mechanical spy bird or they will stop following my online diary and that will result in most of my readers vanishing (as most of them are them). But they also say that if I do a jolly good job, OK it was the British Intelligence Agency used the word jolly, Americans don’t really say Jolly a lot, if ever, they tend to say kick Ass or use slightly cruder terms such as SHIT or YO never GOOD SHOW CHAPS like us chaps in Britain, as it happens such things are seldom said in Britain much these days really, it is the changing times.

Anyway all this is by the by and of no consequence to man nor beast or spies.  What the chaps in the murky world of intelligence gathering have said, is that if I make a really good job of the Mark Three Mechanical Spy Bird they will secrete a small device under the pillow of the very nice Mr Steven Spielberg, so at night it will repeatedly repeat the subliminal message into his ear . . . . . . . . . . That Rob Z Tobor is a rather clever chap who has a cracking (if long) diary which would make a great film. Go on you know you want to; make the movie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well who could not be persuaded by such an offer?

So here we have the all New Mk3 Mechanical Spy Bird, as someone once famously said in a very similar position, well when I say similar it was sort of similar-ish……………. One small flap for man one giant leap for spying…….. OK he did not say exactly that but he meant to,  I think?

How come they have never let any women go to the moon it seems a bit unfair, maybe they are just not stupid enough to volunteer

The US Debt Ceiling and why it could be worse

I have been working on the floor again today I need to get it finished before I whiz away for a few days on a secret mission, leaving you all in suspense asking questions like WHY…. WHERE …. HOW …. WILL HE RETURN …. DO WE CARE.

It is rather ironic working on a floor today because I thought I might discuss the American debt ceiling and the present impasse of their political system. The reason for this is because one or two of my American friends are a little worried and concerned that America is looking a bit stupid. So I am here to reassure them that this is not the case, OK yes we might all snigger a bit but only because America is a huge super power.

You see it may be rather frustrating to live in a country that has sort of closed, but at the end of the day it is better to live in a country that is fairly tolerant of most points of view and allows the individual to do their own thing within reason and there is at least a degree of equality. Lets face it things like equality and tolerance are never quite as they should be even in the best of countries, so the USA is doing as good as any.  You see the alternatives are not so good, places like China, Russia, most of the Middle East huge chunks of Africa and loads of smaller places would I suspect blame the whites, the blacks, the Catholics, the Jews, the Christians, Muslims or Old Bert’s Dog etc and shoot them all or lock them up or have a bloody military coo or someone would just tell you to hand over everything or else.

I am sure there is plenty of inequality in the US but it is less than many many other countries. The hard bit in all this is that folks living standards in the West in general are probably going to drop with time, we have had a good time (well some have) but we have blown all the money now and so its back to crunchy dried ships biscuits, a glass of grandpa’s moonshine and growing veg in the garden, milking the goat and selling the goats cheese on Ebay.  And a pleasant trip to the office in the pony and trap.

It might be tough and hopefully your politicians will think country and not self, but somehow I suspect you will all muddle through in the end. After all most ordinary people in most countries are nice including your good selves     

So my friends in the USA yes you may be broke, bankrupt, insolvent, penniless, ruined and bust but at the end of the day you could live in Syria or the like or eating Old Bert’s Dog…

Autumn, floors and the closure of a large place

Today was without doubt the most Autumnal day of the year so far, indicating that autumn really has arrived. Here in Britain that means that the temp in about 12C to 15c it is very very grey on account of the fact the sun is hiding behind a thick layer of grey cloud and it is also slightly drizzly and the hills are shrouded in a layer of mist. Still it could be worse……..

Anyway I was doing practical things at school today as the headmaster insisted or he said he would send me home to mark exam papers from this years new intake of pupils. So today I started to put down a new school staff kitchen floor to cheer it up and make it more colour coordinated… With luck it will be finished on Thursday and we can then play chess on it.

I noticed on the news this morning that the United States of America has closed as a result of a political stalemate in their equivalent of the House of Commons or maybe Lords (Congress). As it happens the real reason that American has closed is that it is broke, yes sadly the country has less money than a lonesome tuna fish in an aqua theme park which has now closed till further notice. But although broke America also has all the really scary weapons, so it will be OK because we will smile and lend them some more, it is always good to be friendly with the man with the scariest weapons. I could try waving my pointy stick, but I feel it will not have the same effect.

So all in all I have not had an exciting day and neither have folk in America, it must have been like the old days in Wales on Sunday’s before IKEA…..