Sunday, 19 May 2019

The Vampire a Mummy and a Cat . . . . . . and a workshop in progress

As I work away on my workshop in the garden I have realized it is turning into quite a lot of work. This is my own fault for making a fully insulated, double glazed workshop with a few minor fancy bits. The summerhouse I built took three years, so I hope to have this all done in about six months in total . . . . . We will see. Anyway while the weather is OK I will keep working (I am not keen on work so Poo) and get the walls sorted next.

OK as diaries go this is a bit rubbish so to cheer folk up I have included a poem . . . . OK yes its a repeat from way back. I need to write some new poetry. Possibly about sheds and workshops, although that does seem to have rather limited market appeal. 

Anyway here is one about a Vampire a Mummy and a Cat. 

A Vampire and a Mummy
Chased a large black cute fluffy cat . . . . . (Meow)
They chased it up a lamp post
And past an Ex-London borough council flat
They chased it past the chip shop
And under a railway bridge
And into the recycling yard
Where it hid behind a fridge
They chased it into a cul-de-sac
Past a pound shop and a café
And into a posh restaurant
Where the cat knocked over a carafe
They chased it onto the artificial ski slope
Past a man singing songs and drinking Gin
And round and round a roundabout
Until they all got in a spin
They chased it into the cinema
Which was showing the movie
Catch 22
They chased it into a railway station
And then into the public Loo
But they soon all ran out again
Because there was a penguin
Doing things it should not do
Then they chased it past a statue
Of Queen Victoria holding a Stratoscope
Chasing the cat for hours and hours
Until they had almost given up all hope. . . . . . .
But when they finally caught up with it
It seemed the cat just did not care
Because the cat was in fact
An android Zombie Cat
Which cut the Mummy clean in half
With its android Zombie Cat laser eye stare
Which as you might expect
The Vampire proclaimed was ever so slightly
Rotten and
And the cat smiled
And said it didn’t care
Typical cat

Friday, 17 May 2019

The Damselfly and the Maybug . . . . . And a Bus


We visited the local village market this morning to buy provisions such as veggies, bread, bacon, spicy sausages, butter plus a quick discussion with locals about a bus protest because the local government grant might end for the local bus to the great metropolis of Shrewsbury. Rather ironic because it is probably the busiest bus about for miles and is normally standing room only by about half way there. Still that’s politics for you a bit odd at times.  Then we had a trip to say happy birthday to our daughter and a toasted sandwich at a local grand house with a happy dog that roams about hunting toasted sandwiches
Followed by a visit to a huge greenhouse to buy some plants before heading home and doing woodwork on you know what.  Then a bowl of soup and then I came face to face with a damselfly. It was rather a friendly damselfly and was happy to chat about busses, Maybugs and ponds and the like for a bit before flying off.

After that I did stuff, watched a bit of news on the telly shouted a bit a someone discussing politics on the telly, and then told the cats they were greedy and that ten meals each a day was enough for a huge wild cat, not just your average moggies who chill all day doing almost nothing.

And finally I have been outside as it is very very still and on nights this calm things move about in the darkness. Normally it is just Zombies, but tonight it is a couple of Hedgehogs and a confused Maybug or two. As far as I can tell Maybugs are always confused and that Damselfly certainly thought so. My wife hates Maybugs due to their clumsy flying techniques and general inability to avoid humans. Some folk (such as my wife) are not keen on being hit in the face by Maybugs as they negotiate (or fail to) the night sky.

Then write diary.

Are you wondering what I did yesterday?  . . . .  So am I . . . I can’t remember.

Tuesday, 14 May 2019

Shed Roofs, Cups of Tea and Aliens


It has remained sunny and so I have been working on the Homebrew Workshop a lot. What is frustrating is my brain thinks OOOoooo do this, and then you can do that bit followed by that other bit and then paint and seal stuff. My body follows along grumbling and demanding a rest while shouting at my brain . . . . . What the ******* are you doing now I’m old and knackered you know . . . . . Pesky Brain. I am meant to be retired you know. . . . . .

I suspect my body is much like other folks bodies when they get old and knackered. They complain a great deal and really hate an enthusiastic bouncy brain. Anyway by the end of today even bending down was a good reason to groan, followed by a slightly louder groan getting up.

However the task I wished to achieve is done. Which was to get the roof felt secured on the roof of the workshop so that if it rains in the next few days it will not matter. What made it tricky is that I have made a huge fixed skylight on the south side of the roof and I wanted that sealed and watertight and painted. Having managed that I now don’t need to get back on the roof again, I just need to secure the edges neatly. This is after all going to be a very posh workshop to make very posh things in.

I would add a picture of my work here to show you but by the time I had eaten . . .Fish and Chips . . . YUM ... and then rested and chilled for a bit it was too dark so a picture will have to wait so here is an old picture I drew of a UFO . . . Aliens are always keen to meet grumpy old men in sheds, as they tend to be Alien friendly and folk just think they are mad when they tell then Aliens visited me again last night while I was pottering in my shed. They do like a nice cup of tea and a chat about life.

Sunday, 12 May 2019

A view from a roof


What a lovely sunny day it has been today. This meant that I was able to do some really constructive work on the roof of the new workshop I am building myself.  I achieved a bit yesterday but being Britain when you need a guaranteed window of a few days with no rain, (they are far and few between)  when you get one you go for it... Today was predicted dry and so is tomorrow and probably the day after. And that is good enough for me to get that roof felt fitted. It seems I just bought enough too. With basically nothing left over so  ...  PHEW.

One thing about a lovely sunny day working on a roof is you get a great view of things. Our garden is rather overgrown which is good and it means it is full of wildlife, not just Zombies and Hedgehogs either. It is full of butterflies and all manner of small flying critters which is probably why we get House Martians chatting on the power and telephone lines. House Martins sound a bit like dolphins to me which might explain why we never see them in the winter. They turn in dolphins, let’s face it, it’s got to be easier than flying to Africa chasing insects for dinner.

Right a few pictures taken from the New Workshop roof today. . . . .

The summerhouse I built has a proper roof not felt
Note the Zombie trail across the field
Pesky Beasts.

MMmmm we do have quite a few trees and shrubs

You can start to see that a Zombie could hide for ages in that lot