A Jumble Sale, Archie and a Hedgehog called Voldemort

He is now called Voldemort

somebody has too since the Bear became Archie  

Yesterday I learnt several interesting things about human nature and jumble sales. You see a couple of folk in the village decided that they would have a jumble sale to raise money for the local church although I don’t know which church as there are a few scattered about.  It was this jumble sale that we did the name the bear for, which I will return to in a bit. (no I'm not religious but a chap must do his bit) 

Well on Friday afternoon after the market left the village hall, the organizers of the jumble sale moved in. Our little job was to get the tombola sorted, well that is easier said than done as I would not know a tombola if it bite me on the leg. . . . OK I do now, I learnt quickly . . . . very very quickly yesterday.

Anyway the key point was that when we arrived  at the opening time of the village hall on Saturday. There was a bouncer on the door holding back the masses. I really mean it, it was scary. You see opening time was 2.00pm and the whole event was due to finish by 4.30pm and the village hall was heaving with stuff loads and loads of stuff and most of it a bit dodgy, not as in stolen but as in O MY GOD what . . . that is YUCK.

Well as the clock hit 2.00pm the masses were allowed in and it was not a quiet sedate wander in no it was a rush like the Harrods sale at New Year on the TV. They all rushed past the tombola and Name the Bear and the raffle and folk just fought over stuff and I mean fought, I’m sure there must be some sort of reality show in what folk do in jumble sales if this is normal.  I thought it would be quiet and no one would show up but apparently a jumble sale like this will be stripped clean by folk who go to car boot sales where they sell it all again, in fact a lot of them will have been selling it today.

In the end folk settled down and decided to try the tombola and the Name the Bear and in the end the whole event raised about £850 so not bad for a tiny village. As for the Bear it turned out he was called Archie. . . It just so happens that at the weekly market there is a small person of about 18 months who sells rather good organic meat with his mum and he is called Archie, maybe it’s a coincidence but if so it’s a big one. I did not guess the name correctly by the way as Voldemort was not on the list. . . DAMN

OOOoooooo one final little thing we have what seems to be a fairly chilled sort of half tame young hedgehog in the garden who is eating the birds peanuts so I took a picture of him early. A cool little beast he/she is too and he is now called Voldemort 

I could say so much more about that jumble sale but I don’t have time which is a shame,  it seems they bring out the worst in folk and that’s for sure and I may never go to one ever again. 

Newton Newton III . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers

Newton Newton III

Newton Newton III (known to his friends as Ken) had been born into a poor mining family, his father (Newton Newton II) moving to London after he lost his job in the mines when new technology was introduced in the form of the Hutt Hydraulic Hammer. But Newton Newton III was an upbeat young man who loved to explore nature and was convinced that humans had evolved from an earlier less intelligent species on the planet. He often observed the dog eat dog lifestyle of the poverty of the Victorian ghettos of London and how man would battle with dogs to get the scraps of the well off in order to survive, recording the details in his many journals. Unfortunately this led Newton Newton III (Ken) to believe man was descended from dogs which ultimately resulted in his theory being dropped in favour of that of Charles Darwin,

He did realise however that he did not have to go on The Grand Tour to Greece, Persia or Venice or hunt for the source of the Amazon or Nile or climb huge mountains in order to discover new species of plants, animals, pigeons or insects, Publishing several books based on his own ideas and observing the many aspects of wildlife missed by his more affluent contemporaries in more exotic climates.

In fact today several of his books have become classics of there time proving good science is not all about money, these include the following publications

The streams of the Bradford Suburbs

The hedgerows of Port Talbot

The source of the old hill road to Stockdale

The many ponds of Luton

Lyons in London . . . A Guide to Wildlife in London Café Culture.

After discovering a new species of bright red frog in the ponds of Luton Newton Newton III became known as Red Ken. Then as he got older he went into politics having seen the poverty of many parts of Britain eventually becoming head of the GLC (Greater London Council), but his first passion was always wildlife and exploring the backwaters of Great Britain.    

The Concluding Part of Harry Potter and the Dark Clouds of Doom . . . . (Part Four)

Link to Part Three 

If there is one useful tip that everyone should know about Godzilla it is that He/She gets bored very quickly. This is not something the wizards of Hogwarts are aware of, but everyone is hiding anyway with the exception of a small girl called Lily Luna who is shouting

Look I have now named you Wally and I would like you to wear this pink ribbon round your neck so that everyone knows you are a pet Godzilla. And stop making all that noise you are scaring the cat.

Well as you can imagine the huge Godzilla is not going to wear a pink ribbon or eat a carrot so with little else to amuse it in the Academy it wanders off deep into the Magic Forrest, where it suspects there might just be a large Gorilla called Kong. Apparently the Gorilla has been telling the very nice David Attenborough that it is King of the jungle and that the big lizard is a so called has been.  And that the old Gypsy is rubbish as it told him he was going to fall off a big building while being shot at by biplanes. . . Those old Gypsies will tell folk anything for a few coins and an ice cream. . . .

As Lily Luna headed back to Harry Potters office annoyed that her new pet has wandered off she stumbles over a small strange creature and she decides there and then that this will be her new pet. She has no idea what it is but looks it up in the rather useful book . . .  Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them . . . . .  it turns out to be a Loopisaurus. Without reading about it she heads off to the office to tell her dad.

look what I got dad, its a Loopisaurus she says as she enters the office . . . . . . . What are you doing under the desk dad . . . .with HagriD?

As they emerge they look at the beast and Harry says

Is that a Loopisaurus . . .  I have a bad feeling about this I can sense those Dark Clouds of Doom again

Why dad . . . .  it’s my new pet

Hagrid butting in and saying the Loopisaurus makes time go in loops its, its defence mechanism it confuses its enemies until they get a headache and run off.

That’s silly she says, and with that she runs off out of the office to play with her new pet

O Dear says Harry I can feel those Dark Clouds of Doom I think it is time to hide under the desk again…

But just as Harry and Hagrid vanish under the desk the door opens again and in runs Lily Luna

look what I got dad, its a Loopisaurus she says as she enters the office . . . . . . . What are you doing under the desk dad . . . .with HagriD?

As they emerge they look at the beast and Harry says

Is that a Loopisaurus . . .  I have a bad feeling about this I can sense those Dark Clouds of Doom again

Why dad . . . .  it’s my new pet

Hagrid butting in and saying the Loopisaurus makes time go in loops its, its defence mechanism it confuses its enemies until they get a headache and run off.

That’s silly she says and with that she runs off out of the office to play with her new pet

O Dear says Harry I can feel those Dark Clouds of Doom I think it is time to hide under the desk again…

But just as Harry and Hagrid vanish under the desk the door opens again and in runs Lily Luna.

look what I got dad, its a Loopisaurus she says as she enters the office . . . . . . . What are you doing under the desk dad . . . .with HagriD?

As they emerge they look at the beast and Harry says

Is that a Loopisaurus . . .  I have a bad feeling about this I can sense those Dark Clouds of Doom again

Why dad . . . .  it’s my new pet

Hagrid butting in and saying the Loopisaurus makes time go in loops its, its defence mechanism it confuses its enemies until they get a headache and run off.

That’s silly she says and with that she runs off out of the office to play with her new pet

O Dear says Harry I can feel those Dark Clouds of Doom I think it is time to hide under the desk again…

But just as Harry and Hagrid vanish under the desk the door opens again and in runs Lily Luna

look what I got dad, its a Loopisaurus she says as she enters the office . . . . . . . What are you doing under the desk dad . . . .with HagriD?

As they emerge they look at the beast and Harry says

Is that a Loopisaurus . . .  I have a bad feeling about this I can sense those Dark Clouds of Doom again

Why dad . . . .  it’s my new pet

Hagrid butting in and saying the Loopisaurus makes time go in loops its, its defence mechanism it confuses its enemies until they get a headache and run off.

That’s silly she says and with that she runs off out of the office to play with her new pet

O Dear says Harry I can feel those Dark Clouds of Doom I think it is time to hide under the desk again…

But just as Harry and Hagrid vanish under the desk the door opens again and in runs Lily Luna

look what I got dad, its a Loopisaurus she says as she enters the office . . . . . . . What are you doing under the desk dad . . . .with HagriD?

As they emerge they look at the beast and Harry says

Is that a Loopisaurus . . .  I have a bad feeling about this I can sense those Dark Clouds of Doom again

Why dad . . . .  it’s my new pet

Hagrid butting in and saying the Loopisaurus makes time go in loops its, its defence mechanism it confuses its enemies until they get a headache and run off.

That’s silly she says and with that she runs off out of the office to play with her new pet

O Dear says Harry I can feel those Dark Clouds of Doom I think it is time to hide under the desk again…

But just as Harry and Hagrid vanish under the desk the door opens again and in runs Lily Luna

Hagrid. . .says Harry

Yes Harry

I’ve got a headache I think we should run away

THE END 

The Fickleness of the Public and Cats and Popular Blogs

Last month my blog had a new record page view count of just over 7,500 and I was a well snig (sorry Smug) little blogger dropping this into conversations with the cats as they demanded their dinner. They pretended not to care until I pointed out if they did not look pleased they would get no food, O yes they soon changed there minds then and meowed loads until I fed them after which they lost interest.

Anyway this month I have had just under 9,500 page views, yet another record for me and I have warned the cats they better look pleased or it is lean times ahead for a few days. I have been trying to work out why this has happened and yet again it comes down to the one thing . . . . . . . Sport.  Yes sadly if I mention sport suddenly I get more page views and of course after the world cup I was forced to comment on the Commonwealth Games a bit. I say a bit because I have not done very well doing this and so far have not spotted a single Alien, just that huge spaceship that no one is mentioning that is perched right in the middle of it all. When I say perched I mean landed or it would be a large alien bird of some sort and I think folk would run away screaming rather than pretend it’s some sort of sports complex or some such other silly idea.

Only I am not sure I have any sporting events left to comment on so I may be forced to make up something that sounds like it might really be happening such as the World Ice Juggling championships or the International Scientists Mathematical Cascade Race.  Personally I prefer Aliens and Zombies and the like but the public seem to have abandoned their love of these fine critters and prefer sport. . . . .  It makes you wonder what the world is coming too, before long we will all be fighting each other or dropping dead from strange tropical diseases. . . .

AH DAMN . . . . Still it will soon be Christmas.  

Computers, Hat Stands and Chaos Theory

The Ghost Writer has been in his grey office today looking at three new computers, he does not really like new computers because he is old and confused, slow and full of dents which means he has a natural affinity with old computers as they too are generally confused, slow and full of dents. He has also noticed that the company that he buys all the computers from have a habit of phoning him up and being all chirpy saying they will help. Now you might think that is very helpful and kind, but it is apparently rather irritating to log onto a site only to have a nice man phone you up fifteen seconds later, smiling (the Ghost Writer is assuming he is smiling) and offering to help.  It is like going into a large shop full of exciting and interesting stuff only to have someone sneak up behind you before you have even had a chance to look at the first thing rubbing his hands and saying OOOOOooooo yes sir this is a lovely Victorian Lemur hat stand and then saying things like Well yes sir the lemur is a BIT MOTH eaten but it’s eyes do follow you round the room….  As it happens a hat stand that has eyes that follow you round a room is not a strong selling point, nor is, I suspect is a group of Manky Stuffed Juggling Lemurs with a lingering look suggesting they may wish to hold your hat . . . .(or return to the jungle)

As many of you know the School Mascot is The Goat, which enjoys nothing more that being catapulted into the out of town supermarket for a bit of a run about in the fresh veggies before it escapes one way or another and returns to school well fed and perky after an exciting trip out.  However over the last couple of years many of you have been sceptical that a goat once catapulted in through the skylight of a huge supermarket could evade capture, escape and return back to the school without arousing suspicion. Well while listening to the wireless this morning I heard an article that stated Goats have been found to be far more intelligent that first thought. This I feel shows the world of Knowledge, Wisdom and Science that it needs to buck its ideas up pronto and read my blog more, the sooner the nice Mr Steven Spielberg makes the block buster movie the better for mankind is what I would say, well I would if it was not for the fact I am rather a modest genius who likes to keep his light under a bushel (I know it’s the English language, it is full of silly sayings).

I have also discovered that introducing a large lizard as a random element while working on the mathematics of Chaos Theories in the maths class causes chaos. The mathematics teacher did say that as a practical example of how The Chaos Theory works it was extremely good, but as an aid to a theoretic discussion of the mathematical principles involved in Chaos Theory it was rubbish, and a large group of screaming girls has fused his hearing aid.    

the Random Apple Tower experiment, the Universe and no Hamsters

As you all know I am a part-time student teacher and one of my specialist subjects is OIT Obscure Irrational Theories mainly the big ones relating to the universe, not small ones devoted to why hamsters run in small wheels. . . . . . AH as it happens that is one of the big ones but not today’s story, although the more science minded of you will see the link straight away.

Anyway today’s lesson was my first practical on OIT and I was trying to explain why galaxies spiral, much like water spirals down the plug hole. You see a spinning galaxy is in fact a huge gyroscope, and like a gyroscope, if you put it on top of a pointy stick at right angles rather than fall off the pointy stick the gravitational forces are moved to the pivot point and the gyroscope will start to rotate round the pivot. (OK I know some of you are saying WHAT?)  As you may guess some of my students got a bit confused, so I used the Random Apple Tower experiment to show them what was happening.  OK yes I know some of you have never done the Random Apple Tower Experiment (The RAT Experiment) have you (education these days it’s terrible… Hang on I’m a student teacher)

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Anyway what you need is a selection of random apples from an apple tree; say anything from ten to about fifty and you have to make a tower. It is a well known fact that after a maximum of five apples the tower will fall over, the interesting point is no matter which apples or which combination you choose the tower will never get higher than five apples. Well if you cheat by using super glue or small skewers or use modern GM apples then it will but in nature the universe is the universe and cheating is not an option.  After many hours the class tried and failed to improve on a tower of five apples until Esmeralda got bored and turned the whole lot into toffee apples and the class ate the universe.

However it proved the point I needed to make about why galaxies spiral although I must admit some of the class still looked a little perplexed, so I told them to try the experiment at home and get their parents to explain it.   

The Spy and the Great Diving Beetle.

Today proved to be a funny old day as my plans did not go to plan. I started by dismantling a bed, a useful skill that can come in extremely handy if you ever need to dismantle a bed, and if all goes well I will work out how to put it together again very soon. I also had to paint the edges of the box of sea a bit because the sea moves; I am getting round this problem by making sea doors to keep the sea confined so that should sort that out.

Then we had a trip to the Coy People of the Din Ash who sell folk stuff; the great leader of the Coy People of the Din Ash is a man called Charlie who no one ever sees any more for various reasons, well just the one really. Anyway we bought a pond and a drain cover and a small palm thing, some milk and a huge chocolate cake . . . . . DAMN we did not buy a huge chocolate cake.

Then this afternoon Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian Spy came to see us, she is on a secret mission at the end of the week in a creek I think, where it is very hot and the creek is full of Octopus and other strange beasts which she says she may be forces to eat. Interestingly Miss Fionaski might be happy to fight huge Octopus, but she does not like Wasps in fact she said if she was tortured with a wasp she would tell all straight away. Although she did insist I did not tell anyone . . . . . . . AH DAMN. And she passed on a small unmarked package for the Ghost Writer which apparently is also a secret . . . . . . DAMN again…..

What was really strange was that as she was about to drive off back to base a Great Diving Beetle fell onto her car, I have to say that was very strange, sometimes real life can be as weird as  the world of Rob which is good to know. I saved the Great Diving Beetle and put it in the pond so it is OK as they don’t really live on cars too well.

Tomorrow it appears I will be with the Ghost Writer acting as his bodyguard in his new and as yet untested (by him) office. He is not good with things changing and he does not have his own desk anymore.

Ooooooooooo apparently it is not creek it is Crete…….almost the same thing.  

The May Bug and decimal currency

I had a thought last night, I thought hang on its May what happens in May in the UK, what strange creature can cause the meandering masses to scream and flap about in a frenzied madness unseen since the January sales of 1972 when Harrods put the decimal point in the wrong place due to an error caused by unfamiliar use of a strange new currency based on 10. What fool thought that idea up what was wrong with 12 pence in a shilling and 20 shilling in a pound and one pound and a shilling was a guinea and a pony would buy a top class meal in the Ritz and cover the tip, these days the pony is the meal.

Sorry a distraction I was about to discuss the beast, the creature of the night that can turn a man, although to be fair mainly women to gibbering IDIOTS hiding under a duvet in the bath screaming “get it away from me the evil beast of evil as sent by the evil one to ruin spring”.  I am myself an old friend of these beasts and I have had many a happy night sitting round the campfire with these creatures as they fly about crashing into trees, walls, cows, rocks, seagulls or any other obvious large obstruction that any other beast would avoid with ease.  You see these fearsome creatures of death are the world’s worst aviators and could not fly in a straight line even if they where travelling first class on Concord, super glued into their seats.

I suspect most of you will by now be well aware of what beast we are talking about . . . . . ..  Yes it is the famous May Bug of Britain a creature that evolution predicts should have become extinct 500 million years ago due to total incompetence and a lack of efficiency that equals that of a dauphin (sorry dolphin) on a unicycle wearing a blindfold. 

Talking of which the Ghost Writer has been at his office today and all is not well it appears due to all this fangled decimal currency which apparently still confuses the accountant, so much so that he has found himself in a luxury hotel in a tax haven (the accountant not the Ghost Writer). He has left a letter saying he was hoping for a lottery win but  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN, it did not work out quite as planned.

The Ghost Writer is his usual gibbering self after a day as the world’s greatest IT guru although his office may be getting smaller very soon due to unforeseen circumstances as a result of decimal based money rather than proper money.  His one glimmer of hope is that if no one is about to use the computers they will not need fixing…….

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The Evolution of Fudge, Fish and other Critters

There is good and bad today, the good is that Miss I and Mr S called by with a chocolate bunny for us to eat, good for us bad for a chocolate bunny. At the time I was just about finished weeding part of the garden with a pickaxe; that might seem a bit extreme against the humble buttercup, but these are mutant buttercups and they eat all sorts of stuff from small fish to fudge and most things in-between. Interestingly genetically, if you look at the DNA of fish and Fudge you find that fish are higher up the evolutionary ladder than fudge and yet we are told that life started in the sea.  I asked the dog about this but he said “evolution is all a bit of a fudge” and then fell about in hysterics on the kitchen floor, I am assuming he might mean all life originated from fudge. It is certainly a thought to chew over next time you are in the sweetie shop.

Sorry what was I saying AH yes good and bad, the bad is the clocks in the UK all shift forward an hour tonight meaning I loose an hour in bed, I have looked in my bed for the missing hour many times but so far without any luck HAH HAHAHH HAH Hah ah hah ah hah ahhah hahh hah ah hah ahh ahah hahah  . . . . . . Mum just said IDIOT.

And it was sunny today but cold so I spent much of the day hiding clocks in what I am told is a futile effort to stop time. If only I had a pound for ever time someone has said that to me I would have about a pound (well 50p). HAH HAHHAH HAHH hah ahh ah hahahh hah hah DAMN mum has said IDIOT again……

OK that’s it for tonight I am off to chill and do stuff near a warm fire as it is chilly.

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Computers are the new Sofas and Zombie Woodlice

Had it not been for the fact I looked out of the window late last night and saw snow; this morning would have been a serious shock to the system, it was still a bit of a shock to see us back in the middle of winter with a vengeance. But the day got even odder as it progressed because round about lunch time the sun was out and it was actually quite warm outside and there was snow on the ground, although the snow was melting rapidly. By five o’clock everything was green again and you would have assumed it had been a lovely spring day, all I can say is it was all very odd, and I don’t think dad was using his Weather Machine either.

As a result of the confused weather I don’t appear to have done much I sort of fitted a shelf back where it was fitted before, I say sort off because it is all a bit iffy and it is still a bit iffy but the space to work on it is limited. And it appears that cats are rubbish at DIY and using a screwdriver, I’m sure mankind must have domesticated cats for a reason it cant just be to run about giving them food when they make lots of noise and sink their claws into you. Dogs at least understand Latin (useful as this new Pope seems to use loads of it) and can do mathematics, plus robotics and chainsaw juggling.  Cats even demand you cut a hole in your back door to put a cat flap in and then refuse to use it and expect doors opened on demand (like the food). 

   

I got distracted again sorry about that. . . . . . I did a small tiny bit of painting too and I poked about inside a computer and found one penny from 2008. I have now found money in three different computers but not enough to make it worth dismantling all the computers in the world.  Maybe old computers will become the new old sofas. Back in the past when sofas were made properly they had spaces designed into them for things to get lost in, and it was traditional when you visited granny to stick your hand into all the spaces and grovel about looking for gold and uncle Arthurs Rolex or the missing budgerigar from 1953, because granny thought she heard it the day before.  You don’t get sofas like grannies sofa anymore the modern ones don’t have secret voids for things to hide in for decades and sadly the modern sofa does not last as well as the old ones. Our old sofa was WELL COOL it had a huge colony of woodlice living in it, well I say living they were generally dead but what was weird it that they  would all get sucked up in the vacuum cleaner but six months later it would have another huge colony of woodlice who were sort of dead.  I wonder if they were Zombie woodlice WOW that really is WELL COOL  . . . . . . . . . .DAMN that sofa went to the big furniture store in the sky (sorry I mean skip).

AH I might have got side tracked a bit again there and I didn’t get to mention the huge monster snappy thing with big teeth and lots of legs , , , , , ,DAMN.

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Banksy and the Ferret in the Dark

 Yesterday I sort of wrote YA SUCKS BO we are all sunny and warm and everyone else is in the cold autumn mist, well that was a mistake because today it is cold dark and wet and has felt like mid winter all day. I can tell it has been a bad day from the solar panels on the house, yesterday they produced 15 kilowatts and today they produced a total of 950 watts, so not even one kilowatt. I think that is the worst figure so far. I will say though that overall the solar panels are jolly good they just don’t like days when it is dark even at midday.

Another not so good event today was a trip to the dentist, last time we got rained off when it rained so much it flooded the road, and although it was raining again the roads did not flood. I wonder if there is a connection between going to the dentist and rain, maybe I should stop going to the dentist then it might be permanently sunny although I guess in the end all my teeth would fall out. So is rain and teeth better than sun and no teeth, I am not sure.

At school we all sulked and shone torches at our text books because the headmaster is on an economy drive to save money, and today was too dark to read anything without a torch. I always have one handy in case the end of the world should suddenly turn up, lets face it you cant really predict these things that well unless you are the dog who says it will be 6:30 the first Friday of June next year. Esmeralda luckily has a clip on interchangeable torch attachment, so she was fine also and Freddie’s Ferret can see in the dark so was able to assist Freddie a bit, although the ferret is rubbish at maths so was of limited help. As for the rest of the class there was a lot of falling over chairs and shouts of I’M LOST AT THE BACK OF THE CLASS . . . . . . . . HELP.

The economy drive by the headmaster by the way, is so he can save enough money to clad the front of the school in a new iconic stainless steel façade in keeping with the schools new academy status, rather that low grade breeze block. With the words We love ferrets in huge letters sprayed on in red paint. Which was done by an unknown person a few months ago; it is signed Banksy but I am not sure Banksy likes ferrets much but I know someone who does.

Anyway it is well dark and it is now even 6.00pm yet so I think I will declare that Britain has officially reached Winter, and I am off to eat the second half of my rather delicious Indian takeaway from Montgomery.

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James Bond and the Toad, a Glider and the Paralympics.

As many of you know my diary is written as a manuscript for that very nice Steven Spielberg to read and go Oooooooooooo that would make a good movie, admittedly a rather long movie these days (or alternatively Quick get an injunction that Rob Z Tobor is sending me that bloody manuscript again).  Book One started on the 15^th August 2010 and finished on 4^th Sep 2011 and ran to 161,000 words. Book Two started on the 5^th Sep 2011 and will end in the first week of Sep 2012 and is presently 148, 000 words long.  So I have been writing this for two years now. My plan was too outlive that silly Harry Potter but to do that I will need to be pottering about (pottering …..HAH HAHAHH HAHH hahhah hah ah hah ah hah hah ahh ah hahah hhah ahhah hah ) for about four more years so that will be about 1,000,000 words in total.

I am not sure what Mr Steven Spielberg is going to say if he ends up with the whole 1,000,000 words in one go, it might break his desk, especially if it is all on posh paper (I insist on posh paper). Anyway it is good to know I have officially passed 300,000 words now. This does not include all the comments of my colleagues in cyberspace in my various outlets; that would add at least another 50,000 words to it….. and you would all want your cut of the royalties (that’s nothing so far so PHEW?)

OK right back to today……….. So today I found a toad he was only a small toad and did not respond to a single command and refused to talk to me or the dog, he just looked at us in a sort of toad way. Then we saw a glider being towed by a small plane, the people in the glider do not respond to us either they just looked at us in a towed way too………. Towed Way Too, sounds like a villain in a Kung foo or Bond movie ‘So Mr Bond you will be put in the tank of toads and they will eat you alive HAH HAHHAH HAH HHAH HAH HHAH HAHH HAHAHHHAHHAH HAHH HHAHA hah hahh hah hah hah hah hahahh ha…….. Your glider has been toWed away HAH HAH ah hah hah hah hah hah hahh haha hah ha’

I also had yet another bonfire, as and when Mr Spielberg finally gets round to making the movie one thing in abundance will be large bonfires.

That reminds me four bonfires were lit last night for the Paralympics  on the four highest peaks of the UK in the rain, I don’t wish to rubbish the start but they were not the best of bonfires I wish they had told me I would have given them a real bonfire to get things going. I have also notice they only get silver Olympic torches not gold, now come that’s not fair.

I am looking forward to the Paralympics, lets face it is easy to run fast when you have all your limbs and they work properly, doing it with bits missing or crumpled takes real guts….  

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