Mrs Ghost Writer, a Mad Little Old Lady and Vampires

We went off to see Mrs. Ghost Writer again today; it really is amazing how visiting hospitals eats up time.  Anyway I said yesterday that it was hoped she would be heading home today but this was not the case as her temp was a bit on the high side, and because of the previous list of operations she has had the doctors are being cautious, which is good but not when you wish to get home.

On the bright side the mad little old lady next to Mrs Ghost Writer has been moved to another hospital to recover, I think she may have thought that if she groaned and shouted a lot she may get to stay on the ward. And her final shouts of my head is falling off and look my arm has turned into a small horse while attempting to impersonate a seagull thinking it was a sure sign of Bird flu, fell on deaf ears as she was wheeled away.  I was a little taken back by her final words as she vanished round the corner out of sight which were . . . . . . I know where you live and have got your telephone number now . . . . . Mrs Ghost Writer said AH  . . .DAMN, yes I was forced into a difficult position and she tricked me into telling her your number . . . . . . . . AH DAMN indeed. Luckily for reasons only known to her she thinks I’m a truck driver who works in the local old folks home, I was curious about this but declined from asking, as I felt I would probably get confused with the answer.

Now I have said that my life in cyberspace is all rather linked to the Ghost Writer and Mrs Ghost Writer and one of the very curious things about it at present is I am making my own meals. Yes I know that is very very curious indeed, but if does show one thing and this is for every action there is a reaction (yes a common saying), However the point is in life the reaction is not always the one you anticipate and things can easily go in directions you don’t plan, like cooking your own dinner. . . . I really wish more world leaders would take note of this, but they are foolish and never do and with them the consequences can be a right old mess with a Huge M.

Finally after drawing the doctors yesterday, I noticed that some of the nurses might be vampires, well this is only a small observation as a result of today’s drawing but I may wear some garlic tomorrow just in case. It would certainly explain why you can’t get a good steak in a hospital. . . . . .HAH HAH HA HAH HAH AH HAH HAH AH Hah h h hahah ah ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah

Mrs Ghost Writer and a Huddle of Doctors

We went off to the hospital this afternoon to see Mrs Ghost Writer and we set off early really early because at present parking at the hospital in the afternoon is next to almost impossible at certain times of day. They also have some sort of new parking system in place that folk don’t understand including us as the car park we were in appears not to have the new system in place leading to a mass of folk walking about like Zombies looking for the holy grail. Anyway Mrs Ghost Writer is a bit battered from her op due to the added complexities of previous operations but is recovering and looking forward to escaping, hopefully tomorrow.

 It was all a bit mad visiting today as several of the patients were trying to charge up ipads, kindles and various phones, but for reasons I really don’t know about they appear to managed to get all their chargers mixed up so half of them were complaining that their device was not working. Add to this the added factor that Mrs Ghost Writer is in a corner with a very strange mad little old lady next to her who shouts out in pain a lot, but it appears only when there are visitors or a passing doctor about. And who has mastered the ability to only get half way to the toilet before something really horrible happens, something so horrible I will not mention it here . . . . . No it is truly horrible.

Anyway as you may guess Mrs Ghost Writer is keen to get out as fast as possible which should happen tomorrow all being well, but just in case she is trying to talk some of the patients into digging a tunnel like in the old days when folk would be locked up in the Iron Lung as punishment if they were naughty.  In order to help persuade the patients to assist I drew a picture of a Huddle of Doctors lurking round the corner with sharp pointy things; no one likes to see a Huddle of Doctors at the best of times so when they are all holding sharp pointy stuff . . . . . .  Well if anything will encourage folk to dig tunnels then that should do it……..

The Ghost Writer and the Chaos of Life in a Real Universe

Many of you might have been thinking . . . . . HANG ON where has that Rob Z Tobor chap vanished off too, it is not like him . . . . .  And true enough it is not like me to vanish from the dark voids of cyberspace without warning, however as with all things in the universe, all things are linked in some way. In my case things are rather closely linked the fortunes of the Ghost Writer, when I say fortunes I refer more to the events of his life rather than a fortune as in money terms as he is a penniless shambolic waster.  Anyway the point is, if all is a bit chaotic for the Ghost Writer then all is chaotic inside the strange alternate universe of Rob Z Tobor, it is the way things are.

You see Mrs Ghost Writer the wife of the Ghost Writer (a deduction I suspect you can work out yourself) was whisked off to hospital on Friday morning after a couple of days of rather extreme pain with  acute Appendicitis. They then operated on her on Saturday, I think the plan was to do the op on Friday but due to a little flurry of emergencies the operating schedule sort of got scrambled.  To add to the complexity of this was the fact that the Ghost Writer has had major car problems which got more complicated when  the Ghost Writers car made a huge bang only a couple of miles from the garage as he was driving it home having been repaired. Luckily this was not as bad in the end as it appeared and the main result is a very noisy indicator, however the original fault occurred on the Saturday while he planned to visit Mrs Ghost Writer so he used our car instead.  Unfortunately it had a major power steering fault at the hospital and the Ghost Writer had a bit of a fight to get the car and himself and Mr F home.  Not helped by power steering fluid dripping onto the front tyres making the car a bit scary to keep in a straight line.

Luckily Mr F had already planned to arrive up on Friday so as he arrived to see Mr and Mrs Ghost Writer on Friday morning they were able to say . . . . . See you later Mr F we are off to the hospital . . . .  As I have already mentioned the Ghost Writer is a penniless shambolic waster and to that we can also add scatty forgetful and disorganised, so Mr F being about I’m sure was rather helpful.

So why have I managed to return tonight, well you see Mrs Ghost Writer is recovering and all being well will be home tomorrow, Mrs Ghost Writer has had a lot of operations over the last thirty years so there were slight complexities to the op, but all looks good at present. So the Ghost Writer is a bit more chilled. Mr F has now headed home as he has many things to do himself. And at least one car appears to be sort of working almost allowing the Ghost Writer to get about.

In turn it now means I have a small window in the chaos of daily life to sit and write my diary, It has all been a little more complex (that’s Life), than we would all want it and that means free time has been minimal. Diaries strangely never get written when loads and loads of stuff is happening due to a lack of time, ironically the very time you need to write a diary to keep track of stuff.

Mind you I don’t think anyone has really noticed I was gone . . . . . the nice Mr Steven Spielberg will not be impressed by that, I will have to reduce my fee again . . . . . DAMN

The World of Friends, Rock Stars and Mr M

It has been a mixed day of events that started with the very sad news that Mr M had slipped into a coma in the night, although we have been assured that he is not in any pain. He is still hanging in there but sadly it is a case of insuring he is not suffering and can maintain his dignity.

Anyway we also had visitors for lunch in the form of Mr Ian the Musical Hat Maker, Auntie Karen, Mr Charlie and Miss Jane, it has been a long time since we have seen them and it was good to return to some normality for a few hours. Mr Ian the Musical Hat Maker is a man full of interesting tales from his past in the music industry as a rather modest and always friendly rock star, both as a solo artist and writer, and as a member of Brinsley Schwarz. And he told us all about folk like Paul McCartney and what he got up to when they were on the same tour in the USA, and of the time he found himself standing right in the middle of a police stand off in Nashville by accident when an armed gang were robbing a book shop.  I wonder if the police got to read them their rights HA HAHAH HAH AH HAH HAha hah ha hah hah ah hah ahha ha hah ha ha ha. 

Mr Charlie and myself went out and peered at a strimmer for a while and removed bits and nodded in a knowing way and pointed at things before we returned to eat loads of good food and continue to chat of many things including the advantages and disadvantages of using two fire guards.

Then after they all ventured home, we headed off to see Mr M and chat to him, it is always important to chat to folk even if they are in a coma because almost the last thing to stop working in the human body is hearing, so even if folk cant respond by say poking you with a pointy stick, they will know what you said.  We then returned home and ate more food and moved a fire guard a bit.

I hope this continues to make sense as it is getting late and I am getting tired ………..

The shape of hospital cardboard and the face of Halloween and other stuff

The Big Storm has vanished off into Europe although there is little news of it now here in the UK, I feel over here is was a bit over hyped and so has vanished off the national news already. However my mind was focused on the more worrying thought of the dentist when I woke up this morning. Which was made even more scary by the news when we arrived at the dentist that our trusty family dentist of almost thirty five years has retired and run off. This was not welcome news and we did point out that turning up to see your faithful trusted dentist is one thing, but to arrive and be told Oooooo he has run off you will be see a totally new chap is as the old saying goes NOT CRICKET. Yes it is one of those saying again that makes no sense as it is plainly clear cricket and the dentist are not the same thing, even if both involve bats and drills.

I have to say my computers spell checker is very annoying tonight as it keeps informing me that my use of punctuation and comprehension is quite frankly rubbish, I have tried to point out that in fact this is part of the character of my diary, but it does not seen to comprehend that concept (a bit ironic if you ask me . . . .AH you did not).

This afternoon we ventured back into town to see Mr M who was looking a bit weaker today and was tired. He had a selection of cardboard things which as we know allow patients to do things like wee, poo and be sick in, or throw at seagulls should they venture in. So to cheer Mr M up I drew a whole selection of Halloween characters on these, as it happens the pee pots make brilliant heads and you can draw a smiley face on one side and a growling face on the other. I do have one useful tip to anyone else planning on doing this to cheer folk up in hospital, it is best to check all the various cardboard items before you turn them upside down to draw on them. . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN.

All our trips out today have been conducted in a very very hot car, you see dad said that we need to dry out the inside of the car after yesterdays leaking sun roof incident in order to stop the car windscreen steaming up with condensation.  The car does have a very good heater and the car is almost dry again but it was hot in there for a while . . . . .PHEW.

As you can tell I am now home again and need to go and draw a quick picture for tonight’s diary entry, I will give myself half an hour and see what I come up with as a little challenge.

PHEW . . . . . . . . . .DONE

Vegetarians, sheep, sausages and hard places with rocks

Today I have not done a great deal; I am getting to be quite an expert in the noble art of not doing a great deal. Mrs E formally known as Miss I has leapt into action to help Mr M who has been trapped between a hard place (his hospital Bed) and a rock (a pile of rocks in the hospital car park). Luckily though Mr M is being moved from one hospital to another as I type where he will have time to sort things out a bit more, and luckily Mrs E formally known as Miss I was on hand to help pack Mr M’s bag and make sure he was OK for the big move. He will be much nearer his house making things a bit easier for folk to go and see him.

Both Mr M and Mrs E formally known as Miss I are vegetarians as are other folk I know, and our good friend Mr F as come up for the weekend who also has a very healthy diet. So I have had to try and defend the diet of the unhealthy almost single handed today in conversations about food.  As it happens some people have rather odd concepts about who is a vegetarian, all the folk I know are real vegetarians, but I have heard of many vegetarians who eat fish or even chicken and I recently heard of one who ate lamb. This was a new one to me as lamb is hard to justify as vegetarian on most levels, it is after all meat from a beast with four legs that runs about in a field, fish are sometimes eaten on the grounds they don’t have legs or fur and chickens on the grounds they only have half the number of legs of real animals like sheep. But a lamb is a sheep and I rather like lamb so I reckon if lamb is vegetarian then I eat a healthy diet after all as I don’t eat beef, I cant risk the chance of the cows that surround our house finding out because cows are quite big. Although we have chickens living next door also, chickens are smaller and just a bit stupid so I can eat them and they wont know, as it happens I cant eat the chickens next door as the are all rare breed chickens and a bit pricey to eat.

Anyway as I said right at the start I really have not done a thing today and have nothing what so ever to write about; so rather that write a whole load of stuff about stuff of absolutely no interest to man nor beast, like say food and folk who don’t eat beasts I better go . . . . . . . . .AH DAMN  

Sausages for tea . . . . YUM  

The unseen problems of things you cant see.

I guess that some of you are wondering if I (Rob Z Tobor) am still a part-time teacher of Zombie Defence Classes  and the like, in the strange cyber-academy of cyberspace.

Yes

And you are wondering if Esmeralda is still there and whether she snapped my trusty pointy stick in half in a fit of rage.

Yes

And you might even be wondering if I fixed it with some handy electrical tape that was not really doing a lot.

Yes

And now you are wondering if the fact there was an electrical short circuit in the science blog resulting in an entire blackout in school meaning that teaching science was very difficult indeed resulting in everyone being sent home early

Yes

Have you noticed just how dependent on electricity we are, it is a bit of a worry really and also rather odd, because the entire Earth has become dependent on something we can’t see. Well that is not entirely true we do get to see lightning but the problem with lightning is it not the easiest stuff to use constructively. Dads lightning powered electric car was not a great success even if it did do one of the fastest zero to sixty miles an hour ever recorded, but it would have been even more impressive if dad had been in it at the time. As dad says the problem with lightning is it unpredictable and you can’t park the lightning powered electric car in the same place twice for reasons that are plainly clear to all who know the famous old saying. And dads assistant mechanic Scotty, after investigating the engine did make the point that the engine will nay take it Captain.

I have just been outside as I saw a message in cyberspace saying the moon was like really looking really cool; only over here it is hiding behind a huge cloud, possibly created by an overheated lightning powered electric car.

We also got to see Mr M today and his son Mr S, it appears Mr M is still trapped between hospital and no place to go…. He thinks the hospital might write to him in hospital to ask when he is able to leave hospital; although he is still not allowed home so it is all a bit of a game sorting out something suitable. As for as we can tell most of the suitable places have already been taken over by little old ladies with white hair who have a habit of stopping strangers in the street and shouting at them I remember when we never had electricity and now you see it everywhere. I once tried to explain to a group of little old ladies you can’t see electricity but they hit me with umbrellas and then demanded electrical tape to fix them. 

Hospitals, Peacocks and Mr M

Today turned into two hospital trips, the first of which was to look at knees on a fancy machine, it was interesting as there was a peacock striding about guarding the main entrance. It seems that peacocks are moving into hospital security and are undercutting the opposition by working for almost nothing scratching out a living as and where they can, although eating the slower patients has got the odd one into trouble. Then when we arrived in the main X ray department they were practicing (the x ray folk not the peacocks) on a small and rather bouncy dog which was somewhat a surprise.  But apparently Elvis was not a rather well known singer who has been living on the moon for some time but a small hound dog; and nothing but a hound dog. . . . HAHAHH HAH hah ah ha haha h ha hha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ha 

Anyway after we left this hospital we then went off to see Mr M at another hospital and managed to scrap a meal together by hunting under the car seats for leftovers from bygone trips into the unknown. This was because we were very early but due to a time and distance paradox going elsewhere was to put it bluntly futile….. We did have some hospital tea which was OK which was a shock although we were the only ones in the café and folk did look and shake their heads whispering things like don’t eat the pies, they might contain  . . . . . left-over bits… I quite like left over’s but not bits of left over Boris.

Mr M looked a bit better than we thought he might, and was quite chatty and rather explicit about certain things which I have added to my bucket list of things not to do before I die, one of which may involve a bucket. And Mr M was also a bit concerned about his feet, he was adamant that he only used to have the two and they were not those of a large eagle. And despite the advantages of catching small rodents, the disadvantage of ruining his socks and ripping all the sheets meant on the whole he would prefer his own feet back.

So we then made it back home just in time to decide we did not have time to do a great deal, so I have written my diary entry and armed myself with a pointy stick just in case a delirious patient from a hospital swoops down on me with his huge talons and tries to eat me after a long spell of hospital food…..