Sunsets in Scotland

As many of you will know because I did say I was going to be away along with the fact I have not been in the grand world of cyberspace in over a week . . . . Thus indicating that I have in fact not been here, but have been away. In fact I have been living in a wooden shed just a few feet from the sea about ten miles from the great metropolis of Inverness.  OK in world terms Inverness is not a great metropolis, but in terms of the North of Scotland it is.  Now many things happened (OK I lie) which I will tell of in the next couple of days assuming not much happens to interrupt the flow, such as the internet playing up seriously badly which it appears to have done since our return yesterday. I was told there was a huge storm locally and much lightning and huge bangs, so maybe that has caused the problems.

While away we obtained a treasure chest saw a pirate ship, fed a one legged Blackbird, found much sea-glass, went Ooooooooo at one of the most stunning sunsets I have ever seen. Did not see the famous dolphins of Inverness. Had a great meal in a place while driving. Went back and had another great meal later in the week. Bought a head from a man. Drew some pictures.  Pointed at snow on the mountains. Saw an oilrig and a jack-up. Went to a cheese shop that only sold Norwegian Cheese and was run by a Norwegian. Saw a huge cat called Ben who was huge. Tied a chair to a post as well as many other things along the way.

Of course how much of this adventure I tell will depend on whether I remember stuff, have time to write it all and the key factor, how much money Steven Spielberg will pay for the film rights to the story.

So that’s it I am off now having told you all very little indeed, but then my diary is a bit like that really in general, full of words which somehow avoid issues like England losing to Italy at football. I have added this because I only recently found out. Although I suspected as much as no one has mentioned it today

No it really looked like this at 11.00pm

Edgar Allan Poe vs Christmas . . . . A poem of Christmas cheer (AH. . .Well)

The Ravens as they headed home tonight in the sunset

Once upon a Christmas Eve dreary, while I pondered weak and weary.

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore’s.

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping.

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chambers doors.

'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, is it the curse of Santa Claws.

Marching severed hands oozing sweat from their pores.

The constant scratching and demonic clip clop of cloven hoofs on my slated roof.

A demonic Red Nosed Reindeer loosening roof slates by the Score.

And while I’m Knotting and neatly Wrapping presents, there is still a tapping.

It must be the curse of Santa Claws the cursed hoards rapping rapping at my chambers doors.

But what if it is a friendly visitor entreating entrance at my chambers doors.

Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas I can hear. It is the cursed multitude of SANTA CLAWS.

Shouting shouting out into the night.

Poe Poe Poe . . . .  Merry Christmas.

HA HAH HA HHAH HAH AH HAH HAH HAH AHhah ah ah ha ha aha ha ha haha hah ah ahah hahah ah ha ha ha hahah 

Thanks to Mr ESB for his comment last night which planted the seeds of an idea . . . 

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The Inside View of the Insect Societies

Insects as we all know are creatures of routine, trapped by nature too comply with the laws of the natural world. One of the best examples of the complex insect societies is the humble ant, but in order to understand the ant society it is best viewed close up, seriously close up. Yes we need to look into the ants nest at the passages the paths that these creatures take, the very reasoning behind why they do what they do as seen from the inside.

So as we always do at this time of year in our Natural History/Biology classes at school (the posh cyber-academy, as famous now in the world of fiction as Bert Drybolt) we went off on an exploratory field trip to visit the one place where it is possible to see what it is like to be an ant from the inside; to have to move about in a pre controlled order of passages and paths where the individual will be crushed and destroyed for disobeying the system.  The one place on Earth where the human mind can get a small glimpse into the world of the social insect and its strict protocol, where we shuffle round and round picking up small items and carrying them through the twists and turns of the ants nest with an intensity and desire only matched by an ant itself.  Forced into a set of decisions that make us leave the nest carrying these small items pondering why we are doing it.

We went to IKEA.

It was another cool sunset tonight but only for about one minute, but as it happened I just happen to be standing holding a camera at the right time, how cool is that. This is the sort of thing that makes man a man and an ant an ant, you see ants cant press the button on the camera hard enough for it to work and they strangely are not allowed into IKEA . . . . . . .HAH HAH H HAH HAH AH HAH AH HAH HA HAH HA HAH HA Hha haha hah hah ha ha ha   Ha ha ha hah hah ahh ha ha ha ……

The Guitar and the Sunset

I am in a bit of a rush tonight I have been searching the wondrous world of cyberspace for information on Mr M’s old Guild guitar a single pick up CE 100 which seems to date from 1960 although the tail piece seems to be from an earlier time and looks classic 1956.  Old guitars to some folk are like steam trains or old motorbikes or rare books or stamps, mind you most of the folk such things appeal too are in general men and quite often men of a certain age who like to potter about with other men of the same age looking at these things and going OOOOOOOo that is a humbucking pickup from the old New York workshop made by Mr Smith or even his dad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Or OOOOOooo look a condensing double level braking cylinder screw mechanism.

Anyway we popped up to Mr M’s house to ensure all is OK which it is or at least we think it is as far as we can tell considering there is piles of stuff and several rusting dead cars and large holes in the ground.  It would be an ideal place for a classic Zombie movie although getting a film crew and a load of Zombies up the hill would be far from easy……….

Right I must go as it is getting later than I planned to be writing my diary, but before I go I must say WOW that was some sunset tonight I went out to take a picture and there were other folk doing the same, a clear sign that it must have been jolly good, normally it is just me pointing camera’s at the sky (and pointy sticks). 

Summer, sunsets, drumming and alien spacecraft

Today has been hot and sunny and rumour has it, it will remain hot and sunny here for at least the following week. One thing I do know about weather is like myself only the other day, weather likes to maintain a state of equilibrium so the good weather here means that there has been some terrible weather elsewhere, I believe in central Europe, I have been busy so have not yet seen a news.  However both myself and the Ghost Write found ourselves trapped the wrong side of glass rooms that were rather hot, the Ghost Writer battling the demons of IT, breaking down the gates of a laptop that was determined that no one shall pass. But the Ghost writer showed no mercy and wiped the mind of the laptop tuning it into a docile puppy eager to please.

I on the other hand was doing mathematics working on the algebraic equations for the flight of seagulls, all was well until Esmeralda got bored and decided that a cookery class was more fun, so we all had seagull risotto for lunch which was well yummy.

Anyway tonight myself and my drumming colleague sat on the patio and drummed the sunset in (I note I got a photo of three alien spacecraft heading towards the woods), while a load a mayflies and a dragonfly flew about and a frog ate a large wasp. I was a bit worried about the frog, wasp stings are not nice so swallowing a live wasp and a large one at that seemed foolish, but I think frogs eat first think second, much like Freddie’s ferret who spent the afternoon trying to swallow a large seagulls head.

I am now drinking tea eating Prawn crackers (as you do) and writing this, I know by the time you read it I will have eaten all the crackers finished my tea and will be chilling as it has been a long long day and I need to spend a small bit of it doing nothing…..   

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The twelfth day of the twelfth month of 2012, the Montgolfier brothers and a rather nice curry

It is the 12^th of the 12^th of 2012 or 12-12-12 today (not as good as 12-12-1212 but I missed that date) which will not happen again for a very long time. As it happens I think it will if I remember correctly Ethiopia is eight years behind the rest of the world, I am not sure why and I have not checked to ensure I am correct because it is very very cold. But I am going to assume I am right because I am right almost every time I am not wrong, and I am only wrong when I am not right.  In other words it will not be 12-12-12 again for eight years. Next year we will have 11-12-13 (well not if you are in America because for some silly reason they do their dates wrong)…..

The Sun was rubbish today and looked a bit like one of these low energy light bulbs, it even generated about the same amount of heat as a low energy light bulb, I just hope that the End of the World is not going to be an eco friendly End of the World that would be a disaster.

In an effort to warm ourselves up we are going to descend on the Montgomery Indian Restaurant and meet up with friends, when I say descend I really mean we are going to walk in the front door like everyone else, it is one of those silly sayings which came about from the early days of hot air ballooning when the Montgolfier Brothers would say to their pals see you for dinner. They would then leap into their hot air balloon and vanish off in totally the wrong direction landing on the roof of some poor unsuspecting family and say to them we thought we would just drop in for dinner, the resulting conversation would then descend into a fight because the Montgolfier Brothers would always say the food was rubbish and what is for pud.

So that’s it I know I did stuff but it was cold and stuff I do when I am cold is not exciting and I am (that’s cold not exciting, although I am exciting) I am not as good at typing either so enough is enough, another little phrase that goes back to the days of the Montgolfier Brothers when the family finally thought it was time to throw the balloonists out on their ears. Yes, yet another ballooning term, those early hot air balloon baskets looked just like ears .. . . . . . .The END

Last one to eat a curry is a sissy AH HHAH HAH ah hah ahah ahahahaha haha hahahahahh aha hah ahaha hahh hah 

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The sun never sets on the British Empire ....... Much.

There is an old saying ‘The sun never sets on the British Empire’, this is not the original saying it was changed a long time ago for very good reasons but to no avail. As we all know today is the 4^th July or Independence day in the USA, the day us British thought to ourselves you can have just too many McDonald's and KFC’s; OK then, off you go but no victimizing those nice Red Indians or Buffalo.  And no shooting rockets at the moon either.

Up to that point the British Empire had been huge almost every country in the world, ok not really Canada they were always a bit French and not Tibet, their leader was a Llama  and they say Mmmmmmmmm a lot so us British thought we would leave them alone.  

Then with time every country left saying “YAH SUSKS BOO we don’t like YOU” leaving just Britain and Australia, and the Australians only stay so they can beat us at cricket and because they know the Queen is too old now to go there.

This brings us back to today and that old saying ‘The sun never sets on the British Empire’ you see the original saying was ‘The rain never stops in the British Empire’. But you see that saying is as valid today as it was way back; only the British Empire really only consists of Britain so it now means that somewhere in Britain is always wet. So to commemorate Independence Day, the 4th July it has rained almost all day here, so all I can say is….. Happy Birthday America, but would you like some rain we have loads.  Changing the saying to ‘The sun never sets on the British Empire’ was a foolish attempt to improve the weather in Britain by the powers that be…

On a different subject I have sawn some wood, drilled some holes and painted some wall, I had thought I was doing a great job of DIY until the headmaster said he did not want his desk cut in half, a three foot hole in the wall and what wall was left painted bright pink. I did explain that a man and a woman outside his office told me that it needed doing, but apparently they were George’s parents (from class 13TA) who was eaten by the goat the other day.  Still it is almost the summer holidays so the headmaster can get a man in to paint his office grey again if he wants but I have told him the Ghost Writer will not approve.

Ooooooo and we picked our first raspberries today despite the rain.

There may be a few errors in my history of events but they are minor and have no overall effect on the outcome (it is still raining).....

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Never play Paper, Scissors, Stone when it is raining

We were all a bit tired this morning because I was coughing rather a lot last night as a result of the head cold, which all us blokes think is probably man flu. Yes I’m sure it must be man flu. However we were sort of pottering about not doing a lot first thing when a big Fox went slinking past the house looking Mischievous and wet. It was raining rather heavily most of the day.   

After the fox vanished the day started as a rather quiet day, of rummaging in the odd box that has still to be completely emptied (No; still no jumpers), there is a lot of stuff, I think we are running out of shelving again. Then it became clear the front guttering was blocked so we played paper, scissors, stone and I lost so I had to go up the ladder and clear it. As we now live in a bungalow it was dead easy although I got very wet. Then we discovered that with the guttering working correctly the front flower beds filled with water and became ponds. So we played paper, scissors, stone and I lost, so I had to go out and make a channel through the hedge so all the water could head down hill into the fabled Minor Stream of Inconsequence. So I had to stick my head and most of me in the hedge to do it, so I got very wet and covered in hedge. Then just as I finished, and all the water was heading where the water should head, sort of towards the sea, the sun came out. Well that is typical get totally soaked twice then when I don’t need to go out it is sunny, but I did get some photos of what was a well cool sunset. I know it may not sound that exciting but we didn’t get these in Monty because of being so close to the castle hill.