An Apology to J K Rowling, A Seagull and no Poetry

Well I have been on Twitter defending my old mate J K Rowling, OK when I say old that is a bit unfair as she is younger than I am, and I am the Slightly Eccentric Child of Cyberspace, so Miss Rowling is well young I guess.  And I say mate well that is not entirely true as I think secretly she is not a great fan of my poetry and thinks of me as one of the Vogons now, and sort of looks the other way going OOOOOOOoooo look a seagull. To tell the truth it is an understandable thing to do as a celeb.  Celebs tend to get followed by all sorts of nutters, I would like to make it clear I am not a nutter. . . . OK a bit mad but actually rather normal even if when I tell my family I'm normal they all laugh and fall about pointing.

Still the point is while doing my bit to defend her (like one of those knights from the old days) because she lives in Scotland and went to the Rugby match where she had a posh seat in a good spot which then upset someone who is a pro-independence supporter. I sort of have run out of time to write stuff so am repeating my own Yes campaign post.

I really cant understand how having a go at J K Rowing helps those who would like to see Scotland become independent. If anything it makes us look like a wild bunch of marauding mad men who are out of control running about in kilts and shouting at anyone who passes . . . . . . . . AH OK   . . . . DAMN


Anyway Sorry about a few of My fellow Scotsmen Miss Rowling 


And here is my old Post showing why Scotland should be Independent


It is rather interesting that in the great debate on Scottish independence, to date no one has asked me my opinion on the Scottish referendum debate. Some of you will be thinking why should Rob Z Tobor get involved in the first place, what can some mad bloke living on the English Welsh border add to the debate that has not been discussed so far.

Well you see as my loyal, slightly quirky, but rather intelligent regular followers will know I often look at things in a slightly different way to the masses and so can help persuade a few people to consider how they finally vote when we get to crunch time on the 18^th September. There are all sorts of issues involved in this, and at present a certain amount of mud slinging and scare tactics being used by both sides. This is not the way forward, although I may add some to my argument in order to liven it up a bit, after all David Cameron and Alex Salmond are not the most inspiring folk to watch or listen too,  although maybe Mr Salmond has the edge slightly on banter.

So where do I stand and why, well I am a pro independence person because my family have come from the wilds of Scotland since before Bruce Lee, sorry Robert the Bruce was knee high to a spider. In fact the old ancestral blood goes back to a time when we were wild men in the hills fighting everyone including each other and shouting ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME SONNY dishing out Glasgow kisses before Glasgow was Glasgow, and we all spoke in a strange dialect no one understood.  AH YES I see your point it may still be a bit like that on a Saturday night after a few wee chasers and deep fried haggis, chips and curry sauce. I always remember someone telling me that after a really good night out, he assumed it was good as he did not remember it, he woke up in the door way of R S McColl in Aberdeen in the morning with enough chip suppers to feed about twenty people, although by then they were cold and had sort of congealed into a single lump.  Still it made a hell of a breakfast, sort of the hair of the dog so to speak (I know more silly sayings).

OK back to the point you are keen to hear exactly why folk in Scotland should vote for independence, it is the financial or economic or commercial or political arguments that have made me think AH YES this is what Scotland should do . . . . . . . . Well NO who can really predict what would happen; the truth is no one with any certainty.

You see if Scotland says NO then the status quo will remain as it is now, nothing will change, we will still grumble about the weather, politicians being corrupt, the cost of a cup of tea and next doors Armadillo making holes in the lawn at night. To vote No is the easy safe choice the one to go for if you wish to see everything just carry on as it has for ages, the one that will let the powers that be just smile and be smug. However if Scotland says lets go for it Lets vote Yes, it will be a whole new adventure not just for Scotland but the entire UK, the UK even gets a new flag (WELL COOL). Imagine it . . . . all change for loads of things, flag makers will love it for one and then there will be all sorts of other stuff no one has thought of yet, it will be dead exciting all round, both in England and Scotland and it will be a monumental historical moment in British History something to remember and tell your neighbours cat about in years to come.

This is a one off opportunity something that will never happen again, a NO vote will seal Scotland’s fate forever as the hilly bit on the top of England where folk talk funny. A YES you see; I suspect in the future, if it sort of went wrong, would see the rest of UK saying . . . . . Why not come and join us again we will even let you keep your kilts and bagpipes and talk in a funny way about felling a bit peely-wally and even allow you to sing Flower of Scotland.

So vote YES or  . . . . . .  Ye aff yer heid . . . . ya Bampot Eeejits

I rest my case . . . . . . . .for now. 

A final Word from a YES Supporter of Scottish Independence....... then its back to Zombies again (tomorrow)

Well it appears that the Yes supporters lost, what can I say. . . . except damn damn damn damn damn damn dmandam ndmam ndman mdndm mnamd nnd n mand damn damn damn danm daamnananm mdan manndn mamdnamnamdma dndn mdn namm mdmdm n mdan damn damn dman mdan damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn dmandam ndmam ndman mdndm mnamd nnd n mand damn damn damn danm daamnananm mdan manndn mamdnamnamdma dndn mdn namm mdmdm n mdan damn damn dman mdan damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn. We was robbed

And all these promises made by the politicians in Westminster I suspect will vanish in a haze of Smoke and Mirrors as they say . . . Well of course it’s not that simple, what with the charter of 1735 and we need the support of Golden Elves found only in the high mountains of Tibet at dawn . . . . . . . . .

Still they tried (the Pro Independence voters); they held their pointy pencils high, put their cross on the ballet paper and ran screaming at the huge concrete wall of opportunity only to bounce off into the muddy hole of crushed dreams. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  For now, but folk need to remember the Motto of Scotland, after all we are used to supporting a football team that loses a lot. . .  “Nemo me impune lacessit”, or: "No one provokes me with impunity . . . . . . PAL “, and we have pointy sticks.

WE WILL BE BACK…..

The Truth Behind Scottish Independence finally revealed

Well as voting takes place I can finally reveal my cunning plan as it is now too late to stop it. You see me and my evil assistants, henchman Mr Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon (there is something a bit fishy about their names. . . . . HAH AHHAH AH aha hah ahah ha ahha ha hah a ha hah ah) have been working tirelessly for several years on our very own Flag Business. Everyone likes flags and here in Britain folk just can't resist a wave at a royal person or a parade or hanging them in Windows.

But we hatched a plan to make ourselves a small (a very big) fortune by persuading the people of Scotland to leave the UK resulting in the need for millions of new flags from big posh ones to cheap plastic ones for the massed masses of Crowds-R-Us to wave at Queens and the like.

Now some of you will be thinking well you wont make that much money flogging a few flags, well its not just a few there are millions of them because Australia, New Zealand,  Montserrat,  St. Helena & Dependencies and many many others have the Union Jack as part of their own flag . . . . . . . . . so we will be rich very rich . . .HAH HA HAH AH ha ha hah ah ah ha ha h ha ha hah ha hah ah ah ha hahah ah ha ha hah ah ah ahah ah ah . . . . Yes we have this flag market well and truly Stitched Up. . . . . . . ..  Stitched Up . HAH HA hah ah a haha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ah ahah ahah ha . . . . .

If our plan succeeds we plan to work for Chinese Independence which will mean the removal of the small print  . . . MADE in China. . .  from the corner of the Chinese flag.  If that cunning plan works we will be rich beyond are wildest dreams and we (OK I do) have some wild dreams indeed.

All we need to do now is get official approval for the new Union Jack design from the White House . . . sorry I mean Parliament.  . . . . . . . . AH DAMN I may have made a slight error in the design. 

Scottish Independence YES or NO a final comment

Tomorrow is vote day, the big day in Scotland when both sides will be doing their bit and hoping for the best. One important thing to remember though is that all Scotsmen like a bit of a party. If Scotland votes YES there will be a huge party with folk leaping about knowing that over the next couple of years it will be all change and into the great unknown. If Scotland votes NO there will be a party, but not as good because everything will stay the same. Folk don’t generally have parties when stuff stays the same. Its like children having a party because they are not leaving home, these seldom happen because it’s hard to party when your parents are crying in the dining room.

While pondering things, two interesting thoughts came to mind. . . .Let’s face it someone normally nicks my thought and says it’s theirs, the first I have mentioned in FB as a passing comment but I thought well that’s interesting what will happen with that. You see I thought as we plan to adopt the Queen and let England have Prince (King) Charles then we could keep the pound as it’s the Queens face on it. Then I thought HANG ON what about stamps whose stamps will we use, because that lot at Royal Mail use any excuse to put up the price of stamps. I bet they try and charge extra for delivery to Europe. However I have a solution Scotland can sell its own stamps cheaper than the English ones and sell them over the internet to the English so they can send letters and parcels cheaper using the Scottish stamps . . . .  Yet another problem solved and a good revenue generator.

This brings me to my second point; you see Scotland has the highest number of Inventors, Discoverers and Explorers per head of population of any country in the world by a huge margin.  So although Independence will see many problems to solve, we are in fact the ideal nation to solve them all. In fact you could argue that we are so good at inventing and discovering things that it would be folly not to vote YES just so we can Invent and Discover even more things.  Even I, down in Shropshire often discover things in muddy holes which I prod with pointy sticks, you don’t see the English doing this . . . . . OK that’s not entire true I can think of at least one English man who prods at stuff with a point stick but they are few and far between.

So remember tomorrow you can either vote YES for an exciting and unknown world of Inventors and discoveries with a Queen and slightly cheaper stamps. Or you can vote NO and keep things the same with David Cameron and Prince Charles, a world of slightly more expensive stamps and the kids never leave home.

You know what to do. . . . .

Scottish Independence . . Latest Poll (sorry pole) points to a surprise.

I was looking at the BBC News on the internet catching up with the world news and stuff and just happen to notice that it appears if Scotland becomes independent it will move the geographic centre (the balancing point) of the UK to just a few miles away. Well when I say a few I mean about 30-ish miles, well that is quite exciting, sort of, and it would be really good to be the middle of something. So I would like to propose that maybe the rest of the UK could give Scotland just enough of Northern England to make my house the exact centre.  I would then be able to erect a thing on a long pole with pointy bits that pointed at all the places around the UK saying things like the sea 200 miles or London 200 miles or Manchester 200 miles or Scotland 200 Miles or even France 200 miles or the USA 200 miles.  You will notice that everything would be exactly the same distance away, but that is one of the really cool things about being exactly in the middle of everything. Everything is exactly the same distance from you or you can’t be in the middle.

It is a little know fact that ancient man built Stonehenge in order that they would know where the middle was, it is why many stone circles are round as finding the middle of a round thing is far easier as the accent Britain’s did not have GPS or theodolites and survey equipment, they were far more dependant on the instincts of goats.

Anyway I would like to pledge right now that in the event of a YES vote for Scottish Independence and a small concession where the rest of the UK hand over a bit of the North of England, (A goodwill gesture). That I Rob Z Tobor will build a big tall pointy pole thing to point at places and let folk know everywhere is 200 miles away.  As always it is good to find the Middle Ground (the Balancing Point) as defined by the trained goats of the Ancient Britain’s. 

Scottish Independence (sorry I am doing my bit). . . Important Facts about Scotland.

It’s Sunday and I plan to bore you all silly once again with the great Scottish Independence YES NO vote due in just a few days. I know it’s terrible after nearly 300 years of little or no news about the strange goings on of the homeland, the damn place is all over the news like it is the most important thing happening in Scotland. . . .

So what are the facts about Scotland?

1 Well it has a population of about 5.2 million or just over, of which about 2.5 million are working or should be.

2 If you ignore oil for the moment its top exports appear to be Food and Drink. . .  I knew everyone liked deep fried Mars bars, Iron Bru and a Tunnock’s teacake.

3 Scotland already has its own Legal System separate to that in the rest of the UK

4 Scotland also has its own Education System

5 And to buy a house in Scotland is different to that in England.

6 Scotland has its own Sportsmen and teams who get to compete internationally for their home Country although not in the Olympics. Scotland also has its own Highland Games with things such as Goat Wresting and Grouse Bobbing.

7 It has its own language, dialects and customs that are a mystery to the rest of the world and many Scotsmen.

8 It has its own weather that is much wetter and wilder that England making many Scotsmen a bit grumpy.

9 It is a land of many mountains and moors. Ben Nevis being 1344m high when it has warmed up in the sun and the longest river is the River Tay 193km on a wet day.

10 And it has loads of History going back ages long before the Roman invasion of Britain in 1^st century AD when the Romans had to build a wall to protect themselves as the Scots had pointy sticks and were very scary.

11 The motto of Scotland is “Nemo me impune lacessit”, or: "No one provokes me with impunity . . . . . . PAL “or its modern equivalent “Are You Looking at Me Pal”

12 Scotland still has its own protected species of Underwater Monster that the English have tried to steal or discredit since 1545. . . . . . NO it’s ours so YA SUCKS BOOOO.

13 Scotland has the greatest sports fans in the world who will always chant the famous Scottish phrase “WE WAS ROBBED” after all matches or competitions when we lose right at the end.   

That last point is rather important, in fact it is very very important indeed because it is the one the Scots always forget every single time.  It is why it keeps happening and I can see it happening yet again. The English appear to be defeated and are sulking and wandering back home to London and the like. The Scots chasing them, waving their kilts in the air and throwing cans of Iron Bru and that Mr Cameron chap, laughing and sniggering as they pursue the English deep into England. Only to realize too late that they have not voted yet and they are now too far away to get to a polling station and then the NO Campaign wins by 52% to the yes vote of 48% . . . . The Scots having been tricked yet again . . . . . . .

All I can say is   WE WAS ROBBED.

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Scottish Independence . . . NO Campaign Latest Shock News.

There are certain things that need to be acknowledged as we head rapidly towards the great YES  NO vote that will, we are told change the world (OK Great Britain) forever.  Well what sort of thing (or WHO) changes the world, because quite frankly as humans changing it to much is not a good move at all.  So we need to ask ourselves in whose best interest would these changes be, obviously not humans so by a process of elimination we must be talking Aliens.

And because these changes are associated directly with the YES NO Vote we have to assume that the entire process has been instigated by the very same Aliens, but what is their cunning plan. And exactly which side are they on, are they supporting the YES or NO campaign.  Well I think I can answer that question quite easily, it is clear that the Aliens are supporting the NO campaign because of three key observations.  The first of these is historical ask yourself where do people see Aliens and Alien spacecraft in Britain, Almost always in the South of England. Yes OK the odd one turns up in Wales and the North of England but they are like Hens Teeth in Scotland.  Secondly look at the political leaders supporting the NO campaign Mr Miliband, Mr Clegg and Mr Cameron, are they Alien Androids and all the same model at that working to instigate the Aliens cunning plan; I bet they are.  Thirdly consider all the big corporate businesses throwing their weight behind the NO campaign. The organisations are reclusive secret bodies that tell us little, an ideal place for the massed hordes of Aliens to do their deeds changing our world so they can remove all the humans or enslave us

Now I can hear some of you say that is madness but consider this, if Scotland becoming independent is really so bad then why would the powers that be who are now telling us this, allow the vote in the first place.  It makes no sense whatsoever unless behind the whole thing is a grand master plan of evil cunning and quite frankly in this particular case the only ones who will gain must be an as yet undiscovered race of Aliens from the far reaches of space.

I suspect they have noticed that the Scots are a feisty belligerent bunch who have a strange language, seem to survive on foods that would kill most humans in a few days and will fight any Alien that they see once nightfall arrives. Waving those pointy Sticks at the powers that be and shouting ARE YOU LOOKIN AT ME PAL. . .

So I believe this is an entire exorcise sorry exercise in destroying the Scottish spirit forever, so that the Aliens can move North and eventually conquer the entire world.  All that stands between us (the human race) and becoming the puppets of Aliens is a YES Vote. . .

I think you know what to do. . . . . .

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The Scottish Independence debate and why the Scots will vote NO to Scotlands Independance

As a Scot living in England right on the border with Wales, having lived in Wales half my life I am watching the Scottish Independence debate with much interest. Because of where I live I get no vote which is a little ironic as many English living in Scotland do get to vote, I would vote YES myself, but in the last 48 hours feel the tide has turned and the NO vote is almost certainly going to win.

You see the Scots are a wild and passionate lot and in a battle will hold their pointy sticks and swords high and charge shouting rude things at the enemy even when outnumbered and with no hope of winning. Well I say that; this is what used to happen in the old days and 99% of the time sure enough we lose, but just on the odd occasion we win and we will cheer and relish the moment knowing that ultimately our glory will be short lived and we will be defeated by overwhelming odds. Just look at the Scottish football team.

The YES campaign lead by Alex Salmond (who needs to get into some tartan) at one time focused on this built in wild passion and belief that has seen the national football team continue to be supported even though most of the time they lose.   But in the last couple of days the YES campaign has lost its passion it has been dragged down into the nitty gritty of everyday life and questions like . . . . Will my ASDA shopping cost a bit more . . . . . 

Such arguments are futile, we are the people of Scotland, who can say if becoming independent will work or not for sure, or even staying part of the United Kingdom will be in Scotland’s long term interest. Let’s face it up to now the powers that be in England have not really cared about Scotland.  And saying . . . . ASDA will put its prices up . . . . Should make no difference.  We should be heading towards polling day waving our swords and pointing pointy sticks singing and making rude gestures at the English establishment.  The people of Scotland should be following their hearts and Rob Roy MacGregor rather than worrying about ASDA. Which is why I knew the campaign for YES was doomed when I heard a Scot saying . . . . . . The supermarkets saying we should vote NO has finally made me decide to vote to keep the Union . . . . . .  This is not the talk of a mad rampant Scotsman charging over the moors his kilt flying in the air.

In other news Ian the Musical Hat Maker (A Scot) and Auntie Karen (A Viking) called by so that Mr Ian could tune our piano (from Scotland. . . . OK German made) and we all had a jolly good time.  And had a lovely meal which all came from the local village Market . . . NOT ASDA

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Stolen thoughts and Dragonflies. Scottish Independence and haggis

In the last couple of days I have noticed something happening that is a worry. Firstly thanks to Master Meglos I discovered that Dr Who have been running off with some of my ideas to sneak into their storylines Well I don't mind but it appears they do not even give me a tiny bit of credit for my subtle sophisticated and intertwined storylines involving robots footballers and Knights with pointy sticks.

Then only yesterday I happen to mention that no one had said much about the Queen and the devolution process leading to Scottish Independence. Then before you can say Haggis and Chips and a wee can of Iron Bru out the chill cabinet, the BBC ten o'clock news has the Queen all over it saying that the Queen is remaining impartial and rumours of stockpiling deep fried Mars bars are merely rumours spread by the English aggressors lead by Prince Charles as he angles for power.

Then to add insult to injury it appears folk have started coming up with the jolly idea of taking pictures of SHELFIES . . .  Well that was my idea ages ago and I cut the bottom off my IKEA shelf unit to make a little face too. Not just take a picture of a shelf.

This is not the first time this stuff has happened and I have started to wonder if there is some cunning plan afoot to undermine my thought process and make me look like a charlatan. I know who is the Mr Big behind it all, the evil genius who has Charles and Quentin in GCHQ stealing all my posts and using them for his own plans. Its that nice Mr Steven Spielberg, he wants my thoughts to create the greatest film ever so that he can say it is all his own work and claim the accolade and glory and bright lights. His final and greatest achievement, leaving me floundering in a dark swamp of obscurity OK a dark muddy hole of Obscurity and I know about them I have already been in a lot.

And tonight I have had to run about saving Dragonflies from the cat. . .  I bet he will say his cat did it first too, but I got pictures so YA SUCKS BOOOOOOO

OOOOOoooo is that the time I was just getting comfy on your couch doctor . . . I will see you next week about the same time. . . . . .  

The Queen, Scottish Devolution, Scotland, England and Royal Babies

It appears that here in Britain we are going to get another royal, only as yet we don't know exactly when and what sex it will be, and what they will be called, and which bit of Britain they will be given so they can say they are the Duke/Duchess of Hull or the like. I suspect it will not be a bit of Scotland though.  Which is a small point I have not heard a single person mention yet in respect to Scottish Devolution. Will the Queen (no the Queen is not called Will) still be the Queen of Scotland if they take the leap of faith and leap. I rather hope they do as a Scot, but us Scots have a habit of leaping into big muddy holes where folk jab at us with pointy sticks.

The Queen rather likes Scotland and she may even decide to abdicate from England and Wales and become Mary Queen of Scots, sorry I mean Elizabeth Queen of Scots. She is also rumoured to be a bit religiously inclined towards Catholicism and this would allow her to convert.

England would then have King Charles (Oooo go on vote yes Scotland) and as a Protestant and a bit outspoken he would probably attack his mum lock her in the tower and then have her sort of executed much like the original Mary Queen of Scots was by Elizabeth the First. . . . The world is full of such ironic twists. Scotland of course would shout and wave pointy sticks and head south raiding the north of England and steal all their fish and chips and Newcastle Brown and have a grand party. But get defeated the following day by the English before the Scots get a chance to recover their wits.

The whole affair finally getting sorted by the Director of Planning at the Cumbrian County Council a Mr Hadrian who builds a big wall.     

I have cleaned a lot of windows today but only on the one side, the Scottish side . . . that’s the outside because that’s the wettest side . . . HAH HAH AH Ah ah ha hah ah ha hah ah ha ha ha ha hah ah ha ha ha hah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hhah ah ah haha hah ha.

And the English on the inside have nicked all the cosy chairs,  but luckily the oil tank is on the outside so AH HAH AH AH hah ah ah ha ha hah ha hah ah ha hah aha h aha ha YA SUCKS BO.

AH DAMN mum says I'm an IDIOT.  

Its Accountancy Jim but not as we know it. . . . . (OK I'm suffering from writers block at present, so its not my fault)

Today the Ghost Writer was in his office, the one with the grey walls. I know what you are thinking, you are thinking hang on didn't he move out of that office into a new office ages ago. Well that is correct but the new office is identical in many ways to the old office and has grey walls. It is where a very unknown writer got the idea to write. . . .  One Shade of Grey, a Tale of Accountancy . . . . .  a book that to this day is the worst selling book on Amazon. And one that the very nice Steven Spielberg would not even give a second glance at where it not for the recent realization that Roger from accounts is in fact an Alien.

Well that’s just typical you look for Aliens high and low in the Woods, Death Valley, Mars, Venus and the various moons of the various planets as well as pointing radio telescopes out into Interstellar Space. And it turns out that Roger upstairs is an Alien all along, I guess the fact that his wife is called Stella is a bit of a clue, well that and the arms.

This is good though because that Mr Douglas Adams chap wrote a successful book where the hero is an ordinary chap in the street, much like myself who ends up in space with a load of Aliens. Well this is exactly what keeps happening to me, well OK I don’t end up in space, more the supermarket. I have even been told the inside of spacecrafts are very similar to supermarkets, they both have a cold bits full of frozen bodies too in order to survive the long journey to the new planet. One Small Step for Man One Giant Roast for Mankind. In fact Roger says that he was lucky, he had just left his cryogenic chamber when a large gang of confused old ladies ran off with the rest of the crew for a barbeque at the old folks home convinced they were in Tesco.  He has worked ever since to reap revenge by making sure the pension of little old ladies is reduced so much they can’t afford a decent frozen Alien anymore. And to insure this will never happen again he was secretly worked on increasing the retirement age to a point us humans all keel over before we get to retire. 

See what happens when we start eating folk from other planets, they don't like it.  

Ooooo and remember Vote YES . . . .  I will be returning to this subject again  . . . . .soon 

The Scottish Referendum Debate and the reason why people should vote YES to Scottish independence

It is rather interesting that in the great debate on Scottish independence, to date no one as asked me my opinion on the Scottish referendum debate. Some of you will be thinking why should Rob Z Tobor get involved in the first place, what can some mad bloke living on the English Welsh border add to the debate that has not been discussed so far.

Well you see as my loyal, slightly quirky, but rather intelligent regular followers will know I often look at things in a slightly different way to the masses and so can help persuade a few people to consider how they finally vote when we get to crunch time on the 18^th September. There are all sorts of issues involved in this, and at present a certain amount of mud slinging and scare tactics being used by both sides. This is not the way forward, although I may add some to my argument in order to liven it up a bit, after all David Cameron and Alex Salmond are not the most inspiring folk to watch or listen too,  although maybe Mr Salmond has the edge slightly on banter.

So where do I stand and why, well I am a pro independence person because my family have come from the wilds of Scotland since before Bruce Lee, sorry Robert the Bruce was knee high to a spider. In fact the old ancestral blood goes back to a time when we were wild men in the hills fighting everyone including each other and shouting Are you looking at me sonny dishing out Glasgow kisses before Glasgow was Glasgow, and we all spoke in a strange dialect no one understood.  AH YES I see your point it may still be a bit like that on a Saturday night after a few wee chasers and deep fried haggis, chips and curry sauce. I always remember someone telling me that after a really good night out, he assumed it was good as he did not remember it, he woke up in the door way of R S McColl in Aberdeen in the morning with enough chip suppers to feed about twenty people, although by then they were cold and had sort of congealed into a single lump.  Still it made a hell of a breakfast, sort of the hair of the dog so to speak (I know more silly sayings).

OK back to the point you are keen to hear exactly why folk in Scotland should vote for independence, it is the financial or economic or commercial or political arguments that have made me think AH YES this is what Scotland should do . . . . . . . . Well NO who can really predict what would happen; the truth is no one with any certainty.

You see if Scotland says NO then the status quo will remain as it is now, nothing will change, we will still grumble about the weather, politicians being corrupt, the cost of a cup of tea and next doors Armadillo making holes in the lawn at night. To vote No is the easy safe choice the one to go for if you wish to see everything just carry on as it has for ages, the one that will let the powers that be just smile and be smug. However if Scotland says lets go for it Lets vote Yes, it will be a whole new adventure not just for Scotland but the entire UK, the UK even gets a new flag (WELL COOL). Imagine it . . . . all change for loads of things, flag makers will love it for one and then there will be all sorts of other stuff no one has thought of yet, it will be dead exciting all round, both in England and Scotland and it will be a monumental historical moment in British History something to remember and tell your neighbours cat about in years to come.

This is a one off opportunity something that will never happen again, a NO vote will seal Scotland’s fate forever as the hilly bit on the top of England where folk talk funny. A YES you see; I suspect in the future, if it sort of went wrong, would see the rest of UK saying . . . . . Why not come and join us again we will even let you keep your kilts and bagpipes and talk in a funny way about felling a bit peely-wally and even allow you to sing Flower of Scotland.

So vote YES or  . . . . . .  Ye aff yer heid . . . . ya Bampot Eeejits

I rest my case . . . . . . . .for now.