The Scottish Independence debate and why the Scots will vote NO to Scotlands Independance

As a Scot living in England right on the border with Wales, having lived in Wales half my life I am watching the Scottish Independence debate with much interest. Because of where I live I get no vote which is a little ironic as many English living in Scotland do get to vote, I would vote YES myself, but in the last 48 hours feel the tide has turned and the NO vote is almost certainly going to win.

You see the Scots are a wild and passionate lot and in a battle will hold their pointy sticks and swords high and charge shouting rude things at the enemy even when outnumbered and with no hope of winning. Well I say that; this is what used to happen in the old days and 99% of the time sure enough we lose, but just on the odd occasion we win and we will cheer and relish the moment knowing that ultimately our glory will be short lived and we will be defeated by overwhelming odds. Just look at the Scottish football team.

The YES campaign lead by Alex Salmond (who needs to get into some tartan) at one time focused on this built in wild passion and belief that has seen the national football team continue to be supported even though most of the time they lose.   But in the last couple of days the YES campaign has lost its passion it has been dragged down into the nitty gritty of everyday life and questions like . . . . Will my ASDA shopping cost a bit more . . . . . 

Such arguments are futile, we are the people of Scotland, who can say if becoming independent will work or not for sure, or even staying part of the United Kingdom will be in Scotland’s long term interest. Let’s face it up to now the powers that be in England have not really cared about Scotland.  And saying . . . . ASDA will put its prices up . . . . Should make no difference.  We should be heading towards polling day waving our swords and pointing pointy sticks singing and making rude gestures at the English establishment.  The people of Scotland should be following their hearts and Rob Roy MacGregor rather than worrying about ASDA. Which is why I knew the campaign for YES was doomed when I heard a Scot saying . . . . . . The supermarkets saying we should vote NO has finally made me decide to vote to keep the Union . . . . . .  This is not the talk of a mad rampant Scotsman charging over the moors his kilt flying in the air.

In other news Ian the Musical Hat Maker (A Scot) and Auntie Karen (A Viking) called by so that Mr Ian could tune our piano (from Scotland. . . . OK German made) and we all had a jolly good time.  And had a lovely meal which all came from the local village Market . . . NOT ASDA

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1 Bugatti, 24 goldfish and 1000 coat hangers

Yesterday as I told a handful of folk well maybe two. . . . as all the other folk were busy apparently they had hair to wash and paint to watch dry, or a an ant to race in an ant race through the maze of eternal confusion at 25 to 1 odds on; I was too tired to post because of the Bugatti and the 24 goldfish.  Today as you might expect those folk are keen to know exactly what I was up to that involved 24 goldfish and a Bugatti, well you would expect that only they are not really interested at all. This is no reason though not to tell you what I was doing and why I was very tired.

It started with a mad rush to help Miss Issy in the charity shop in the great Metropolis of Welshpool where I was allocated the cellar as it was felt I might be better down there away from customers. OK a couple of them did peer down and say OOOOOOo she’s right there is a monster in the cellar, I never saw it mind you?

Then I found the Bugatti, not the car but the clothing, I never knew they did clothing, but it seems they do and it (a jacket) fitted rather well so I bought it. So I am now the proud owner of a Bugatti WELL COOL. I also threw out about 1000 coat hangers . . . . . NO its true that place is overloaded with coat hangers.

After that Auntie Karen and Ian the Musical Hat Maker and Rock Star called in to say hello so we all stopped for tea and coffee and said rude things about certain politicians with a vague link to the local area and then all tried on clothing, Mr Ian finding a rather nice Dinner jacket for himself enhancing his rugged cool rock star image. . . .

Then after the shop closed I had to save 24 goldfish from the Ghost Writer who had received them as an early Father’s Day gift. He was discussing the options of fried or curried so it was felt he may have got the wrong idea about the gift and they needed to be rescued from his oven pronto. He had named them all either Pi, Cake or Supper so the fish are now safe but may need to talk to a therapist for anxiety.

Anyway after all that it was no surprise I was tired, I was better today as it was rather a nice day and so I was able to introduce the fish to the Steam Powered Duck and attempt Leech juggling  . . . . . . . . . Don’t try Leech juggling I don’t recommend it.

Ian the Musical Hat Maker

(A US N01 in its day)

The World of Friends, Rock Stars and Mr M

It has been a mixed day of events that started with the very sad news that Mr M had slipped into a coma in the night, although we have been assured that he is not in any pain. He is still hanging in there but sadly it is a case of insuring he is not suffering and can maintain his dignity.

Anyway we also had visitors for lunch in the form of Mr Ian the Musical Hat Maker, Auntie Karen, Mr Charlie and Miss Jane, it has been a long time since we have seen them and it was good to return to some normality for a few hours. Mr Ian the Musical Hat Maker is a man full of interesting tales from his past in the music industry as a rather modest and always friendly rock star, both as a solo artist and writer, and as a member of Brinsley Schwarz. And he told us all about folk like Paul McCartney and what he got up to when they were on the same tour in the USA, and of the time he found himself standing right in the middle of a police stand off in Nashville by accident when an armed gang were robbing a book shop.  I wonder if the police got to read them their rights HA HAHAH HAH AH HAH HAha hah ha hah hah ah hah ahha ha hah ha ha ha. 

Mr Charlie and myself went out and peered at a strimmer for a while and removed bits and nodded in a knowing way and pointed at things before we returned to eat loads of good food and continue to chat of many things including the advantages and disadvantages of using two fire guards.

Then after they all ventured home, we headed off to see Mr M and chat to him, it is always important to chat to folk even if they are in a coma because almost the last thing to stop working in the human body is hearing, so even if folk cant respond by say poking you with a pointy stick, they will know what you said.  We then returned home and ate more food and moved a fire guard a bit.

I hope this continues to make sense as it is getting late and I am getting tired ………..

Dick Barton Special Agent and the Zombie Archers of Ambridge, Art and Chickens.

Today turned into an interesting day what with one thing and another, it got off to a great start with Bacon and pancakes for breakfast with maple syrup which is a good way to start any day. Then it got a bit noisy when a tractor and trailer turned up next door, and it now appears that the folk who live behind us and keep rare breed chickens have decided to do the re-enactment of the film Chicken Run and have added yet more chicken houses. It will be interesting to see how good rare breed chickens are at making aeroplanes. Anyway it is a bit of a worry as they seem to have enough chicken houses now for thousands of the beasts, which means a seriously large aeroplane.

I then helped the Ghost Writer with his Radiogram based PC gaming machine he is sorting for Master Ja;, which is apparently brilliant as long as you only play games based on a pre 1955 world, so Dick Barton Special Agent and the Zombie Archers of Ambridge should work really well.

Then this afternoon we went off a preview to see Auntie Karen who is exhibiting her needle felt pictures and hats at a not too far away gallery and events place, we got to chat to Auntie Karen who took my picture and told me that it would be useful to give to the police if any trouble started, I tried to smile a lot but still looked suspicious in the photo. Mr Ian the Musical Hat Maker was there also giving moral support for Auntie Karen, and drinking tea and telling all the punters tales of life and the universe (Mr Ian can tell a good yarn and will keep folk amused for hours). In fact Mr Ian was accompanying John Hegley at the same location only a few days ago, Auntie Karen and Mr Ian the musical Hat Maker are a talented couple.

There was loads of other interesting art there including sculpture, painting. and I even found a really cool looking Meccano Beam Engine, I did ask before I took a photo, it is bad form to go round taking photos in an art gallery without asking. Anyway there were loads of people there who I knew so that was cool, although one person did say everyone looked shorter and fatter that she remembered (it was not me PHEW) apparently this is also bad form in an art gallery during a preview.

We then ended the day with a Chinese takeaway from the Castle of the Bishop so I have eaten loads, which means that last statement about being shorter and fatter is sort of true well half true as I am still the same height.

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The Olympic Torch, as safe as Bobs Diamonds....

It has been a lovely day today, when I say lovely I am not referring to the weather as it is still wet and grey although not cold so that’s OK. Yes we went off to see Auntie Karen and Ian the Musical Hat Maker, rock hero and very nice chap. It was as always really great to see them; they live in the rolling hills of Wales in a house full of twists and turns and steps and small crevices full of interesting things. They have lived there for a long long time so all of the twists and turns and steps and small crevices full of interesting things are multilayered with interesting things, which is the best way to keep interesting things in my opinion.  Mr Ian was showing me his internet radio which is WELL COOL, he even tuned into the local Icelandic radio station which no one could understand because they were all speaking in Icelandic. But I think I will need to get one of these radios as radio reception here is not great even for the basic stations.  

  

 

Mr Ian the Musical Hat Maker is famous for his happy smiling face as he whizzes round his designer kitchen with its myriad of cooking options (electricity, oil, gas, coal, nuclear and the radar range) and threw together a rather yummy lunch of loads of different things although mainly vegetarian. However he did have mini scotch eggs in honour of his Scottish heritage and wafer thin ham that required a special technique to pick up in honour of Auntie Karen’s heritage, none of us quite got the hang of picking it up, however we still ate it all.

Mr Ian then told us tales of things like his attempt to set fire to the local member of parliament with the Olympic torch when it passed by the nearby town of Welshpool. However he was stopped by several large men on motorbikes who were smiling and waving to the crowd.  In the end he got away when a man from the bank tried to get the motorcycle Olympic torch outriders to invest a small amount of money in a high yield investment scheme which he assured them was as safe as buying diamonds from his mate Bob…….. AH

He also was telling us that he had an imposter on the internet once who said that he was Ian the Musical Hat Maker, But as I said, that is mad why would anyone pretend to be someone else on the internet…….. Even mum and Auntie Karen said IDIOT?      

Auntie Karen has started making hats, not music hats like Mr Ian but felt hats and they are rather COOL. She plans to wear them when she plays on stage with her band Hoots which sounds a bit like Hats (a bit), as I have said in the past Auntie Karen plays the saxophone. So they are both very musical although Mr Ian rather laments the good old days when songs were songs and everyone had to be a good musician. But with a million radio stations on his hi-tech internet radio he can still find a few things to listen too, even his own songs from time to time.

Anyway Auntie Karen and Mr Ian thank you for a lovely day it was lovely to see you as always, we hope you like the gooseberries, red currants and salad from the garden….  

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anthropomorphic saxophonist robot..... 
This is a late addition for my very good friend Mr ESB

Auntie Karen, Ian the Musical Hat Maker and the Russian ballet dancer

So I am able to return to all the various portholes in the fabric of time space and cyberspace having finally escaped the strange A to Z alphabet world. As some will be aware if I am going to do something like that then, if I can I will do it over the top making life difficult for myself. It is the nature of the beast. Mum says IDIOT

So today is far more chilled although I am aware that I do have the deadline of the 14^th June for the manufacture of the Montgomery Cardboard Robot Club Cultural Olympian for a big grand show and as things stand he is so far just a hand.

OK back to the diary Auntie Karen and Ian the Musical Hat Maker came to see us today, and had lunch, and we discussed the world and various things of interest like, do Russian Ballet dancers make good waiters. I can hear some of you thinking WHAT? But recently in the heart of Mid- Wales Auntie Karen and Mr Ian were staying in a posh hotel (it’s what famous rock stars do) where it appeared that one of the waiters appeared to be a ballet dancer according to Auntie Karen. I think he may have been a Russian spy searching for the famous Welsh rare bits due to a slight error in translation.

It was a good day as Auntie Karen and Ian the Musical Hat Maker are jolly good fun and we all need cheering up, bearing in mind the weather, which is wet and more wet in the last week. It is nice to see Mr Ian not walking in circles and he appears to be taller Mmmmmmm?

For those of you who have wondered where I had gone and if I was returning, well guess what

I HAVE RETURNED (sort of …….a bit) 

For those of you back at the blog........ Yes I'm sorry I am still hear

Auntie Karen 

You cant run fast wearing a KANGAROO outfit and a KIMONO

A misty start to the day, and another day at school for me, the Grey Office for the Ghost Writer and the Kremlin for the KGB.  Breakfast was Kippers,and the dog has informed us (and we KNOW why) that it contains no  Koagulationsvitamin or vitamin K to you and me, he says I would be better to roast a Kestrel and have KETCHUP with it. As a special K day treat all the pupils went to school dressed as large Gorillas. Mum got in a bit of a Kerfuffle making my outfit and dad threatened to torch it with Kerosine but it was well cool in the end bulked out with Kapok.

Unfortunately on route to school the bus went Kaput on the Kings road a few hundred yards from the school. So we all walked the last bit up the Kings road.  We did frighten a party of Little old Ladies who on seeing forty two KING KONGS and one Kangaroo wearing a Kimono, (that was Ken), and playing Kazoo’s, thought they were about to be kidnapped. Kevin was very Kind and did try and explain but speech gets very muffled in a KING KONG outfit and the little old ladies thought he said KILL the Kitten with a Kitchin Knife, which Kick-started a stampede.

The next thing was a man wearing Khaki, who we were told was a zoo keeper chasing us with a large net but we made it into school. Well not Ken he had a dodgy Kneecap and you cant run fast wearing a Kangaroo outfit and a Kimono with a Kittiwake sat on your head. Although Ken does know Kung Fu so did escape in the end with a knockout blow to the zoo Keeper.

The rest of the day was very quiet, Kris did ask Silent Kay who sits at the front of the class if she would like a Knickerbocker Glory at lunchtime or one of his Kookaburra sandwiches but she said Know ………… HAH AHHAH HAH HAH HAH ha hh hah h h ha haha hhah ha 

Kedgeree for dinner YUM, I might keep some for Auntie Karen, I could wrap it in Kelp to Keep it fresh.

I bet you think this was Kobbled together in a rush while I watched the Kettle boil through a kaleidoscope ……………..could be? 

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The infinite space of cyberspace .... And the "A to Z Challenge 2012" a Pre-Amble

I assume that cyberspace is infinite. The dog insists that it is not because it does have a finite capacity but I am not sure he is right. I have tried to see the other side but I couldn’t even with a huge telescope. The dog says I am thinking about it all wrong, and instead of thinking of it as space I need to think of it (cyberspace that is) as a sushi restaurant. Where all the little dishes go round and round and you pull off what you want, so I think the dog is saying that it is like the ancient concept of the universe and it all revolves around me. 

  

Well that’s WELL COOL because I have always been told that if you think of the smallest thing you can think of and then crushed it really really tiny and threw it in the sea, then blind folded a man three weeks later and put him in another part of the world and told him to find the thing you crushed. The chances are he might not. And that tiny crunched object represents the total (that’s everything) of mankind’s achievements in the universe so far. I think some of these megalomaniacal power mad leaders need to remember they are but nothing in the great master plan and an afterlife in the cellar of Napoleon Beelzebub getting sunburnt (sorry burnt) is not worth it.

Anyway cyberspace is different and the dog has explained that quite clearly it revolves around me, it is ironic really because I had salmon for tea too.

At this point I suspect you are wondering what is Rob talking about and so am I, because I did have a point but I got entirely distracted by a tiny tiny crushed item in the sea (mankind); so I will now get to my point. What I was going to say is that I have more than one portal to cyberspace and many of you will be unaware that I have entered a thing called “The A to Z Challenge 2012”  where during April  the idea is to blog based on a letter from the Alphabet each day starting at A and ending at Z. The result of this is my diary might look a bit strange I will give an example below of what might happen on April the 1^st. But it is all part of a competition in which I am a tiny tiny crushed item thrown into the sea

AAAAAAAAAAugghgghgggggghGHHHHHHH ….. Day one

My pet Aardvark Alpha bit Auntie Karen’s Angora Alpine horn case thinking it was a Armadillo. Its mums fault she threw the armadillo toaster at Alpha assuming it was assaulting her angel cake. It was a good angel cake and we all ate it up rather abruptly even the crumbs thrown out for the birds were swiftly consumed by a passing albatross or was it an alpine tern, As it appened Auntie Karen was amused and asked Alpha the Aardvark for an autograph and he was happy to ablige and everyone applauded and said ……. AH




Karen Gomm I assume that you are seeing if I am paying attention to your attention seeking comments and bad spelling! Well you have your answer now Rob!




WELL COOL Auntie Karen welcome to the blog

The capitalist pig and the eco warrior and a Ukulele Banjo and the Saxophone

Pancake Tuesday was the 8^th March last year so this year it is a bit earlier. And it is always worth having a little look back in time to see what happened. Well as you might expect me and the dog ate lots of pancakes but Pirate Pete stuck to his Ships biscuits with the weevils in. When I say stuck I am not referring to glued to his biscuit, none of us like to be glued to a biscuit full of weevils. And Auntie Karen tried to burn down the school although as she said at the time it was lovely and sunny so no one minded too much.

I refer back to these events because this year it is sort of grey and the International Space Station (nudge nudge wink wink) is low flying over head every night, although tonight it was not possible to see it due to low cloud. But we have eaten loads of pancakes, well most of us have as Sooty the Cat wanted Squirrel pancakes and we were all out of Squirrel as the local ones have sussed the cats, and so far have escaped capture (just).

I don’t think Auntie Karen has set fire to anything this year and is giving up the world of knowledge to concentrate on playing the Ukulele Banjo and the Saxophone and perfecting the art of juggling both at the same time while playing that old favourite of my blog and the squirrels Tip Toe Through The Tulips. Auntie Karen has told us she plans to pursue a new career as one of the idol rich, although mum says there is one small error in Auntie Karen’s plan. I tried to ask what this error was but mum said IDIOT ……….. that’s NOT FAIR.

Talking of NOT FAIR the Ghost Writer has said this several times today as he has to go to Brecon tomorrow to look at the Trogon Horse in cyberspace, which he says is the wrong side of the firewall. Well that is Trogon horses for you. As the old saying goes “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and so on”. That’s the thing with horses you can’t trust them I am sure it was that horse that ruined my opportunity of making the blockbuster movie with the nice Steven Spielberg. He kept whispering in Mr Spielberg’s ear HAY HAY OVER HERE and then the next thing you know the bloody horse is a celeb.     

School is ticking along as school should, but I did get to pick the lock to the headmasters office as he had left his keys at home and was trying to kick the door down. I then had to pick the lock to the exam filing cabinet and the school safe. Esmeralda was well impressed and wants me to show her how to do stuff like that, but after the incident with the history teacher’s car when I showed Esmeralda how to hot wire one of those new Jaguars I think it might be best if I don’t.

I am sure something else happened today but I can’t remember.

Oooo yes dad has got his solar panels forms in the post now to beat the 3^rd March deadline. Mum has called him a capitalist pig but dad says he’s an ECO warrior.