Vampire Propaganda, Zombies and Treasure Island

Have you noticed in recent years how certain monsters in the world of fiction have faired better than others, it is a very odd thing indeed, I mean these days it is almost a positive to be a vampire. It is a long time since vampires were generally grumpy middle aged men biting dodgy women in the middle of the night who then spend the rest of their days looking a bit off colour and laying about all day in boxes of mud in the cellars of old castles.  No these days there are even vegetarian vampires who only nibble the odd vole from time to time when they need a bit of get up and go.  And they are no longer grumpy middle aged folk but teenagers and the like, clearly the world of teenage vampires is something that would leave Vincent Van Gogh (sorry Vincent Price) turning in his grave demanding a medium rare stake.

Even the likes of Werewolves seem to have their decent understanding side and avoid howling in libraries now, I mean in the old days they would have chewed the leg off the librarian and left them propped up against a copy of Treasure Island just for a laugh.

However (I like the word However it crops up a lot in this blog) there is one group who has always drawn the short straw so to speak and never come out well in books or films or even video games. And that is Zombies . . . O yes indeed no one wants to be a Zombie, they are always seen as slow and stupid, not nibble gymnastic scientists who just happen to like to eat a fresh bit of Brain direct from its tin. It is all just a bit unfair and something should be done. . . . Zombies are nice, a bit nice . . . .  should be something small child are taught in School so that they do not succumb to the obvious propaganda of the modern manipulative vampire     

OK I could write more but I have been helping in the hospice shop, well I say helping I wander about looking confused and attempting to keep a few shelves topped up as part of my good deed bit. It is important that we all do something how ever small to make the world a better place, because then the world will be better. . . . OK it probably will not be better as there seem to be more folk making it worse than folk making it better.  So there that’s it I am knackered and off to chill for a bit before I crash out.  

Werewolfs in pink leotards and cheese cake

After the Harvest Moon of last night which was well bright to say the least where just as I was about to abandon my efforts to see a werewolf, I suddenly noticed three of them creeping out of the woods wearing pink leotards, it was that sort of night. Anyway they started dancing and acting as an acapella harmony backing group to the owls who were singing that damn silly song by Tiny Tim, I think it is a cunning plan to undermine the authoritarian responsible message that my diary represents. Lets face it werewolf’s in leotards is just not normal and portrays no moral message what so ever, in fact it might be quite the opposite I am still working that out as I type.  No I can’t work that out so I will ignore it; anyway they vanished with a loud howl although it was in harmony down a tunnel entrance, which just goes to show you need to watch where you walk in a field full of cows. I can remember being told to watch where I was walking in a field full of cows when I was very very young and I always wondered why.

Have I ever mentioned that the Ghost Writer a long time ago used to be a UFO pilot and flew his UFO hundreds of miles annoying all sorts of things like Octopus and Cod; I don’t think I have, although I have now . . . . . .

OK what was I talking about AH yes the harvest Moon; well today was the local Harvest dinner where everyone gets together and eats loads, they really do eat loads even me who eats loads did not eat as much as some of the other people eating loads. And then the folk who had cooked all the food said there was loads more and we could all have seconds but I was by then totally full, although I did manage a large piece of cheese cake and a thing with puff pastry and cream for pud. That however was a few hours ago so I think it is time to eat more food now YUM. . . . . . . .   

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The Werewolf Waving Whale parts in Wales

The Ghost Writer spent the day weaving his way to Ystradgynlais to repair computers and then weaved his way home. There are few straight roads in Wales, a wise if slightly wicked way to make the English wander into little Welsh villages to purchase stuff like wooden Love spoons and warthogs and waterproof coats and wellingtons as Wales is world famous for its wet Weather. 

The Ghost Writer is here now eating and whinging after driving at the wheel of his vehicle for what he says felt like a well long time. In fact it is a wonder he made it, what with the whispers of wildcat strikes by tanker drivers and Werewolf’s in busses waving Whale parts at him.    

From the Movie

The Last Strangle in Paris 

AHHAH HAha hah hah hhah hah haha ha 

 Did you all know that K, Q, V, X and Z do not exist in Welsh so really I should not be doing them but I have. As for today well it started badly the old wagon, (I refer to the school bus) was driven by a werewolf with Wensleydale cheese and WORCESTER Sauce sandwiches. His driving was a bit whacky but he happily whistled into the Wind and wound up the other drivers by waving whale parts at them and winking.

It appears the Universal Bus Company drivers have gone on Strike again and warfare now exists between management and the workers even the tanker drivers have walked out in support. So the Buss Company have got round the problem by employing a new workforce of werewolf’s (who are prepared to do a bit of moonlighting)  

     

What makes it worse for the workers is werewolf’s will work for woefully low wages and one night off once a month when they go and wild in the woods and wrestle with witches and warlocks and hunt for Whale parts in Woolworths or W H Smiths.

Look, I’m distracted now as I was saying the werewolf was WINDING his way to school when he was stung by a wasp.  So after weaving all over the road writing off a wheelbarrow and a wireless set we ended up going the wrong way and getting lost in the woods. Remember what bears do in the woods, well so do werewolf’s……… YUCK, that made the women on the bus scream and cry (those WESSEX Girls).  Mums just said Sexist IDIOT. 

                                                                                          

Damn it this is getting very wordy…not a wise thing.  I have told the Werewolf who was driving the bus if he keeps driving like that by tomorrow he will be an EX-Werewolf

I don’t know about the rest of you in the A to Z jolly but I have decided I am doing three more letters then that’s it no more. I still have this sculpture to make for the Cultural Olympiad……….YICKS  

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