Global Warming, a large muddy hole and a master craftsman

It’s a funny old world; there I was all ready to go off to school and ponder global warming, which is always very hard when you need to be taken to school on the back of a snow plough wearing tennis rackets on your feet and a woolly hat with pointy ears.  We should be contemplating global warming in the summer when it is hot, OK wet and cold . . . . . . . . . I know it’s all very complicated but I am hoping we might just get some of that greenhouse effect on the Welsh English border this year. Anyway as I was saying there I was in my school uniform with tennis rackets on my feet and a woolly hat with pointy ears and a knitted duck on the front when I was suddenly excused school by dad and thrown into the cold wet muddy hole in the garden. It was a bit of a shock, but luckily I found I was not alone as our good friend and master craftsman Chris the Builder was also in the hole. He was very pleased to see me and asked me straight away why have you got tennis rackets attached to your feet, I did try to explain they were snow shoes but I got the impression he thought I was mad. Still as Chris found out snow shoes also make good mud shoes as we pondered the hole and what to do I notice he was getting shorter all the time not ideal when you are already standing in the middle of a muddy hole.

Then after much scratching of heads digging of mud, pointing and shaking out heads for a bit leaning on shovels and a few cups of tea we hatched a plan, we will look at the hole again in a few weeks.

Home 27th May 2012

The result of all this standing and getting wet and cold in a large muddy hole plus the fact that at school I would have been writing my thesis on the environmental side effects of global warming made me wonder about when we last had some decent hot weather. One of the great advantages of writing a daily diary observing the world and my place in it in great detail without elaborating on the truth, is that I can look back and say with certainty what happened when. So I can say that back on the twenty seventh of May we were in the middle of a few days of extreme heat, and I even have photographic evidence and by the 2^nd June it started to rain.  One thing that is clear from this is that it should have stopped raining or snowing by now because six to seven moths of it is just not fair. Oddly back on the 27^th May I was complaining about the heat and how it was far to hot and by the 3^rd June I was complaining about rain and cold and what this proves conclusively is that I am genetically British, Only the British complain about the weather this much regardless of what the weather is………..  

And please note that I think all is sorted with making comments again on the Blog . . . . . .PHEW

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The pirates ships of Treasure Island, Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub and a ferret

Today has been wet dark and cold, it appears that the UK is slowly vanishing under water with terrible floods and the like, I had to explain to several teachers that my homework was ruined when I had to leap into a puddle to save a distressed seagull who was confused and thought he was somewhere in the middle of the North Sea. To tell the truth it is very easy to make that sort of mistake at present as there is a lot of water about and it is still raining very heavily even as I type.

Anyway with all the rain and cold and dark everyone was sulking and sailing paper boats up and down the school corridors. Treasure Island makes very good pirate ships although it needs to be one of the very very rare first editions signed by Blind Pugh from the crew who if I remember correctly were Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub., luckily the school library had a first edition of Treasure Island  . . . . . . . Har Har Har Har Hardy Har so my pirate ships were able to attack the fleet of the Russian navy made from War and Piece. It was a modern edition of War and piece so the paper was rubbish. Although Esmeralda’s U boats made from Under Milkwood were rather difficult to destroy but luckily Freddie’s ferret thought they were fish and ate them, leaving the pirates ships to blockade the doorway to the headmaster’s office. However the headmaster refused to pay the ransom and made me mop the deck (sorry I mean mop the desk).

 Oooooo yes the Ghost Writer hid today saying it was too wet for IT.

And myself and my djembe colleague have been playing The Song of the Sun God in an attempt to stop the rain, so with luck in the morning it will not be raining and the sun will come out.  

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Drumming and Hurricane Sandy (it is not a superstorm it is a rotten one)

Tonight’s diary entry I think will be very short because it is late and we are all tired, After a day at IKEA and then in my case an evening of drumming and Chinese food. When I say Chinese food it is not the real thing like Captain Nessman of the High Seas gets to eat at present but none the less it is still very YUMMY. IKEA was a bit of a battle today and it appears there were two main reasons for this, the first it is Half Term so us younger members of society get to run round the way shopping system annoying all the adults; although it back fired a bit and they all annoyed me instead. And secondly it appears it is possible to get a full English Breakfast for £1.50p, sadly I was not allowed to set the dog on the queue or use a flame thrower so I never got a breakfast.

Tonight’s drumming went rather well so that was good, we were drumming to try and appease the great gods of the weather to see if we can subdue the great mega-storm (superstorm) Hurricane Sandy which is slowly heading towards the East coast of the USA.  However all the elements are working to make this worse rather than better so two drummers in the dark of night in Britain I feel is not going to help even if they are extremely good drummers.

I have been able to watch the first pictures of Hurricane Sandy as it reaches the coast on a television set, what is interesting is that they have been evacuating everyone, although there seems to be various members of the media perched in precarious places like bridges or on the beach telling the world that everyone has been evacuated from these places because it is so dangerous; I think we can only assume it is really dangerous when the media are evacuated.

So good luck in the USA with the Hurricane and remember a hot air balloon is not a good method of escaping, although it will travel remarkably fast for a balloon.

Just in case of a high tide in the UK I have prepared myself for the worse, although it is not easy to eat a Chinese takeaway ot drum in this thing

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Drums, lions and the polar ice cap

So today was bank holiday Monday, the August Bank Holiday Monday the last few days when we traditionally run off to the sea making sand castles eating ice cream wearing shorts and sunglasses and smiling. In reality that was not the case as the weather was predicted to be not nice, and this morning it was less not nice than we had anticipated making us all think ooooooooo maybe it will be OK and we can do things outside. Maybe like run off to the sea making sand castles eating ice cream wearing shorts and sunglasses and smiling. But before we could seriously consider the options it started to rain get very grey and become cold and horrible.

It meant I retreated to the Orange room again to clear some space as my drumming colleague was due to turn up (he turned up) to drum this evening

As it turned out when we did start drumming the acoustics were rather interesting. You would think rooms in a house would generally be the same acoustically but no they differ immensely. So it appears the orange room will be perfect for guitars but I will need to experiment with the drums a bit.  We also decided that we would play an African drum version of the classic song ‘Fanfare to the Common Man in Space’ as our final hooray to Mr Neil Armstrong…..Although we are not sure what his views on African Drumming were…

I noticed also on the news on the wireless that the polar ice sheet has now shrunk to the smallest in recorded history, although that is only thirty years. But rather than think o dear poor old polar bear everyone is sending oil expiration vessels, and you can’t help but wonder if it will all end in tears.

Oooooo and I notice the Lion running wild in the south of England might be a ginger tom cat, no look I am sorry but are they all wimps down there how do you mistake a ginger cat and a lion….

I think in short I am saying not much happened today…… Maybe I should retire I am running out of creative stream…….  

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A jet wash, a cat, an RSPCA man and the best selling book on farming..... and a blog award

I was jet washing the path at the back of the house as it getting a bit slippery with mould and the like, as it is to the North side of the house. Apparently I was told that it was possible that I personally would be sued if someone fell as it is my responsibility to jet-wash it. This came about after a game of Paper Scissors Stone where as you will have guessed I lost again….. I don’t mind using the jet wash although the bottom two feet of me, not my two feet although the bottom two feet of me includes my two feet, got rather wet. As most of you will not know I only wear Converse trainers and have done so for a long time (it is a long story), they are usually rather battered so I ended up with very wet feet (two feet).

While I was doing the path the dog suggested that I could wash the cats at the same time, they are sulking now and both mum and the RSPCA man have said IDIOT. I did explain it was the dogs idea but when the RSPCA man went to see the dog he just sat there wagged his tail and picked up a piece of wood. When I tried to explain to him that the dog talks Latin and does my maths homework the RSPCA man said IDIOT again to me, and the dog dropped the piece of wood on his foot (one foot). He limped off then muttering (the Man not the dog or piece of wood) and the dog fell about in hysterics and was whispering something in Latin to mum. It appears it is best that the RSPCA don’t know that the dog speaks Latin as it would only cause problems, although it appears to be causing a few for me today.

Someone was telling me today about some best selling book all about crop farming, that is rather annoying, here am I on book two of my life and still no luck with that nice Steven Spielberg yet apparently he says he is waiting to see how it pans out as a series and is waiting for book four, and yet a book on farming I am told is selling like hot cakes. Well I guess cakes tend to be made of wheat so there is a sort of link but it is very annoying indeed.  I was planning to get a copy via the internet but mum said IDIOT again too, I guess she is right I have no interest in farming and a best selling book on farming is not going to change that.

OK that’s it I must away now and go and do other things before it gets dark and try and convince the cats that bold patches are trendy for cats this year……. Ooooo yes before I forget that book is called ‘Fifty Grades of Hay’ ……. No sorry but that sounds very boring? 

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I was awarded an award yesterday, and as you know I am not good with awards I have a few lost in the system somewhere. Anyway it was given by someone new to me so I have investigated their blog and it reminded me of Miss Lily. I like Miss Lily’s Blog so that is a good sign.  I think they really wanted to give the award to Miss Lily and not me but well Miss Lily has a shed full of awards so after many attempts to give the award to all the deserving Blogs who also have shed’s full of awards I got it. Apparently a friend of a friend said “Hay that Rob has a cool dog that speaks Latin and stuff like that, and it has rained in the UK since, well forever so give it to him he will never notice” that is not entirely true. They also said (the friend of a friend) “oooooo he will be a grumpy *********** ******* so just keep you head down and ignore anything he says he will whinge like hell”.  Now that is true …. Anyway here is said award  

 

This Award was awarded by Crazy Mama at (see link below) so have a look 

Cant keep it in no More

Many thanks 

There were questions and stuff but it is late so I will not do that now but all my favourite blogs will be found below the posts