The Aurora Borealis, Professor Brian Cox and why are humans not that hairy. . .The big Question

I have not pondered any big questions of late and this might explain part of the entire lack of interest in my blog at present, well that and my ability to ramble on about absolutely nothing. So I thought come on Rob Z Tobor time to look at the bigger picture and consider one of those Big Questions one where the answer is far from clear even for a chap like me. You see I was outside last night looking at the sky, on the off chance I might see the Aurora Borealis; did I see a hint of green through the mist and trees I will never know for sure, but stuff like that happens. Was that a three headed dog running along the dark ally at the back of the chip shop with a large lizard in its mouth (mouths), life is full of little glimpses of things out the corner of your eye that make you think . . . . . . Was that really a ???? . . . There is a whole different world in the corner of human eyes.

Anyway while I was out not seeing the Aurora Borealis, wrapped up against the cold with a selection of warm clothes watched by two cats who ran off when they thought they heard a three headed dog, (it was only three of next doors dogs howling at a banshee).  I had this thought why are humans not covered in hair . . . . No I mean proper hair like gorillas or bears (who are not bare) if we are the descendants of the great apes we should be covered in hair but we are not. This is odd because normally where an animal exists both in a hairy species and bald species the bald one spends its entire life in caves and has rubbish eyesight. And if you look at humans as a whole it is amazing how many wear glasses and have rubbish eyesight. Me for one if I take my glasses off I would be unable to tell the difference between a gorilla and say a hedgehog so I have to make sure I am wearing my glasses if I go out in the garden looking for hedgehogs (they taste delicious HAH AHah hahahah ah ah ah ah ha ha hha ha ha ha hahah ha haha haha ha ha ha). Add to this the fact that a lot of the very earliest evidence for man can be found in caves and potholing is still a popular sport made me ponder the very distinct possibility that the human race is in fact rather less a great ape as a rather weird sort of Monkey Mole or maybe a Mole Monkey.

I mean what was the first thing that man started making back in the stone age it was burial mounds or as the very hairy Great Apes would say as they pointed at the large mound. . . . . . . WOW . . . .  ****** look at the size of that mole hill. 

I don’t want to be a mole . . . . . . . DAMN.

Oooooo that reminds me Stargazing Live with Professor Brian Cox is on the TV tonight. . .  

Why do humans like different stuff . . . The Big Question

I have just enjoyed a rather good Indian takeaway and am now drinking a nice cup of tea made by me. Interestingly the Indian restaurant makes great food but their tea is rubbish. I have tried to get them to make weak tea in the past but they just can’t understand the concept and it arrives like a cup of crude oil, ready to take the hairs off your chest and make you sing like Tiny Tim on helium.

Anyway this has made me ponder one of those big questions which is the vague theme of this year’s blog. Only because you were all getting bored with the day to day life of me doing my day to day stuff and writing a daily diary.  Yes the big question is . . . . . . Why do humans like different stuff. . . .  At first this might seem like a silly question but is it, you see in nature Lions eat Gazelles or Zebra, they dont go . .  AAAAhhhhh I wanted vanilla ice cream I don’t like raspberry ripple ice cream.  So why are humans so damn fickle about stuff why will one chap like pink and one like orange but with a subtle hint of blue.

I think we have to put this down to evolutionary development. To many (well mostly humans) humans are the pinnacle of evolutionary development on earth, we have invented the wheel and the screwdriver. However all species of critter on Earth will diverse to some degree in order to cope with environmental changes that may occur such as drought, flooding, temperature change or food sources vanishing. The problem for mankind is that humans are the first critter on planet Earth to change his environment to suit him rather than the other way round. This is OK while its all in control but just lately it has all sort of got out of hand, humans are ironically too successful as a species and have to put it bluntly buggered the planet a bit (I know a strong word for me indeed).

The thing is though, we are at the end of the day just another critter evolving on planet Earth in order to continue as a successful species, we are programmed to do this and have no free will to do anything else.  But as we are now slightly detached from nature thanks to things like central heating, cars, aeroplanes, supermarkets, chairs, Indian takeaways and many many other things, our genetic diversity has gone a bit odd taking an un-nature turn.

What this means is that some of us will like flock wallpaper while other will prefer a nice painted wall, or maybe you will find you prefer a city flat to a county cottage in the country. All well and good, but I suspect when it comes to the crunch and our environment makes a sudden change it seems unlikely that only those who eat coffee fudge ice cream and prefer a nice floral wall paper with matching rugs will survive. The rest of us dying out because of our taste in soft furnishing and liking lemon bon bons from the old corner sweet shop which sadly has become extinct.  

Fingernails . . . the Big Question Answered

Well I was asked a question in cyberspace the other day about fingernails, no not the nails you can buy to nail fingers to walls, but fingernails at the end of fingers.  I can’t remember the exact question (sorry Miss Lily) but it was all about their purpose and stuff. And this is an important question because it is not one that Charles Darwin or the Pope ever used in their epic battle of theory v theology.  One the Pope always used to win, but mainly thanks to the Spanish inquisition, folk never argued with the Spanish inquisition. As history has often told us religion can be a bit iffy in its methods of persuasion, anyway this a distraction from the issue of finger nails.

So let us consider fingernails in evolutionary terms what was there function and what are they. Well we know they are made of the same material as hair which explains why they grow constantly, but do they perform something useful like pointing. . . . Well NO.

You see man's nearest ancestor on Earth is the chimpanzee and they don’t do much with their fingernails either in fact in nature most critters don’t use fingernails. The main exception to this is cats, they have fingernails but they are known to us as claws. So this must mean that man and cats are closely related in some odd way, it can’t be a coincidence that they are one of man's closest domestic animals that share (or takes over) his house and life. Even both our main food sources originate from supermarkets.

So it appears that the primary evolutionary purpose of fingernails was to catch mice. This now defunct function in man however has been lingering in the subconscious of the human race for thousands of years and has been the driving force behind mans technological development as we worked relentlessly towards our new goal, the artificial mouse which has finally reached its pinnacle with the Optical Mouse as used in most homes to move that little cursor about on our computers. We are reconstructing the cat playing with its furry toy.

Theology has still never resolved the issue of fingernails and religion is still uncomfortable about why God created them.  If you ask the Pope about them he will raise two fingers in the air to show you his fingernails, shrug his shoulders and then say something to you in Latin which is best not translated.    

The Ritual Feast of Autumn and the Evolutionary Development of the Pointy Stick.

Today has seen two major events to write about, well when I say major I am not referring to world events because at this point in time I have not heard the news today, so will assume that most world events are continuing as predicted (some good, lots of bad, a few happy and lots of sad)……..

No these events are in world terms Micro Events, another good reason for Micro Gods, they are more attuned to the smaller events of the individual. The first was the evolutionary development of the pointy stick; I have warned of such things in my diary in the past and how it can all end in atomic bombs and angry politicians. But this was an evolutionary development for the greater good of man. I have developed a pointy stick saw, a device for trimming trees and small branches out of the reach of mankind.

I have long thought that there is a market for a lightweight telescopic device that you could attach a wood saw or other such items to, in order to reach places that the human arm can not, but I am not aware of anything suitable. Maybe I should go on that Dragons Den TV show and show them my new pointy stick saw. I was able to use my pointy stick saw to trim a few branches that needed trimming that were hanging beyond the Zombie defence system, there is always the worry that one day Zombies will learn to climb trees or scurry about in ventilation shafts.  What ever happened to that Mr Shaft bloke he was the Mr COOL of his day before that annoying Harry Potter chap turned up.

The second major (Micro) event of the day was the Ritual Feast of Autumn where were all celebrate the success of growing our winter supply of food by having a huge feast and eating it all. . . . . . . . These events take place across Britain about now (well in rural communities anyway) and are one of the reasons for the development of the supermarket, since folk discovered they have eaten their entire supply of winter food in a celebratory feast.  Iron age man worked hard at avoiding this happening year on year by shutting down all the stone circles, but of course by then the convenience of convenience food and the rise of the supermarket had taken hold. Lets face it us humans would much rather pop into a nice store and buy stuff than all the agro of chasing a buffalo across a field with a pointy stick, even the revolutionary pointy stick saw…..

Ooooooo Yes Mr S. and Mrs I. came and helped eat all the food, which was good, and Mr S also helped me to establish North, apparently Northern Zombies are more formidable than those down South.  We now plan to chill and do the Sunday things of modern life, although it’s too late to go to IKEA.

.

.