Einstein, The Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory and a Chicken

While listening to the wireless this morning there was a little article on about Einstein who as we all know was a clever chap. I did not hear all of what they were saying because it was before 9.00am and far too early for me to focus on Einstein or even the cat at that time of the morning.  Anyway I sort of heard someone say something about how his theory of relativity resulted in a rational structured model of the Universe.

Well it was that statement that finally woke me up, well when I say woke I grunted and sort of pored tea into myself and waved at a terrible blinding light, which turned out to be a bed side light.  You see saying the Universe is structured and rational fails to take into account something rather important and that is time.  OK yes I know what you are thinking, saying Einstein has not thought about time is like saying the Chicken has never thought about crossing the road.

But the key point is not so much time, but the rate at which time passes or the time, time takes to pass. Think of a car crash if you slow it down so that the few seconds it takes can be watched over a period of several hours then it becomes a predictable event. We can watch things fly about hit one another and predict the outcome.  Well the Universe is basically a car crash in slow motion, our own life span is so short relatively, that we only see a tiny fraction of the event and it all looks rather structured.  If it was speeded up millions of times it would just appear to be a rather chaotic and disorganized fireworks display.

So consider the following options

If I was to say the Earth will be destroyed in ten million years folk would say Gosh well that’s OK and carry on without a worry.

If I then said the Earth will be destroyed in one thousand years folk would say well that’s not long is it, but hey I’ll be OK.

If you tell folk the Earth will be destroyed in one day’s time folk will run about panicking and eating ice cream.

You see it is not the event that is scary but the timing, tell a Mayfly the Earth has only one day left and he will say that’s an entire lifetime, Phew that is lucky for me.  It is a known fact that Andromeda and the Milky Way will collide in about four billion years and that the moon is moving away from earth at about two inches a year and will one day vanish off and cause chaos in our own solar system. Plus the sun is due to become a Red Dwarf and will swallow the earth up. You see the Universe is just Chaos theory in slow motion so when I heard that Einstein’s Theory of Relativity was been used to suggest the Universe was structured I thought Noooooooooooooooo the Universe is chaos. . . . Well mine is most of the time.

Anyway don’t panic the Earth will not be destroyed for at least a few more weeks yet so there is loads of time . . . . AH well a bit of time and as I have already said time is entirely an abstract idea.

Professor Brian Cox, the Muddy hole and the Haynes Zombie Survival Owners Manual

As yesterday was my birthday it means that today I am an entire year older than I was yesterday, now that’s a lot but its OK because as we all know now by eating Bacon Butty’s I have proved conclusively that I will live to the approximate age of 3489.2 years old.  OK it may not be conclusive because lots of folk here have said my maths was rubbish and it was like trying to understand Einstein written in Chinese backwards while riding a unicycle blindfolded. 

As a special Birthday treat I have been allowed outside to dig holes and hunt for Zombies, this is always a good way to pass the day, sliding down the muddy banks while some sort of monster or the like snarls at you. All I can say is never enter a muddy hole without a pointy stick, interestingly this is not  a useful tip I have seen in the Haynes Zombie Survival  Owners Manual (a grand book) that I received yesterday as a present from Mr F.  I have a feeling the reason it is not mentioned may be to do with the fact I spend more time in muddy holes that the average chap. It was never my intention in life for this to happen, but life is like that, you look into the future, see a mountain to climb, set off on your quest head help high full of ambition and enthusiasm and then all of a sudden you slip into a muddy hole.  Anyway I quite like them now they are bright warm cosy places (sorry I mean cold dark wet places), a small and interesting mini world of things (worms).

While I was sliding about in the muddy hole fending off Zombies and the like I noticed that in real life Zombies are a little less stereotypical in appearance than many publications would have you believe.  And I am still not sure if the one with a bolt through his neck was a Zombie or not, but he was definitely not friendly and said he wanted to eat Brian’s. . . so I was able to send him on his way a bit confused, but happy with the instructions to get to Brian’s house. I sent him to see that nice Professor Brian Cox, he is always doing experiments with electricity and the like on folk. I’m sure he will be interested in a chap (monster) with his head held on with a bolt. . . . . . . . . 

  

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The Ups and Downs of Life, and the Capacity of the Brain

As you know over the last few days I have done this and that and also moved stuff here and there, all very good but it appears I have tweaked my back now and so it is rather sore and so I cant do triple somersaults on the high wire while riding a unicycle and juggling burning torches. As it happens I could not do them before but my brain would tell me that I could very easily if I so chose to do so, brains are like that always convinced that the body they are attached to is better than it is. In fact I think it would not be unreadable to say the greatest cause of accidents today is brains thinking beyond the capability of the body.

Even I have fallen fowl of this in the past by moving a washing machine/drier single handed into a cellar and then realizing once it was over the first step that just maybe it was rather heavy to move on your own down a steep set of steps. However as I was on my own at the time my brain had to convince my body that it was possible, and so no harm was done once the builders invisibly mended the hole in the wall.

What a rotten day it has been today just like last summer with rain and wind and flooded roads, there is nothing quite like a British summer they are more fickle that the ficklest fickle thing you could think of. . . . . . . . . Talking of which.

The Ghost Writer was in his office today and it appears news is starting to emerge of what will be happening now that all the funding for the office he works in has gone. It appears the office might well go although he says he will almost certainly be told he has to move all the IT stuff (there is loads of it) to another office already full of stuff, It is strange that no stuff comes along for ages and then all of a sudden there is stuff everywhere but not necessarily in the right place. He also has a back problem now and the prospect of moving mountains of IT equipment let alone rewire it all up is something he is not looking forward too. But it also appears that his work colleagues who do other non IT stuff are loosing loads of working hours so things are going to be a bit tough for some of them, not what you want when the weather is so rotten, or someone accidentally drops a washing machine through your wall.

Ooooooo yes the cat is feeling better but he has been out in the rain

And finally here on the blog I must add a big thank you to The Woven Tale Press A-Z Special Edition folk for using a letter from my own A to Z, it is good to be included as one of the twenty six posts out of all the hundreds they could have picked particularly when I am a rather grumpy sole. So why not have a little peek it looks rather good although the drawing on the letter V is rubbish .. . .. . .. . . … . Just click on the pic.