The loss of cyberspace and the survival of a goldcrest

As I type this it appears I am devoid of access to the wondrous world of cyberspace which means that I cant annoy anyone what so ever in the cyber-world, not that I was planning to go out of my way to do so in particular, but being a grumpy chap one has to be prepared for the unexpected. Talking of which I have just saved a tiny Gold Crest from a fate worse than death when it hit the window right next to me as I was disposing of a few Bay Leaves having just given the bay tree (bush) a bit of a prune.  The poor little Gold Crest was well stunned so I had him, her, it, in my hand to keep it warm while I did stuff, although it does mean it is covered in plaster dust. It is not easy to do stuff with a tiny frail little critter like that in your hand so it has been put on to the summerhouse roof to recover (hopefully), I will check in a bit.

I have also just this second had a phone call to inform me tonight I am drumming so come 7.00 pm (in a couple of hours I will be engrossed in the rhythms of Africa as I play Djembe to the great gods in the sky. It is important to play to the gods and one should never just make a lot of noise for the sake of it, I mean only an IDIOT would do that . . . . . . AH DAMN. 

Well it appears the little Bird has flown off so must be OK and the internet appears to have returned so all is well again despite the fact one of the cats is wagging its tail, but it always wags its tail . . . . . . AH no hang on take everything I said about the internet being back, back. It is not back. . . . .  The joys of technology, do you know that my faithful African Drum has never once failed to work when I play it and there is not a single bit of modern technology in it.

Last night as I was about to vanish off to bed I suddenly found that my Twitter account was being followed by JK Rowling; well that was very very odd indeed, but when I checked this morning I discovered it has been followed by the wrong JK Rowling who appears to look like the other one and talks about old Harry Potter like they are old pals from the days of sitting in the café with a trusty ball point pen.  I have to say it is just a bit odd and given the choice I would prefer having a real one rather than a fake JK Rowling following me on Twitter.  Anyway there is no challenge in making a fake one like seagulls, stroking their heads as they recite . . . . Who’s a Pretty Potter then . . . . Harry wants a peanut. . . . . . .

OK well that’s about it for tonight I will be off to have a Baked Potato with cheese salad and various dressings. . . 

All I need to do now is wait for cyberspace to return.

Well that took a while and that’s for sure. . .  

The very final Word on the Brazil 2014 Football World Cup

The 2014 Brazil World Cup has ended now and normality returns, which is my case has turned out to be cutting the grass. This is a mighty fall; only the other day I thought I had got my hands on the Holy Grail and planned to become a slightly friendly evil ruler of everyone in the entire world, with the help of the trusty band of RATs (Radical Abstract Thinkers).  I noticed that the Androids of the Knights Templar have had a terrible shock today when they realized the World Cup is not the Holy Grail and that they had been tricked by the Elvis Impersonator called Dave from Wolverhampton who pretended to be the Pope and implanted the idea in their minds that the World Cup was the Holy Grail. He . . .  it turned out had a bet on Germany to win for huge sums of money and was going to use any means possible to achieve his Goals (no pun intended again). So it seems the entire Football World Cup has been controlled by a man called Dave. All I can say is that once you know that somehow it loses it sparkle a bit, OK I am not a football fan and it did not have much sparkle for me, even less that the Elvis Impersonator. It’s a bit like the entire formula one racing circus being controlled by a man called Bernie  . . . . . . . . AH DAMN.  OK it could be worse he could be named after one of the Goons . . . . . . AH DAMN again.

So now the German Androids of the Knights Templar has melted into the Amazon Forest to continue their eternal quest and the world . . .OK Britain . . . OK Scotland gets ready for the next sporting event The Commonwealth Games.  . . . . . . . .HANG ON that Queens Baton looks a bit Holy Grail-ish . . . . . I wonder.

I did notice today that the Sports Press on the BBC have said what a great Football World Cup it has been and they have enjoyed every minute of their time at the matches, the luxury hotel, food drink and trips all on expenses . . . . . . . NO NO I KNOW I am just a grumpy cynical spoilsport (no pun intended).

Ooooooo yes I will be drumming tonight so normality is BACK, and I did see that Super Moon on Saturday and Sunday it was awesome.  

The Chemistry Set, the Cat and the Drum

I feel I need to discuss Chemistry in a little more detail after yesterdays drawing . . . . WHY I hear you type. . . . . Well if for no other reason than it is always a good start point for a drawing and as I will be heading off to put my feet up and scribble something on a sheet of paper to go with this diary entry, this is a good start point, I do not do cute, in fact I could not draw cute if it came up to me and sank its fangs into my leg and tried to bite my ears off while screaming like a mad banshee chasing a seagull . . . . . .

Anyway back to chemistry and the old favourite the chemistry set. It has been popular for a long long time and first can to public notice when Alchemy was at its peak with every Tom Dick and Harry trying to make stuff into gold. However that is a tricky process and folk soon got bored as their efforts were rewarded with piles of stuff that was not gold and then getting told of by family complaining of piles of stuff everywhere.

The first really successful chemistry set was the one marketed by Professor Frankenstein who coined the catch phrase  . . . .  A Chemistry Set if for Life not just for Christmas . . .  A saying that seriously annoyed the local villagers who were fed up with the professor making life all the time in his laboratory or as the villagers would call it . . . . . . . .  Monsters.  Then the introduction of Chemistry for Mummies brought about a whole bunch of new fans to the joys of Chemistry and saw a large increase in the sales of bandage.

Sadly modern health and safety issues have resulted in  rather limited options these days and rather than a large selection of acids,  body parts and a useful selection of electro-mechanical items to kick start your new little (or large) pal into life, your limit is to turn the goldfish blue or at best make the cat glow in the dark.

 Guess you must be wondering what I have been up too the last couple of days well to tell the truth not a great deal . . . . . . . . But the cats glow in the dark now so Well Cool….. and I appear to have turned a gold watch to rust. . . . . . AH DAMN….I wonder if the Ghost Writer will notice.

Oooooooo in other news my Drumming partner and I have come up with a brilliant but simple drum accessory that will make us a fortune, we just need to refine it a bit and give it a cool drum accessory name that folk will think I need one of them NOW….. 

Wood, steam and meteors (abbreviated)

Dad has built a huge steam powered mutant man eating parrot (no the parrot does not eat mutant men) he said his plan was to use it to protect Captain Flint who as most of you will not know is the parrot who insists he is at least five hundred years old and knows where the gold is hidden. Anyway no one will nick Captain Flint now that’s for sure.

I was helping the Ghost Writer shift stuff today and as a reward was given another wooden desk and a load of wood shelving, wood is good you should always hang on to any that is being thrown out . . . .  after all as the old saying goes Wood does not grow on trees you know . . . . . . AH OK it does but that is not the point.

Anyway due to my good deed helping the Ghost Writer and then myself and my drumming colleague drumming, we were drumming in the meteor showers which are due tonight, plus the fact I am about to go and shout at the meteors, (I do like to shout at meteors as it is good luck) tonight’s diary entry is rather short and will end rather abruptly any second now. No I mean it, I must go and look at the sky…..

So bye

Summer, sunsets, drumming and alien spacecraft

Today has been hot and sunny and rumour has it, it will remain hot and sunny here for at least the following week. One thing I do know about weather is like myself only the other day, weather likes to maintain a state of equilibrium so the good weather here means that there has been some terrible weather elsewhere, I believe in central Europe, I have been busy so have not yet seen a news.  However both myself and the Ghost Write found ourselves trapped the wrong side of glass rooms that were rather hot, the Ghost Writer battling the demons of IT, breaking down the gates of a laptop that was determined that no one shall pass. But the Ghost writer showed no mercy and wiped the mind of the laptop tuning it into a docile puppy eager to please.

I on the other hand was doing mathematics working on the algebraic equations for the flight of seagulls, all was well until Esmeralda got bored and decided that a cookery class was more fun, so we all had seagull risotto for lunch which was well yummy.

Anyway tonight myself and my drumming colleague sat on the patio and drummed the sunset in (I note I got a photo of three alien spacecraft heading towards the woods), while a load a mayflies and a dragonfly flew about and a frog ate a large wasp. I was a bit worried about the frog, wasp stings are not nice so swallowing a live wasp and a large one at that seemed foolish, but I think frogs eat first think second, much like Freddie’s ferret who spent the afternoon trying to swallow a large seagulls head.

I am now drinking tea eating Prawn crackers (as you do) and writing this, I know by the time you read it I will have eaten all the crackers finished my tea and will be chilling as it has been a long long day and I need to spend a small bit of it doing nothing…..   

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Drums and the science of customer psychology

I have arrived at my diary but as yet have not decided what to write about because I spent much time drumming earlier and although African drumming is very good for you the one thing you can’t do it contemplate the text of an eccentric diary while drumming. We created some new drum beats tonight though but I did not record any of them, which means that they will now be lost for ever, as we never remember what we played last time when we meet up.  I have also had to deal with the stress and strains of a mad Ghost Writer who has hidden under my bed saying that there is Microsoft technology chasing him and he needs to hide from it after a day long battle of wits to install certain software on certain Pc’s for certain people in a certain place leading to an uncertain conclusion. And apparently he has to go and learn how to use a fangled new database that sounds like a dog’s name next week so he can show other folk how to use it. As he says no one in their right mind would get him to show other people how to use anything on a computer because he is left handed and hits computers with frozen food. In particular CHIPS  . . . .. . . . . . . .HAH HAHHAH HAH HAH HAH HAH AH hah ha hah hha hah ah ha hahh ah ah hah ah ah ahahh ahah ahah.

I was doing IT as well today at school it appears that it is very important and everyone should know how to deal with modern technology or we are all doomed, as technology is the future of the world. I did say to the IT teacher that technology is fundamentally flawed and that it has one weakness that means it will never take over as has been predicted in many a film or book, but he said it was a very likely possibility that it might. However it was easy to prove him wrong by nipping down to the caretakers office and prodding the main fuse box with a garden spade which meant that I was able to perform some simple quantum physics on the back of a postcard and the IT teachers main server remained as silent as the school goat who was feeling a little ill after accidentally eating several green polyester jumpers in the out of town supermarket after they moved stuff about to confuse the punters, the goat getting spring cabbage and polyester confused, easily done.

Why do supermarkets do stuff (move things about) like that all it does is start fights among the shoppers as the meander aimlessly and get grumpy because they cant find the bacon or cheese or ice cream or polyester jumpers. The one thing I have noticed that does not ever move about is pet food, but apparently there are reasons for this relating to the science of customer psychology in retail environments according to the science teacher, there are some things you just don’t do…….. 

             

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A short sharp tale of country folk, and forgetful drumming

Tonight I'm afraid is going to be a short sharp tale of country folk, because after a day of this then that, and the general activities of life and trips to the academic heart of the academic place of learning where I am taught things. I then returned back to the place from where I started otherwise known as home. I then ate food and thought about stuff briefly before realizing that my drumming colleague was due to arrive, which he did. We then drummed and played some rhythms that we had not played before because we as in general forgetful and forget stuff. It is one of the things we specialize in forgetful drumming; then we reached the point where my drumming colleague Mr P had to return to the point from where he started otherwise known as home (his home not my home).

I then made the fundamental mistake of chilling out in front of a log fire, I say chilling but it was in fact warm; it is one of those saying that is fundamentally wrong, chilling in front of a log fire is a paradox. The result of this however is that time has ebbed away and there is now no time to write this, OK there is time to write this, but not what I would write if I had more time which I don’t.

Ooooooo yes two things my drumming colleague Mr P has a book all about muddy holes and is something of an expert (what a strange world it is) and WOW its been windy today, why has it been that windy why cant we have some sun and piece for a while, I think I may be required to stick some thing sharp and pointy into the works of dads weather machine, every time it is switched on we get weather.

And the Ghost Writer says if folk blindly press buttons on certain things on a computer network that can change IP addresses they should not be entirely surprised when bits of the said network don’t work. . . . . .   

And Heavy Harry is meowing .. . . . . . .FOOOOOOOOOD.

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Putting things in a safe place and drilling holes

I chopped some logs today and drilled a hole in a wall and found some cables for the digital studio in order to help multi-track my drumming, I found the cables while looking for something else in connection with the hole in the wall.  I had put the item I could not find in a safe place last time I found it knowing that I would soon be needing it, but I can not remember where the safe place is now . . . . . .DAMN. This is not the first time I have not been able to find something in a safe place and so I have come to the conclusion that the least safe place to put something is the safe place, unless it is say for example a very large box with a narrow pointing at it saying safe place. And my advice is not to have lots of safe places either but just the one that has space for everything that you might wish to keep safe.

So I am abandoning the search for things in safe places now and hoping that maybe I might find it tomorrow. In fact I think that is it again for the day. These sorts of things tend to happen in the Winter months I run out of steam a bit quicker than I would in the summer. I have just checked what was happening this very day last year and as it happens President Putin was dancing on top of the Ritz hotel in a re-enactment of an old Fred Astaire movie as he started his presidential campaign. I spent the day making an L shape rather than this year, drilling a hole and we had a curry for dinner, and this year we did not. And a year ago tomorrow we had the very first snow of winter….

It just goes to show how useful a daily diary can be….  

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Drumming and Hurricane Sandy (it is not a superstorm it is a rotten one)

Tonight’s diary entry I think will be very short because it is late and we are all tired, After a day at IKEA and then in my case an evening of drumming and Chinese food. When I say Chinese food it is not the real thing like Captain Nessman of the High Seas gets to eat at present but none the less it is still very YUMMY. IKEA was a bit of a battle today and it appears there were two main reasons for this, the first it is Half Term so us younger members of society get to run round the way shopping system annoying all the adults; although it back fired a bit and they all annoyed me instead. And secondly it appears it is possible to get a full English Breakfast for £1.50p, sadly I was not allowed to set the dog on the queue or use a flame thrower so I never got a breakfast.

Tonight’s drumming went rather well so that was good, we were drumming to try and appease the great gods of the weather to see if we can subdue the great mega-storm (superstorm) Hurricane Sandy which is slowly heading towards the East coast of the USA.  However all the elements are working to make this worse rather than better so two drummers in the dark of night in Britain I feel is not going to help even if they are extremely good drummers.

I have been able to watch the first pictures of Hurricane Sandy as it reaches the coast on a television set, what is interesting is that they have been evacuating everyone, although there seems to be various members of the media perched in precarious places like bridges or on the beach telling the world that everyone has been evacuated from these places because it is so dangerous; I think we can only assume it is really dangerous when the media are evacuated.

So good luck in the USA with the Hurricane and remember a hot air balloon is not a good method of escaping, although it will travel remarkably fast for a balloon.

Just in case of a high tide in the UK I have prepared myself for the worse, although it is not easy to eat a Chinese takeaway ot drum in this thing

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The strange robot like person.. Drums and straw bails

The strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures no longer bleeps they now speak a bit like Stephen Hawkins, although they hate maths. So it was a bit of a shock to most of the pupils to discover that the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures is in fact Esmeralda or as she called herself ESsss…..MERRRRRR….ELDER, just as we were getting used to calling her Bleep.  I did warn Brian not to snigger and so it is his own fault that he had ‘Never snigger at bionic people’ tattooed on his head with her interchangeable clip on power drill hand attachment. She also told him that he had to tell his parents he accidently walked into a door and it is just a scratch or else.

I did have my suspicions all those mythical creatures that looked vaguely like goats being catapulted towards the supermarket with I Hate Goats written in red was a bit of a give away really.  Still this does not tell you much about what I did today does it.  I have been drumming this evening with my drumming colleague but it is not easy to drum when the Ghost Writer is complaining about having to go all the way to Brecon this afternoon just to fix a problem in 3minutes and 22 seconds on a computer and then driving all the way back again.  And wondering why there are so many square straw bails about this year rather that the round ones, because it means that they (the square bails) can be stacked really high on trailers, and then the trailers can be pulled really slowly by tractors on the main road for miles between Brecon and here.

Not really sure what I did other than drum today although I have lost some smallish bits that attach larger bits together that then make loads of noise, but without the small bits the large bits will make no noise. I do not like making no noise I am not that sort of person…….

Oooooooo before I forget …..I MMMMmmmmmmm forgot …….DAMN Ah yes how come we have such weird phones?

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Cats, Mushroons, Pizza, The Ghost Writer and the the Chant to the Banshee

The Ghost Writer spent the day in his grey office working on a Dell power edge server setting up user protocols. Well that is all very well but hardly very exciting, and I think that is as much information as any of us need about that. The Ghost Writer says that is all well and good for us but he has to spend all day in a grey office doing it for real.

I was at school where in Geography we discussed weather as weather can be extremely interesting particularly in the UK where we like weather a great deal and spent much time complaining about it.

Because in the winter it is too wet and cold or not cold enough to have decent winter weather. None of us like wet and sort of cold. Then in the summer we all complain it is either too cold and wet or too hot and we end up with a hose pipe ban. I must admit I did get the wrong idea about hose pipe bans the first time it happened to us, and I confiscated everyone’s nose pipe (hose pipe). Most people were OK about it but the Fire brigade were a little upset when they rushed off to their first real big fire and only had buckets. I did point out in the old days that is what the fire brigade had to do, which is why all the old houses burnt down I guess.

Sooty the cat lost a life today by trying to run across the pond which bearing in mind the ice was melting was not a good move so he was wet, but the Midgarðsormr did not get him and managed to scramble out. Sooty is a very stupid cat so it is quite possible he might try that again at some point and he still can’t use a cat flap properly. So the cat flap cat trap know to all as the cat catchers cat catcher is still in use to catch cats in particular the big black and white beast.

I have checked the mushroom box again and well mmmmmmm not much has changed since yesterday it is like watching the kettle boil, they say you should never do that too. And we have had home made Pizza for tea YUM…..

OK that’s it I am drumming tonight with my fellow African drummer, we are calling to the Banshees tonight in the dark so that will be GOOD, so I might return later or may not who can tell. (Who Can Tell is the Chinese cousin of William Tell ……………….. HAH HAH HAH HAAHHAH HAH AHAHH HAHAHHA Hah hah ahha hah hahh hahah hah), mum just said IDIOT   

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OK I have been drumming as my African drumming colleague turned up just as I was about to post this up on  the blog. But we have now finished the Chant to the Banshee. ...................... ...................... WELL COOL 

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The Ghost Writers long meeting about strategic organisational structural planning and those insentient drums

The ghost writer called in tonight after a long meeting about strategic organisational structural planning plus an organisation open day and then the AGM, so he is well spaced out. He is also not a fan of night driving these days. But then he is old and it is a well know fact that the older you get the harder it is to drive at night. He says that God bloke better have a decent master plan for everyone getting old and knackered.

Sorry but  I am very late tonight I have been drumming with one of the drummers from our little group, only there is just the two of us left now. Things have been picking the group off one by one, and so we are having to take care just in case we (the last two as in me and him) get pick off as well. It is life getting in the way again of important things like drumming and playing guitar and writing diaries.

We had a phone call tonight from the nice little old lady who used to live in our house, she has finally moved into a house of her own. I think about two days ago, it is good to know she is not sleeping in the wild hills of Mid-Wales any longer, because it is a nice house here (even if it is one of the ugliest we looked at) and it was a bit of a worry to know that it’s previous occupant was doomed to life in the wild hills. It was a wood in the wild hills too so I suspect it was full of bears and bear poo and The Living Dead, walking in bear poo, although she did not mention bears or The Living Dead just that her kettle is missing and she now has a rather posh car battery charger that she never used to have. So she can’t make a nice cup of tea but she can electrocute the cat H HAH HAH HAHHAHAH HAH hhahah hhah hahhha hhah hahh hahah ha……. Mum muttered something at me then; Mmmmmmmm I suspect it was the usual.