An A to Z Coronavirus observational guide. . . Z

Z

Zombies

It is traditional for folk doing the A to Z to end with a swarm of Zombies and it’s a tradition I plan to continue. Now you may say well that’s not right the Coronavirus might be dangerous but it does not turn folk into Zombies. Well that is true but the fact is it is not the virus that will turn you into a Zombie it is the precautions we take to social distance and isolate under lockdown. 

Many can cope OK . . .  I do, I just pretend every day is Sunday, but others don’t? (that's others dont cope rather than others dont pretend everyday is Sunday) I noticed a certain designer fashion business had changed its target market and was doing well selling hoodies and tracksuit bottoms.  This is a slippery road to self-abandonment. I mean who shuffles about aimlessly wearing hoodies and tracksuit bottoms wondering what to do and forming huge queues outside supermarkets. . . . . . . . Well Zombies do. And don’t think I’ll be OK I won’t slide down this slipper road; because this is the new normal. In a years’ time we will have all succumbed to it as our mental resistance is slowly broken down. It is a terrible fate and one that as time passes becomes more likely as the powers that be talk more and more about how things may need to change for many years.

Maybe it’s a diabolical plan by those in power to finally supresses the masses. And on that cheery note it is time to End the A to Z of 2020 . . . . . . Thank you for reading

It wont get Me

An A to Z Coronavirus observational guide. . . M

M

Managing Your Time

If you are classed as a Key Worker then you are either working normally or find yourself under huge pressure trying to do your job. Folk like nurses and doctors for example are not only struggling with the sheer numbers of people they have now got to deal with, but also find they are at a much higher risk than most at catching Covid-19.  Most Key Workers are brave and should and are getting much credit for everything they are doing.

There are many though like me who are as I have said in a state of Lockdown. It initially sounds great sat at home chilling and enjoying all this free time. Only it has a dark side because not being able to travel means that a life at home could become a nightmare as the daily routine fades and laziness and malaise creep in. To avoid this some time management and discipline is needed. You need to get up in the morning, wash, dress, shave, eat breakfast and ponder the days tasks. If you don’t have a task then contemplate one, a new skill or one of those jobs that you planned to do three years ago.

Don’t find yourself wrapped in a sweaty duvet covered in tea stains thinking I just don’t care as you realise that you have spent most of the day in bed and have squashed the canary. And the remains of your last meal are stuck to your foot.  OK if you have teenage children then this is their natural state, but it is not normal for the rest of us. So you will feel better in the long run if you do stuff or learn new stills even if it’s only juggling or as I did the first couple of days repot all the succulents and cactus, yes all 100-ish of them.

OK you may not be allowed to do this

unless you have a huge garden

The arrival of Doomsday . . . . . The Coronavirus known as Covid-19

SO I guess you are thinking Hey this diary is very quiet plainly there is nothing much happening in the world. Well that is not entirely true because sort of out of the blue . . . (well out of a Chinese fish and wild animal market it appears) . . . has arrived the doomsday virus (Covid 19). Actually it is not a proper doomsday virus unless you are old and frail or have other health issues, but folk in general like the idea of doomsday so have decided to runabout panicking and waving their hands about or I should say washing their hands more than they have ever done before.

It is a curious thing this virus because it seems to spread faster than something very very fast indeed like for example a cheetah tied to a rocket.  The result of all this is economic Armageddon as stock markets crash (well that’s my savings a bit messed up) and an entire world panic buying anything they can stash away to eat that will keep them going when they have to lock themselves into their homes for several months to avoid becoming Zombies or worse.

There are of course always odd things that happen when folk panic on mass like an obsession with panic buying toilet rolls, something which ironically in not in short supply as manufacturers have upped production to meet the public’s desire for them. Although the public have decided you just cannot have too many toilet rolls. Or bars of soap now; I understand that one let’s face it half the public never washed their hands much until the coronavirus (covid 19) turned up so they have discovered a whole new thing to master.

Now you may think that there can be no upside to any of this as it’s the nearest thing to doomsday the world has experience in years, yet there are a few. Suddenly one of the most environmental bad things us humans do has plummeted. Yes flying, aeroplanes, no the aeroplanes have not plummeted but they are really bad environmentally and now they are not allowed to land anywhere so can't take off.  The Chinese have banned wild animals markets (again) so that is great as they were eating animals kept in terrible conditions or in danger of extinction. This time I suspect the ban will remain permanent. China will not want another virus entering the life of all humans on the planet.

Finally here in Britain the one positive thing is no one even mentions Brexit now, it is all but forgotten and by the time it crops up again the world could look very different indeed.

Well I may be back again soon I mean we are all locked up in our homes and listening to the news at present which is not very cheery.  

And as some of you know I have had a long running battle with Zombies as they try to sneak into the garden and at present they appear to be smiling at me through the windows . . . . . MMMmmmmmmm That’s not meant to happen.

Cows, Zombies and Me, but not Football.

(32....)

I am still working on the workshop; progress is exceedingly slow at present because not having a design can lead to technical issues as you progress. One of which I am trying to sort out in a neat way so that no one will ever know I might have made a design error. And I have almost finished . . . . Phew . . . . It is not structural so the workshop will not fall down, but I needed to sort it before I put the corrugated sheets on the outside walls or that would have been so much harder. Anyway that should now be a piece of cake . . . . . That’s an odd saying. Why something being relatively easy should be linked to a piece of cake makes no sense to me. If someone asked me to make a piece of cake I would consider that extremely difficult indeed. And not a piece of cake even if it was actually a piece of cake if you get my drift.  I mean I can make ginger biscuits dead easy and damn good ones too, but cake no.

I have been out this evening saving a cow which had got onto the road and was well spooked. Not helped by idiots driving too fast and refusing to slow down for the poor critter. Anyway the farmer who owns the cow turned up and it is now safe in its field again. . . . We suspect it may have been Zombies that released it. For reasons I have not yet worked out it seems Cows don’t like Zombies and Zombies don’t like Cows. Actually when you look back on films involving Cows and Zombies it is hard to think of one where both Cows and Zombies feature, generally its either one or the other.

Right I plan to have a cup of tea and a chill not watching football in any form whatsoever . . . . I am not a fan of football and I suspect neither are the Cows or the Zombies. So despite our differences we have much in common.

Cats, Vets, Bamboo Flowers and impending DOOM

I have been busy, very busy in a sort of busy to the point of being well exhausted at the end of the day with a sore back. However it’s the sort of busy that when you reflect and look back on what you have done in the last couple of days seems to be not a lot. I’m sure I can’t be the only person this happens to. Anyway all I can say is that despite what appears to be not much progress with stuff it has been a right old game getting it done.

Yesterday morning after an early breakfast we took the cats to the vets to have various jabs for the things that are not good for cats to catch; and to kill off the fleas. I am not convinced any of the flea products work that well. The vet is a great vet and he is certainly one of the most eccentric I have ever met in my life. He is also Canadian so I am not entirely sure how he ended up in a rural backwater in the middle of nowhere. Most of the local vets prefer farm animals, not only are they bigger but they make more money out of them. This vet though loves small critters, any small critters I think he would be happy to do open heart surgery on a goldfish it the opportunity turned up. Anyway he has one small weakness in his vetting abilities and that he's not only bouncy but he talks loads and I mean loads and loads . . . . Phew. So we were a bit later than planned heading home with two confused cats. They are not used to enthusiastic talkative vets saying stuff like . . . . WOW those are amazing kidneys . . . . . and then making his trainee feel the cat’s kidneys.

So after taking the cats home and feeding them; we headed over to one of our daughters where I made a screened area for her recycling bins which had three shelves and a trellis front to hide everything, plus a small sloping roof to stop the cardboard recycling getting wet. Stuff like that takes a couple of hours to do even for a hardened DIY chap like myself . . . . Phew.

We then headed home ate some food and I was back working on the workshop until I was too tired to carry on.

Today I started on the workshop, then planted three smallish trees, then washed the car something that only happens once every 100 years or so which is an interesting coincidence which I shall come to in a minute. And then ate and watered the garden because it has been rather hot by British standards. (Yes the weather machine is still switch on). . . .

Right this coincidence I referred to, we have a couple of small bamboo plants in our garden. Bamboo is interesting it only flowers once and then dies, but it can live for 100 years before it flowers. Bamboo clumps get split and sold and then split and sold again and again in their life, but once one flowers they all flower across the entire world. And one of ours in in flower.  What I did not know is it is a sign of death, famine and doom across the world, and I have checked with the Zombies and they deny everything and say its Mrs May’s (the British Prime Minister) fault and the ever chaotic Brexit talks. . . . Plus todays European Elections for the European Parliament. I suspect the Zombies are right too. Politics is all a bit odd in Britain at present.   

Our Bamboo in Flower

I was rather pleased with these pictures too

The 2019 A to Z Challenge . . . Letter Z

Z

 Now I think we all know deep down that no one should contemplate Plan Z. Partly because if Plan Z does not work you have nowhere else to go, you can’t suddenly say what’s the next letter? Because there isn’t one. Actually I’m quite pleased about that because it means I have succeeded yet again . . . . . OK I’m a hardy A to Z challenge chap as I have been known to do it twice in a year just for fun, but it’s a lot of work and I have many other things to do now.

Right back to the point there is one more important aspect of any Plan Z which is why we never try them they are always linked to doomed things. For example Hitler was keen on Plan Z and he is far from popular these days and someone made a film called Plan Z which is all about Zombies eating everyone and I don’t think it was popular either. Yes Plan Z’s are it seems, all a bit dodgy.  

There is one final nail in the coffin too there are no Duck breeds that start with Z . . . . I know that is hard to believe but it’s true. And with that shocking fact I feel it is now time to say thanks for reading and that really is it . . . . . . The End

And I hope your own A to Z challenge was a great success . . . . Maybe I’ll be back next year if I can think of yet another interesting twist to pursue….. I always do.

I will return

Maybe not today

Maybe not tomorrow

But

Soon

.At an Alphabet near you.

.

.

.

.

The First Zombie Ballard of Christmas 2015

Zombies under carpets

Zombies in the hall

Zombies in the corner store

Zombies playing with a Ball

And if you ask a policeman

How to escape and get away

You will find he is a Zombie

And nibble at your brain

Almost all of the day

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies having fun

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies on the run

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Tap dancing on the floor

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies tapping at your door

Zombies disguised as cats

Zombies in a tree

Zombies behind curtains

Zombies chasing me 

And it’s no good hiding in the graveyard

Because Zombies like it there

And the vicar will not protect you

Because he is a Zombie

And will not care

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies having fun

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies on the run

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Tap dancing on the floor

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies tapping at your door

Zombies on the tele

Zombies pointing at your head

Zombies in the Goldfish bowl

Zombies in your bed

Zombies are clever beasts

Using their cunning and the their guile

Pretending they are friendly

With their friendly Zombie Smile 

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies having fun

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies on the run

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Tap dancing on the floor

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies tapping at your door

Uncle Jacks a Zombie

So is Auntie Flo

And so is that chap Santa

With his evil Ho Ho Ho

Listen out for footsteps

In the drifting snow

Because it’s probably Santa’s

Little Zombie Helpers

Which means its time to go?

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies having fun

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies on the run

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Tap dancing on the floor

Zombies Zombies Zombieeeees

Zombies tapping at your door

Poetry for Creatures Hiding in Shadows

The pitter patter of tiny feet

Upon the cold, dark and wet scary street

Might be a Witch or a Zombieeeeee

Or the invisible man; who you never see

Or it might be a Werewolf who will loudly howl

Or something scarier on the prowl

Or a Mummy from an Egyptian tomb

Or the Great Winged Dragon of Ultimate Doom

Or a tiny Goblin with a pointy knife

Or that Count Dracula’s demonic bloodthirsty wife

Or it might be a Cat that is ten feet tall

Or a Banshee with its terrible call

Or Uncle Jim drunk staggering home

Or a homemade monster made with bits of spare flesh and bone

Or a Ghost wearing steel toecap boots

Or a Triffid scurrying on its horrible roots

Or the Sandman carrying a Gladstone bag

Or Rumblestilskin or a Psychotic Hag

Or a mad Goat that has eaten too much toast

Or the Haunted Hog that was once a Roast

But one things for sure as you increase your pace

Its cold clammy hand

Will wrap round your face

And its Vampire’s teeth will bite your neck

If you try to turn just to check

Surely you can’t be the victim of such an evil curse

Although it could be

Something

Even

Worse

HAH HA Hah a ha ha a ha ha ha ah ah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah a ha hah

Of Course

The Creature from the Black Lagoon

Ran away

But might come back

SOON

Guy Fawkes. . . The true story behind the nights events.

As is the way of a chap who is disillusioned grumpy and generally disheartened by his stumbling about in the vast  voids of cyberspace with its blackness and its digitally  enhanced digital reality of self indulgence and blackness; I have decided to do a sneaky and repeat something.  You see tomorrow here in Britain it will be Guy Fawkes Night an event that is not celebrated by the rest of the world on account of the fact it is a very British historical event.  So it is an event of which few outside Britain will know anything about, this means that by repeating the story of exactly why we all celebrate with bonfires and fireworks has some relevance today, or folk around the world will be thinking . . . . . . What the hell are those Brits up to now. They are just a weird bunch of mad ex-imperialists with delusions of importance on the world stage. . . . . . . .(AH yes OK that is sort of true. . .But)

So here it is the true story of Guy Fawkes and the Gunpowder Plot. . . . The Government and the powers that be, will tell you differently for their own underhand reasons but everyone knows that Governments are always up to stuff that they do not want folk to know about, and will spin many a far fetched tale to distract us all. In fact it was this paranoia from the powers that be, that is partly responsible for the chain of events way back then. 

So here we have it

The  True Tale of Guy Fawkes . . . . . (Repeated)

Tomorrow here in the UK it will be Guy Fawkes Night( bonfire night, firework night) a night when loads of folk have bonfires, set off fireworks and eat toffee apples and wave sparklers about. However folk forget about why all this started back in 1605 when trying to escape from a large group of Zombies Guy Fawkes leapt into the cellar of the House of Commons. His train of thought (An old saying that led to the other old saying, he has fallen off the rails) being that no Zombie with any sense of taste would be stupid enough to want to eat the brains of a politician. However Zombies cant read so unfortunately followed him. thinking quickly on his feet he happened upon several large casks of gunpowder and thought to himself . . . . .I know I will blow them up (the Zombies, no one else . . . he just planned to blow up the Zombies).

Unfortunately as he was running about avoiding Zombies and trying to set fire to the fuse for the gunpowder which was a bit damp, a large group of politicians arrived in the cellar to see what all the noise was about.  Zombies hate politicians they taste terrible (still true to this day) so they ran off and hid leaving poor old Guy Fawkes standing on a large pile of explosives with a box of matches and because no one liked and still dont like politicians they sort of got the wrong idea about him, thinking he was trying to blow them up. A classic case of political paranoia, I mean as if anyone would think about doing such a thing.

Of course poor old Guy was hung as they did back then for almost everything and it was only afterwards that it was discovered that he was trying to blow up Zombies. So feeling a bit guilty and knowing that no one liked them anyway the politicians thought it best to celebrate him with a jolly uplifting event with bonfires (everyone loves a bonfire) where folk could burn a Zombie on it (everyone loves Zombies). Then after several accidents where the Zombie escaped and ate small children it was decided to burn an effigy of a Zombie instead, which folk like to call Guy after that gorilla that can bend folks.




I will now run off back into the digital blackness of cyberspace to sulk and point at things like seagulls. . . .they get everywhere  

Listening to Wooden Poles and Phoning Home (sort of)

Just in case anyone is wondering why there is a picture of a Zombie

AH I DONT KNOW . . . I sort of drew a Zombie

Sorry about that

Well today I did a bit of painting making the new House Sign look posh, although it looked rather posh anyway so I am making it a bit posher.  It did involve having to go out and buy some paint as the paints I had lurking about in the garage were not only rather old but were not the right colours.  The trip was uneventful except for one small thing that left me pondering, so I thought I know that is a good little curiosity of a thing to mention on my blog.  I think I can not be the only person who thinks Ooooooooo Phew that will make my blog more interesting, when they see something slightly odd.

So I can hear you type do tell us of this curious thing which you have told is curious but then gibber about for ages before getting to the point. So I will get to the point it was a man listening to a pole . . . . Exactly what is all that about. To give you slightly more detail in was a man in a orange day glow jacket using some sort of stick looking listening device, listening to a wooden telegraph pole or maybe it was power, I cant remember now but the poles are about the same size.  Now I have seen folk listening to the ground with purpose made listening sticks it is a common way to hear water leaks underground, but poles with overhead cables. Maybe it some sort of new magic trick being used by those folk at GCHQ who are listening to wooden poles and they can hear every word we say type or even think. I mean its magic so who can tell. But it was a first for me I might at some point Google it and see if it has a rational reason behind it, the only one I could think of and which is sadly very very boring (no pun intended) is they might be listening for Death-Watch Beetle. Those little critters love a piece of wood and I have a feeling it is about this time of year they start all that clicking to their mates.

I know that was far too rational for this blog and therefore I have dismissed that idea as total lunacy. I suspect the truth will turn out to be an Alien trying to Phone home. Aliens have been convinced they can phone home ever since that Steven Spielberg put the thought in their minds. And we all know that it is a futile thing to do; and listening to the post is just going to make you a laughing stock once I put the video on YouTube, so all his mates back on Pluto can see it.     

A short history of Halloween's Origins

Well I admit it this is a repeat of last years post for the same day but the thing is I am busy. . . . . NO really I am not lying, I am very busy . . . . . I mean I have tea to drink and cakes to eat and small things to point at and go OOOOOOooooo what is that then its a small thing, lets poke at it. So this is it; I have even used the same picture, just how lazy is that then. . . . HO HUM . . . And just before I hand over to last year I would like to add that I do have a new idea for an entirely new Halloween story for 2015 that is dead good although it is still in my head, not actually written down yet. Strangely they always seem so much better in my head than they appear written down which is odd. . . (Witch is ODD . . . . .  HA HAHAH hah ah a ha ha haha hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha).

OK back to last years interesting and useful information  . . . . . . .    

Halloween what’s that all about then, is definitely one of the big questions of the moment and it is time someone answered it properly. If you search cyberspace you will be bombarded with loads of stuff, but it will all be a bit wishy washy (no not as in Pantomime but as in vague).  This is what always happens when paganism meets religion, but not here no, you will get to know exactly what’s going on.

Firstly it is important to take note of the time of year, and the weather, this year in Britain is a classic to explain why this all started up. We had a fairly good summer and the sun sort of held on over September and then October arrived and the weather has crashed big time, it is dull, damp and getting cold.  So way back in the days when we were all tribal and waved sticks and worshipped the sun and the like (the good old days) what did folk do to get themselves through the long hard winters, remember there was no central heating unless you were a Roman. Well they had parties or as we like to call them now Rituals, yes everyone likes a party but in general we need a reason for them stuff like birthdays, passing exams, catching your first crocodile and the like.  Back in the old days folk would associate these events with their local god and Halloween also got linked to celebrating the dead. Things were different then, death was not all gravestones tears and flowers, it was big fires feasting and dressing up.  Remember the old ancestors did not vanish they were and are still about and it was good manners to show some respect an maybe burn a huge effigy of an Elk and wear a big mask and go and visit all the locals, eat, drink, dance, cheer and wave pointy sticks.

However main stream religion got involved and said it was a Christian event in a cunning plan to get rid of all these other gods and effigies. But old customs are difficult to get rid of and before you know it small children were doing trick or treat all over the world. In particular the whole event appealed to the USA having arrived with the Irish and Scottish way back (they were good at this stuff) and the spirits of the dead were turned into monsters, mummies, vampires, huge things with pointy teeth, witches and the like. This allowed the corporate business world in the USA to make a killing (no pun intended) by selling all sorts of gruesome characters made out of China’s very best genuine recycled plastic. As well as packets of dodgy sugary things that are needed to give to the swarms of trick or treat children that turn up at your door sort of saying things like . . . . .GIVE US STUFF OR WE SET FIRE TO THE RABBIT HUTCH. . . 

These days with it all being witches and monsters and the like religion has got all funny about it and say it’s the work of the devil. They really should have just left it alone and let the pagans have a party for their long lost ancestors round a big fire and eating and generally having a good time, much like they do at Christmas. . . . . . . AH.

Anyway there you have it that is the Origin of Halloween . . . . sort of    

How to be a successful writer. . . An Easy to Follow Short Guide.

The world of blogging or to be more accurate my world of blogging has hit a brick wall as it appears everyone except the very very hardiest have run off to read the blogs of other folk. I am not sure why this has happened it is all very strange indeed. But I am not downhearted as it gives me an incentive to explore the minds of those folk who have run off elsewhere, in what will probably be a futile effort to make then return and read things again. Well maybe read just the one post and then run off again.

So what is it that will turn the eye of a hardened blogger?  Well as has been mentioned recently by Miss Lily one of the main subjects that bloggers flock to like moths to a lamp post (something I either blogged about or was in my head to write about and I forgot?), is how to write a book. Not just any book though, but a highly successful book that folk will buy in their millions making the writer a wealth person, allowing then to sit in book shops signing books or better still write a blog about how to write a  successful book.

The principles are fundamentally easy so it is possible to miss out the whole write a successful book bit, I mean Einstein’s Physics teacher did not write Einstein’s Principles of Physics but without his teachers he would have become a train driver or something like that. So it is that I can tell you exactly what you need to do to be that successful writer.

Firstly a good book and a successful book may not exactly be the same, sounds odd but sadly very true. Let’s face it Fifty Shades of Grey might have been successful but many have said it written rather badly. . . . I do not know as I have never read it.  It is the sort of book I have no interest in reading, and this is the next rather important point, certain types of book attract more readers that others. Adult romantic fiction is read by huge numbers of women around the world and I guess a percentage of men. Books like Harry Potter appealed too many from teenagers to adults and still does (written rather well), and wizards and Magic are again a subject that is very popular. There is also science fiction, period drama and various mixes of the lot. So pick your target audience with care, appealing to gay unicyclists who love cats if fine and you might write a brilliant book that will be bought by 99% of your target audience, but if that target audience is small then you can kiss success goodbye unless someone thinks HANG ON a film about gay unicyclists who love cats, now that has legs . . . . . . . (and a wheel).

Another important point is editing. You will need a well edited book (I never edit stuff COS), it is not for the readers, but for the publishers. Publishers are a funny lot who will say things like O he wrote there not their or where not we’re or wear or so on and so on. I mean most readers like a good story, and life in reality is not edited and folk write and talk badly in life, but publishers just don’t like it so to get published you need to play the game and write proppper like what I did (sorry doo).

Remember adding some graphic sex and sweaty bodies that heave and have huge yearning swollen parts appears to help loads but not in children’s books, and anyway there are only so many things you can do with a can of squirty cream and a pair of bicycle clips, although it might help if you are appealing to those gay unicyclists who love cats, they are little terrors you know when they are not on their unicycles chasing the cats about with a tin of pilchards.

My final tip is what ever you do, do not write like me or it will all end it a terrible melodrama with Zombies chasing you, and JK Rowling and Steven Spielberg telling you to GO AWAY AND TAKE THOSE PESKY SEAGULLS WITH YOU.

So there you have it everything you ever needed to know about how to write a successful book and all entirely free in one small-ish blog post. . . . 

Yes I'm sorry . . . .  this is a child friendly blog and I have left you having an awkward conversation trying to explain what bicycle clips are for. 

Vampire Propaganda, Zombies and Treasure Island

Have you noticed in recent years how certain monsters in the world of fiction have faired better than others, it is a very odd thing indeed, I mean these days it is almost a positive to be a vampire. It is a long time since vampires were generally grumpy middle aged men biting dodgy women in the middle of the night who then spend the rest of their days looking a bit off colour and laying about all day in boxes of mud in the cellars of old castles.  No these days there are even vegetarian vampires who only nibble the odd vole from time to time when they need a bit of get up and go.  And they are no longer grumpy middle aged folk but teenagers and the like, clearly the world of teenage vampires is something that would leave Vincent Van Gogh (sorry Vincent Price) turning in his grave demanding a medium rare stake.

Even the likes of Werewolves seem to have their decent understanding side and avoid howling in libraries now, I mean in the old days they would have chewed the leg off the librarian and left them propped up against a copy of Treasure Island just for a laugh.

However (I like the word However it crops up a lot in this blog) there is one group who has always drawn the short straw so to speak and never come out well in books or films or even video games. And that is Zombies . . . O yes indeed no one wants to be a Zombie, they are always seen as slow and stupid, not nibble gymnastic scientists who just happen to like to eat a fresh bit of Brain direct from its tin. It is all just a bit unfair and something should be done. . . . Zombies are nice, a bit nice . . . .  should be something small child are taught in School so that they do not succumb to the obvious propaganda of the modern manipulative vampire     

OK I could write more but I have been helping in the hospice shop, well I say helping I wander about looking confused and attempting to keep a few shelves topped up as part of my good deed bit. It is important that we all do something how ever small to make the world a better place, because then the world will be better. . . . OK it probably will not be better as there seem to be more folk making it worse than folk making it better.  So there that’s it I am knackered and off to chill for a bit before I crash out.  

The A to Z Challenge Two Day Special (Day Two) . .

LINK TO PART ONE

So here we are, Part Two of the Two day A to Z special. As we know last night we left the alphabet at halfway with the following

A herd of Llamas stampeding across the Kings land, accidently squash him then. As he is unable to run because he is well and truly stuffed with the flock of Jackdaws in the pie. That were aroused by the smell of ice cream cones, that were crushed in the crash where the incompetent ice cream van driver ran over the herbalist. Who in trying to kill the germs ended up killing the Frenchman who had shot the elephant that had squashed his dog that had eaten the cat stunned by the apple that had landed on his head killing the bee that had stung the ant that was eating the apple. 

And so it continues. . . . . 

A Monster promptly eats all the Llamas that squashed the King that ate the Jackdaws that pecked the Incompetent Ice cream  van driver who ran over the Herbalist who trying to kill the Germs,  poisoned the Frenchman who shot the Elephant that squashed the Dog that ate the Cat that was stunned by the apple that killed the bee that stung the Ant.

Then a Naughty Nudist waving his hands about stops the Monster in his tracks. This of course is the same monster that ate all the Llamas that squashed the King that ate the Jackdaws that pecked the Incompetent Ice cream van driver who ran over the Herbalist who trying to kill the Germs,  poisoned the Frenchman who shot the Elephant that squashed the Dog that ate the Cat that was stunned by the apple that killed the bee that stung the Ant. Lets face it there are not that many Monsters about that eat Llamas.

However a passing Ogre eats the foolish and rather Naughty Nudist who was waving his hands about and the distracted Monster that ate all the Llamas that squashed the King that ate the Jackdaws that pecked the Incompetent Ice cream van driver who ran over the Herbalist who trying to kill the Germs, poisoned the Frenchman who shot the Elephant that squashed the Dog that ate the Cat that was stunned by the apple that killed the bee that stung the Ant.

A rather large PYTHON swallows the now dozing OGRE that ate the Naughty Nudist and the Monster that ate the Llamas that  squashed the King that ate the Jackdaws that pecked the Incompetent Ice cream van driver who ran over the Herbalist who trying to kill the Germs, poisoned the Frenchman who,  shot the Elephant that squashed the Dog that ate the Cat that was stunned by the apple that killed the bee that stung the Ant

OK everyone has had enough now so the Queen out looking for her partner mistakenly thinks the PYTHON has eaten the king so that is the end of the line for it, bye bye Python.

But a huge flock of ROOKS out for revenge of their mates chase the Queen

Seeing a Large submarine a place where rooks tend not to go seems like a good place for a Queen to hide so she climbs aboard and sets sail.

Sadly a Torpedo destroys the Submarine and the Rooks and the Queen (Hey this is not a happy story)

The Unidentified vessel that fired the Torpedo stops to check that the Submarine full of rooks and a Queen has been destroyed

Never stop when Vampires are about because the crew of the Unidentified vessel are to put it bluntly all goners and now members of the Undead.

It is not often that a Whale swallows a load of Vampires but strange things happen at sea.

Then the mysterious Mr X gets involved and turns the Whale into Soup.

To make matters worse a passing Yak who has done no harm to anyone is also thrown into the soup by Mr X along with the Whale.

But then everyone is eaten by Zombies . . . . . Well what can you say, alphabets always end in Zombies.

So The Zombies have eaten the remains of the Yak, Mr X, and the Whale soup which had bits of Vampire floating about in it as well as bits of unidentified vessel, Torpedo, submarine, Rook and the Queen who killed the Python that swallowed the Ogre that ate the Naughty Nudist and the Monster that had eaten the herd of Llamas that  squashed the King that ate the Jackdaws that pecked the Incompetent Ice cream van driver to death, who ran over the Herbalist, who trying to kill the Germs poisoned the Frenchman, who shot the Elephant that squashed the Dog, that ate the Cat that was stunned by the apple that killed the bee that stung the Ant    

        

Phew my head hurts now . . . . . . .