The End of the World and a Slight Error

A certain person has called in from his place of work; it is a place of work that deals with what can be sensitive personal data about members of the public. All sorts of stuff that must be kept secure.  Now as this is a national organisation using various IT systems to store all this data, internet and computer security is rather important, well very important, so this person was somewhat surprised today to learn of a slight error made by someone.  This was not a local error as he would then be held responsible as the local IT guru, but happened up north. Anyway it appears for reasons best known to an as yet unknown person a slight error has occurred.  

Well I say slight it appears one or two files containing sensitive personal data may have been accessible via the internet to everyone. Well I say one or two, but I may mean a few, OK I say a few but a couple of hundred sensitive files is quite a lot. So when folk start saying nearly one thousand three hundred files have been compromised due to what appears to be a grave error, the local IT guru says he is glad it is a long way off as (putting it rather bluntly) much shit will be hitting fans.  It seems that the BBC has become rather interested as well as the press and if the story takes off will not fair well for this organisations reputation. Although the local IT chap says it was not the national security systems, but someone did a very silly thing as far as he can tell.

In other news the six high apple tower still stands as the foreteller of doom and in order to appease the questioning minds of the mathematicians and men of science who read my diary the apples to the side of the apple tower have been moved away, clearly showing that the date stated yesterday for the End of the World is correct. Although for one IT man up north the End of the World may arrive sooner.

Did you notice that I managed that without once letting slip that the local IT man is in fact the Ghost Writer . . . . . . . . . . . . . DAMN… 

  

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Pizza, Marmite Fudge a Blue Sugar Mouse and newts

I have had a long day doing IT stuff with the Ghost Writer, normally that is his area of expertise but he needed someone to use as a human guinea pig to conduct IT experiments on and the only person anyone could think of, who it was felt was expendable was me. Apparently a life in the twilight of reality and cyberspace means I can poke about into a PC and prod RAM and stuff and go oooo no that bit of code does not fit between the bed and the wardrobe and it clashes with the red curtains. It appears this is not how normal IT conversations go between IT folk, but then we are not normal IT folk, well the Ghost Writer certainly is not for a start off he hates computers and says they are the devils work.  He often makes the point that people think by using computers in their office they will use less paper, but the reality is you use more because you can generate more things to print much faster but very often get it wrong at least once.

After a long day of doing IT not only was the Ghost Writer totally spaced out as he is every weak, but so was I. But on my return home and after some pizza and marmite fudge and a blue sugar mouse, I spent the evening doing African drumming with my drumming colleague who is making a pond at present and was wondering if we could sell him some black market crested  newts out of our pond in a sort of nudge nudge wink wink say no more sort of way. Well you know what newts are like, a right bunch of prima donnas.

So there you have it I am late tonight and it is all the ghost Writers fault (again), I bet Steven Spielberg does not have problems with Ghost Writers and computers, and fitting computer code into a  Victorian alcove with an old guilt mirror and flying ducks hanging on the floral wallpaper hand printed in china in 1924.

Sorry it is all a bit of a rush tonight and very late and my brain hurts...... PHEW

The IT Guru and the Office Chair

The Ghost Writer has been in his office all day doing what he does with computers; last time he was there, the office had a slight crisis when the accountant invested all the money on Lottery tickets before running off to a tropical tax haven. So he thought he might find an empty office with dust and tumble weed blowing about, but everyone was there and they were all fairly chirpy.  He thought it best no to ask about the accountant and the lottery tickets just in case, but every three months or so there is a big meeting where everyone gets together and tells everyone else what they have been doing. The Ghost Writer says he hates these because at some point they will all look at him and then he is expected to tell them all what he has done.

It is very difficult to tell a whole room (hall) full of expectant folk that he has been hiding for three months since the last meeting and that if he could remember a whole three months worth of stuff he would probably be off making his fortune in the IT business rather that pretending that he knows all about IT and hoping for the best. Still he is very honest and always tells everyone he does not have a clue what he is doing, but they all laugh and say “of course you do, your our IT chap”. I think the Ghost Writer has mastered Sarcasm better than I have.

He does however have one very important question for his big meeting (in about 2 weeks) and that is . . . . Why do all the bolts and screws keep falling out of office chairs, an important question as, it happens to all of us (well me)

He has told me not to worry about my loss of Wit in cyberspace as there is a special area where everyone who has lost their Wit can go and practice until it comes back called T-WIT-ter. It appears it is good because no one pays any attention to a single thing you say (tweet, so called because most folk feel they are right tweets after a bit).