Friday, 22 June 2012

The Cultural Olympiad, Olympic Art and a man called Kevin

Myself and the Ghost Writer have moved the Cultural Olympian to his new location where a man called Kevin who apparently is famous (I think) is going to do life painting and also paint a man. When I say paint a man he is not painting a picture of a man but is painting the man (I think, or so I am told). I was also told the man is now grumbling because he has just found out that where he is being painted (that’s the building not which part of him) has not got a shower in it so he will remain painted for some time. In fact he may not be allowed on the train home for being too glossy rather that a nice matt emulsion, although he could claim discrimination on the grounds of shininess.

Anyway it took much longer to move the Sculpture than anticipated because it appears that someone lost Kevin. It’s the little things like this that can cause all sorts of problems in the Olympics; back in the days of the Greek Olympics it was common to loose people and once the famous Keviniox Kliniox painted a discus thrower in a rather good stone effect paint much like my own Olympic art. But the paint was rather thick and the discus thrower found he was unable to move as the paint dried. Then Keviniox Kliniox got distracted by a  mad ceilidh or what ever the Greek equivalent was and in the clear up the discus thrower was stored away by mistake. Which is why he looks so life like and his eyes appear to follow you round the room, because his eyes are following you round the room. Sometimes people say they can hear the distant call of “ Agotious o Gearious” Latin for ‘It is not the winning it is the partaking of parties’ but what the discus thrower is saying is “A gottle o geer” that’s a bottle of beer when you cant move your lips due to a thick layer of stone effect paint. 

The Ghost Writer was in the grey office today and it appears that in another grey office one person shouted at another person, it appears that grey is not a good colour for an office.  I am told by the Ghost Writer that it is a good colour for a spaceship as it gives it street cred, where aliens walking out of a pink spacecraft just don’t appear scary. He thinks most offices end up grey because they are an alien environment to most humans and anyone looking happy must be an alien and avoided or they will suck your brains out and steal your photos of their strange spherical Nano-spacecraft.

Olympic art created for the Cultural Olympiad

If none of that made sense to you then it is one of two reasons the first is you are not reading my story everyday which is naughty; the second is you are a normal rational human being …….. Mum just said IDIOT 

A link to the truth of all things



  1. At first I thought you were wrong about a person being traPPed inside the statue, because I figured they would have starved by now. But then I thought about the rate at which they breathe, close to zero breathes per millineum, and lack of self movement, plus cicadas stay underground for 17 years, I think, and if its been 3000 years since the paint job, and 3000 divided by 17 equals something close to 176.47, and a man is at least 176.47 times bigger than a canada, oopz, spell checker, cicada, then yes, I now agree.

    1. Thank you Mr ESB for this valuable validation of my post, I feel this as good as confirms my theory on the famed statue of the discus thrower as fact.

      Insistently the word 'Statue' originates from a very similar incident of about the same period in history when the painted man's wife shouted
      "IS STAT YOU".....?

      ha hah ahhah hAH HAH HAH AH HAHHAH HA

    2. (agreement) hahahahehehehohoha-(breathe)-hahahahaha ho

  2. My mind is now awash with men trapped as statues, pink space-crafts and grey buildings which may contain aliens...I think I need to go and lie down...

    1. I was not entirely surprised to hear that your mind is awash with men Miss Lily...........