Saturday, 11 June 2011

Mr Putin and the Coca Cola policy issue

Well we had people looking at the house today with the objective that they might buy it but they had small children and one of the problems with our house and small children is it is not entirely small children friendly what with the Pit of Doom that contains  the shouting child. And them there is the cliff edge of the eternal fall, which is quite a big drop.

 Dad did explain that a strategically placed gate and a huge fifty foot razor wire fence and security monitors would stop the children from a fate worse than death or death. But mum said that is tactically not a good sales technique for a nice detached house in the rural hills of the Welsh borders. Although it would work well if they were planning a nuclear submarine base, but to tell the truth I don’t think they looked the type really.   

I have been involved in the production of invitations for the preview of the next exhibition in the gallery space of Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop today so things are running slightly behind schedule once again. Its diaries apparently they are something of a commitment and the corporate sponsors say I have got to finish year one by the end of the year, well the fist week of September which will be a year and a bit. If I don’t they force me to sit me in a bath of Coca Cola where I will dissolve and the resulting drink will be sold as a limited edition Cyber Coke with the secret ingredient (Me) as recommended by the dog. I think the dog might be in some secret deal with the sponsors.

My blog which is the other outlet of my diary has strangely become very popular in Ukraine and Russia, in particular the diary entry which has the postcard from Captain Nessman of his pirate ship.  It is now the second most viewed entry and will no doubt become the most viewed in the next few days. The sponsors are a little angry because Steven Spielberg it has been said is not a fan of pirates but ironically Coca Cola is kept in all Russian schools where it is shown to all the school children where the following is explained to them in great detail.

All the children of the power crazed decedent west drink Coca Cola which is not good for them and makes all their teeth vanish or fall out and drives them mad so they no longer function correctly and end up turning into corporate puppets buying pointless items as seen on TV and fight to the death over free gifts attached to Coca Cola bottles.

Ironically youth are rebellious by nature genetically across the world and the result of this is that sales of Coca Cola in Russia have quadrupled under this policy. Mum said that one of her Russian spy friends said that Mr Putin had said the policy needs to change because the present one has no bite. But that is because the Coca Cola has dissolved all the teeth.

I have now been told that the corporate sponsors are planning to remove this entire page and mum and dad have told me off again for mentioning politics and the dog and Rusty the Robot dog are annoyed because they get free Coca Cola from a large company who wish to remain anonymous.  

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