A useful theory for dull parties and queues

I have been absent as a cyberspace diarist for a few days and there are many reasons for this, one of the main ones being I am a rubbish diarist and no one is remotely interested in what I say. I guess there is a possibility some of you might be saying . . . . .  NO NO its not true, well not entirely true, sort of. . . . . . . . .  But I have tested this idea on the cats and have read them various entries about Banshees, Mice, Zombies, Steam Powered Ducks and the origin of the entire universe. And guess what not a glimmer of interest in any of it.  Again some of you will say . . . . . . NO NO it just that cats don’t really like stuff like mice or Lemmings . . . . .  Which is clearly untrue, however I will not let two bored cats destroy the hopes and dreams of a diarist with a very long diary, who is convinced that £245.33p is a fair price for the very nice Steven Spielberg to pay for the film rights to volume one which seems like ages ago now. . . Phew time does fly….

So in order to attract the attention of the masses again I thought, what we need is a good theory about something; everyone loves a good theory about universal stuff bearing in mind the universe is where we all are, milling about in it, and prodding sticks at it in a random fashion.

So this is it a theory about life on planets . . . . . . . You see it is very clear that life on Earth started as a tiny cell based thing milling about in the sea or a hot pool, although at that time it did not prod sticks at things as it did not have hands. Then over millions of year’s life got larger and larger until we reached the dinosaurs who were really big, yes ok there were small ones but that is not the point the biggest were big, really big. 

Something happened that then destroyed all the big ones and life forms got smaller again until life recovered and things got bigger, but not as big as the dinosaurs, but there were some huge mammals and birds. But then man turned up and as sure as frogs are frogs all the big stuff vanished, and even as I type the not so big stuff is also on the route to oblivion. In fact I think we can say as we get closer to the end of the world life on Earth will get smaller until it becomes as small as it started. Man is not that small so it does mean once man is the largest critter on the planet we are doomed. Just look at Mars they are hopeful of finding tiny single celled life on Mars, which is not the beginnings of life on Mars but the End, as Mars once had a good thick atmosphere and back in the day was covered in very large beasts until some smart arse critter arrived and said  . . . . . Hay guys Look I discovered this stuff called Technology. . . . . That is the point in the life cycle of a planet where all the really big creatures vanish and it all starts getting smaller until the beasts get so small they don’t have arms and technology without an arm or nice clean shirt is like having a car with no fuel, or Father Christmas in a Coven.