the master criminals, the kidnap and the SAS

Well I was up nice and early today so planned to have a leisurely walk to the bus for school only I was kidnapped and thrown into the back of some odd looking car and driven to Ystradgynlais in south Wales where I was then thrown into a small room full of computers. At first I thought in might be the FBI and MI6 but they said they were master criminals who were holding me for ransom.

As it turned out they were not very good master criminals because they made several errors firstly they forgot to check if I had a mobile phone which I did. And mum and dad had me fitted with a tracking device when I was a baby because the dog kept selling me for dog biscuits in the shopping centre so they needed to be able to track me down again.  And because dad is a friend of Benny Neckbender, and Benny knows every master criminal so when dad phoned him he told dad who they were and said they were rubbish. And because I was locked in a room full of computers the ghost writer was able to tell dad which room it was, the ghost writer knows all about computers in small rooms.

 So by about half past three in the afternoon dad, the dog, Rusty the Robot Dog  and Captain Flint the Parrot were all ready to raid the building in Ystradgynlais only as it happened an elite squad of SAS were passing and were wondering what was going on so they raided the building with stun grenades and CS gas and machine guns. The master criminals were a bit surprised and run off well limped off very fast screaming and coughing.  So by four o’clock I was heading back home in the back of a car so my diary is a bit late because I needed lots of food as they didn’t feed me all day.

Tiggy Booth-jones                   Wow Rob, sounds as if you have had quite an exciting day!!

 Well I was stuck in a room full of computers and no food.

 Tiggy Booth-jones                   Wot, no food .... and a room full of computers, and you such a young and impressionable lad ......surprised such news did not hit the News at Ten .... all we got was Carwyn Jones droning on.