Skeletons in Cupboards

Back to school today in the bus and the bus driver found the school OK so we started off with English and the teacher talking about the concept of Skeletons in the Cupboard. (Not sure If he has talked about them before or not, but we don’t mind). Anyway I told him about Pirate Pete who has several Skeletons in his cupboard. He has showed me them so I know it’s true.

I told the teacher they were old sailing friends of Pirate Pete’s. He was hoping to get them mummified like the mummified poets that Mercedes collected, but sadly he was unable to get to land in time and so his friends became skeletons instead but he says they are very useful for hanging his clothes on and rib cages make great tie racks. I asked dad after school if he would be a tie rack for me when I am older but he said ***** **** ********* ******  NO *******.

Anyway apparently the English teacher was talking about some other type of skeleton but I got the hang of it after he said it was like the headmaster and his wife who run about in the park on Christmas day with no clothes on, and Boo written in permanent marker pen on their bums.  So I said is it like dad growing all the plants in the cellar with all the foil on the walls and the big lamps but as I told the class the English teacher comes to see dad regularly to get plants from dad so he knows that. The English teacher was a bit worried because George who sits and the back of the class takes notes in a little notebook about all sorts of things for his dad who is a policeman. But I told the teacher that Georges dad takes bribes from Benny Neckbender once a month in a plain brown envelope all in used ten pound notes, which made Goerge cry?  In the end the teacher changed the subject to Shakespeare but I said he used a ghost writer, (Or was it a type writer).

In the afternoon in Metalwork I made a tie rack. The teacher said it was very unusual and that the skull was very life like so I got a gold star. I have taken it home now and put it in my cupboard so have told mum and dad I have a skeleton in my cupboard but mum said IDIOT.

Sooty the Cat is off to the vet first thing in the morning to have parts removed, we have requested that it also has its meow removed before it drives us mad. We hope to collect him tomorrow evening if all goes to plan.

Curry for tea tonight YUM.

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