Sunday, 12 June 2011

The drought the rain and the postman

After the official announcement of the drought in various parts of the UK by the Met office (Metrological Office) the other day, which I heard on the wireless while it was raining. It has rained ever since, today I woke up and it was raining and it is still raining. We now have to wait to see how long it has to rain for before the official drought is over.

Napoleon Beelzebub is not a great fan of rain he quite liked the drought so today we found him sat in the embers of his fire in the inglenook, he usually takes a cosy chair into the inglenook but says they are not that fire proof and nearly always burn leaving nothing but a few springs and screws and sometimes the occasional coin. But they do keep him warm although he seldom gets to finish The Times crossword puzzle as it will go up in smoke very quickly.

Pirate Pete has been feeling a bit home sick for the sea after our trip recently so dad has built him a crow’s nest on a tall mast attached to the chimney on the roof of the house. It has proved very useful as in the morning he will shout Postman ahoy so the postman no longer has to negotiate past the dog or Rusty the Robot Dog. The dog is OK he just likes to make sure all the letters are spelt correctly and eats any junk mail but Rusty the Robot Dog has a in built programming desire to bite the postman. Luckily Pirate Pete has managed to convince Rusty the Robot Dog that the postman is in fact the ghost of the captain of the Titanic. The dog says that Rusty the Robot Dog is still young and impressionable and as he puts it an IDIOT even if he does have six legs and a Nitrogen cooled nano technology Germanium based multi core processor with a fuzzy logic interface (that’s Rusty the Robot Dog not Pythagoras the Dog). Anyway the postman is sort of safe as long as he has the life size model seagull on his head that dad gave him and talks to rusty about icebergs.

The temporary postman did not fair so well the other day but when he complained to his superiors about being bitten by a six legged dog talking in Latin he was given a week off work to recover from stress and for being delusional.

I was asking the Joules Verne Pocket Oracle and prophecy Machine if it could keep track of what I have done and what I might do as sometimes I loss the plot and worry my diary might not make any sense. But it stated to go on about some horse somewhere that had bolted and shutting doors, so I think it might be faulty. I did try to ask it if it was faulty and it said IDIOT and reminded me about the big storm in the autumn again.

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