Wednesday, 28 December 2011

that nice chap Steven Spielberg loves a good movie about Aliens that eat Badgers and Budgerigars, I think?

I was helping Napoleon Beelzebub remove Christmas from his shop, well most of it as the Angel of the Norse is still in the window for the moment. Anyway he has announced that he will be closing Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop next year and moving on. It appears that all in all he is not entirely happy with all the uncertainty of the shops future, and all that being nice to the public etc.

For one the landlord discovered that he has excavated at least seventy five floors of cellar below the building to house all the stock and that it is rather hot down there. Mr Beelzebub has even offered the landlord a permanent room down at the bottom, but he is insisting that the whole cellar complex is filled in. Well that’s not very nice is it?  So come the end of February his shop will close and it will be decorated and returned to normal during March so that the landlord can do with it as he pleases. It appears that he wishes to sell the building, and Napoleon Beelzebub says he has things to do and people to meet (sorry eat) so it is time.

Mum and dad say they plan to become Eco Warriors this coming year which is WELL COOL, I have asked dad if I can help make the weapons, like the steam powered crossbows with laser tipped arrows before we invade the fortress castle of Eco deep in the woods. Mum said IDIOT apparently the dog was not entirely telling me the truth. In fact it turns out the dog also started the rumour about Turkeys being a male chicken, and that his eyes steam up when he drinks hot Vodka (sorry tea). I think the dog is taking revenge for not getting to do interesting things in the diary lately and recons we need to get in the woods and find the Badger Eating Alien Zombies. The dog says that would make a great movie and that nice chap Steven Spielberg loves Aliens that eat Badgers and Budgerigars WHAT????? 

Sooty the Cat hunting things



  1. I cannot wait to hear about mum and dad's adventures as Eco Warriors!

  2. I would love to have a place with at least 75 floors below ground, fascinating. I think I will try to incorporate the two words "at least" into as many conversations as possible and as soon as possible, I might even start a telePhone call right now as I type this comment for the sole purpose of "at least"-ing. Right now I have only one place that is one floor below ground level, and it is really only 80% below ground level, and occupied by at least one spider and at least one inch of rain water.

    (You are a blessing. I look forward to your posts!)

  3. Hello Miss Lily I am looking forward to the write up and assessment of your Christmas, maybe it was a very quiet and peaceful Christmas with turkey family and chocolate and you are thinking I can't write about that it is well boring. But its amazing what a couple of zombies and the odd ferret or two can do to liven things up.

    I hope you are well and the the ferrets have been dealt with?

    Hello again Mr ESB thank you for you comments it is much appreciated I like the parallel thinking of my already parallel thoughts, The result of which is always going to be a good line or two (not ferrets).

    And one thing I can say is at least you read my diary, which is the least anyone can do.
    H HA HAH HAHHAH HAh hahhah hah ah hah hah ha hahh ha hahh hah hah hah hahh ahhah ha hah ahah hah hah ha

  4. Ah..... One more thing Miss Lily I have just discovered Eco Warriors eat Vegetables ..........YUK. No one told me that