Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Stolen thoughts and Dragonflies. Scottish Independence and haggis




In the last couple of days I have noticed something happening that is a worry. Firstly thanks to Master Meglos I discovered that Dr Who have been running off with some of my ideas to sneak into their storylines Well I don't mind but it appears they do not even give me a tiny bit of credit for my subtle sophisticated and intertwined storylines involving robots footballers and Knights with pointy sticks.

Then only yesterday I happen to mention that no one had said much about the Queen and the devolution process leading to Scottish Independence. Then before you can say Haggis and Chips and a wee can of Iron Bru out the chill cabinet, the BBC ten o'clock news has the Queen all over it saying that the Queen is remaining impartial and rumours of stockpiling deep fried Mars bars are merely rumours spread by the English aggressors lead by Prince Charles as he angles for power.

Then to add insult to injury it appears folk have started coming up with the jolly idea of taking pictures of SHELFIES . . .  Well that was my idea ages ago and I cut the bottom off my IKEA shelf unit to make a little face too. Not just take a picture of a shelf.

This is not the first time this stuff has happened and I have started to wonder if there is some cunning plan afoot to undermine my thought process and make me look like a charlatan. I know who is the Mr Big behind it all, the evil genius who has Charles and Quentin in GCHQ stealing all my posts and using them for his own plans. Its that nice Mr Steven Spielberg, he wants my thoughts to create the greatest film ever so that he can say it is all his own work and claim the accolade and glory and bright lights. His final and greatest achievement, leaving me floundering in a dark swamp of obscurity OK a dark muddy hole of Obscurity and I know about them I have already been in a lot.

And tonight I have had to run about saving Dragonflies from the cat. . .  I bet he will say his cat did it first too, but I got pictures so YA SUCKS BOOOOOOO


OOOOOoooo is that the time I was just getting comfy on your couch doctor . . . I will see you next week about the same time. . . . . .  

13 comments:

  1. That's a beautiful Dragonfly Mr Z. Pity that they're evil kamikaze creature pilots, intent on drilling a whole to my forehead, by way of slam dunking their hard bodies against it. I blame the government.

    On the subject of having your works plagiarized, maybe there's a vendetta against you by people called Steven. First, Mr Spielberg and then Mr Steven Moffat, the man behind the current Doctor Who series. The next thing you know, Steven Segal will be popping up in a film about a man digging ditches in order to save the planet from a Zombie invasion.

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    1. Maybe you are right about chaps called Steven, maybe its a code name for active undercover agents. I know Mr H has problems with Dave and if you reduce both names to the core component it leaves you with EVE and AVE. To my mind Eve and Ave sound a bit like time travelling pensioners sort of in the mold of Bonnie and Clyde. Turning up out of the blue attacking folk with their lasers, stealing stuff and then vanishing off to another time to live off their ill gotten gains.

      You can see I am much better at plots than Steven which is why he keeps nicking mine.

      Oooo those dragonflies are the nearest thing we have to Mr ESB's Praying Mantis so maybe a hard hat is called for as I feel we need to keep them.

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    2. Ooooo yes welcome Master Meglos I see you are following all the best blogs. . . . well done.

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  2. I took my son's tiny dog for a walk today on the sidewalk of Main St and there was an eXtremely large hopper of grass that was just ahead of her. Just as she would reach the hopper of grass, it would hop several feet down the sidewalk. But being a hopper of grass instead of concrete it didn't realize it wasn't eFFectively geTTing away from the canine. After about nine near bouts with the canine it finaLLy bounced oFF the side beyond the leased canine.

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    1. How tiny is the dog Mr ESB so that I can try and imagine it in comparison with the Hopper of Grass. Sadly the cats try to eat them too round here. It is a dog eat dog world being a cat.

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    2. It is the end of the season so the hopper of grass was about 3 inches in body length and the dog is mainly Shitzu with 1/4 Poodle, so not much bigger than the HoG.

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    3. I am impressed with your HoG the ones over here are only about one inch to one and a half inches at best in length. I think dogs are probably the same size in terms of breed to breed.

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  3. Dragonfly MURDERER!
    Do you have to bisect shelves in order to take Shelfies? Can one not just wallow in the exploded carcass of fiberglas and composite materials. and claim to be a part of the shelfie movement?

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    1. Yo PVC sorry PVP. I think the cat sees dragonflies as some sort of great toy I have supplied that keeps breaking down. Maybe its gods way of saying to the dragonfly that its life as a dragonfly lava is not nice and what goes around comes around. . . .

      As for shelfies it appears you do not have to cut bits off them, to me this shows a lack of commitment. Something prevalent in the world of cyberspace and in particular twitter, Oh I have written a sentence now I am well exhausted.....

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  4. Was it my imagination or did the Daleks say "resistance is futile" in a recent hepisode of Doctor What? I think they could do with your help ... only saying like...

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    1. I bet they did, and I bet the script was written in crayon too. . . Stuff like this makes me depressed. Here I am a brain the size of a planet and. . . . . . O my god I have resorted to plagiarism, the words pot, kettle and black spring to mind now.

      I was trying to think of a famous Blakes 7 quote but sadly failed. . . .

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  5. I know how you feel Rob. My Nemesis seems to be these so called scientists. Last year they blatantly stole my idea for travelling faster than the speed of light! It caused a right old stink in the Hogart household I can tell you.
    I have brand new invention tomorrow and I will be keeping an eye out on the shopping channels and Dragons Den for any smart Alecs who think they can get away with stealing my ideas.

    It's a dog eat dog world out there.... but wants to eat a dog when we all know that Bacon is the future!

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    1. I think we are destined to be ideas men Mr H like that chap who invented the world wide web and never made a penny out of it. But the world needs great thinkers such as ourselves pondering important issues while chewing a bacon butty, or an all day breakfast (available to 11.30). . .

      I never trust those Dragons Den lot they are just after our brains I think they may be Zombies . . . . . (rich Zombies)

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