Thursday, 8 March 2012

Ghouls, Ghosts and Garden Gnomes and a cheese sandwich

I’m sure Steven Spielberg will not approve of all this messing about with the alphabet because it has turned my diary into something resembling Sesame Street and we are just doing the trial run, so sorry everyone. With that in mind however we have reached the letter “G”. The dog says there is a lot you can do with G’s and has just returned with a huge Cheese sandwich. Yes HA HA HA very funny dog. Really that is no help at all.

Luckily others have been much more help in particular the banshees who told me on my way to school that they had asked some friends to visit the school and liven up my story after lunchtime. In the morning we did art and the art teacher Mr Graham very kindly got right in to the spirit of the letter “G”, so we all had to make Giant Garden Gnomes and paint them in Grey Gouache, I decided that I would make a Grim looking Golfing Giant Garden Gnome covered in Gold leaf it was a Great art lesson and by the end we had a large Group of assorted Grey Giant Garden Gnomes. Then after a Geography lesson on the Great Gorge of the Ruth Glacier it was lunch.

As we finished lunch (gratin and gravy) I could hear screaming from outside and groups of pupils and teachers rushed inside and shut all the doors and locked the school gates. I could hear the headmaster then shout Good God what are those, they are Ghastly. The banshees true to their world had sent Gruesome Ghouls and Ghosts who were grinding their teeth and going Grrrrrr at the window, it was Great.  He called the police but they said it would some time before they GOT there.

So I devised a Great escape Plan using the Grey Giant Garden Gnomes and so as the Gruesome Ghouls and Ghosts Gathered overhead we grouped together in threes inside the Grey Giant Garden Gnomes and Groped our way to the school Gates and Freedom (an F word from yesterday). I knew I should have added eye holes and air holes as we were all gasping for air. Esmeralda did attempt to fight back by catapulting the school mascot at the Gruesome Ghouls and Ghosts Gathered overhead but only because it’s a Goat. And as she said afterwards she was doing her bit to help (WELL GROOVY).

Even mum has said she would help and I thought Gooseberry Gateau …….. GOODIE but she has said no Green Gooey Gruel………. YUK I think I will ask the dog for a bit of his G’s sandwich. Mum has said IDIOT. 

And the GHOST Writer says Hello.



  1. It is slightly possible that The Dog was indicating what kind of cheese was on his sandwich, so maybe instead of it being a good cheese sandwich, maybe it was a Gouda Cheese Sandwich, or if you thought he was stuttering, and that is rather rare in dogs, then I discovered that the Basque word for cheese is gazta, so maybe it was a Good Gouda Gazta Sandwich. I couldn't find any languages where the word sandwich began with a letter G, sorry.

    1. That's research beyond the call Mr ESB many thanks next time I have a cheese sandwich I will think of the letter G

  2. Interesting post. Really enjoy your writing.

    1. Many thanks it is nice to get a G person comment on the letter G.