DON'T PANIC its official, its only Aliens from Venus

It is Dam hot again today and due to the Government telling everyone DON’T PANIC and then the BBC News saying DON’T PANIC, the great British public are as you might expect picnicking (Sorry Panicking). If you’re part of my international Audience I must explain that the tanker drivers who deliver petrol to all the filling stations may strike in a few weeks time. So the government, to reassure the public who otherwise would probably not even know of this impending strike has told everyone DON’T PANIC.   

Well as we know from history the last thing anyone should do when the massed masses of the public are involved is to say DON’T PANIC because this is what they will do PANIC. So now we have a petrol shortage due to PANIC buying and the result of that is MORE PANIC. Well let’s face it; I think we all know exactly what is going on don’t we.

Yes it is the Alien Mushroom Creatures from Venus, having escaped from their mushroom boxes and changed the climate so that the UK is now so hot that only those with a good supply of water are likely to survive. But as we all know it has not rained now since 2^nd February 1872 so ……………AH. Now we have no fuel for our cars either so are unable to go to places where there might be water like Spanish holiday resorts or Scotland or even Blackpool Beach. The Easter eggs are all melting and the price of a sun hat is £27:50. Then a man comes on the Wireless and says DON’T PANIC is he a fool (I believe he is the Prime Minister as it happens so?). The dog says he is not worried he has a huge stash of bones buried in the garden so PHEW. But mum said IDIOT, I think she may have directed that at the wireless not the dog.

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