Sunday, 27 July 2014

Zombies, Flower Shows and Speed Limits

Yes sorry its an old picture today 
Cos I have been at a flower show


Well I have survived Sunday at the flower show where I was doing my bit as the go between, between the two parts. One part being the flowers in the village church and the other being the tea, coffee, cake and sandwiches in the village hall. It is hard apparently to find a go between these two buildings as they are on opposite sides of the road, and although very close to each other in a small sleepy village, our small sleepy village does not have a speed limit. So crossing the road can be a bit scary as folk passing through in cars look at the advisory 30mph speed limit sign and then drive through at 60mph plus. It is very inconsiderate of them indeed some have suggested that it might be due to the large beware of the Zombies sign I put up, well that and the two large life like Zombies placed near our one road junction holding axes (that’s the zombies not the junction holding the axes). I thought it best to alert passers by to the possible risk of Zombie attacks. These things always seem to start in small rural communities and it is best to be prepared.

Much to my surprise the village raised nearly two thousand pounds in all which is for the local church. I did suggest that we could make models of the Undead rising out of the ground in the church yard to slow down the motorists but some church folk were thinking it will make matters worse and the vicar did have a look of disapproval. But we gave the vicar huge amounts of cake and biscuits meat and other stuff. So next time he may be a little more Undead friendly or the vicar could be on double portions, he will certainly feel Undead with all that in him.

I have not spotted an alien in the Commonwealth Games yet but that is because of life and the complexities of getting through it in a rational and easy going way.  Involving as few trips across roads where folk are going too fast and seem rather sceptical about Zombies or even ordinary folk meandering along in a chilled and relaxed way.  I think folk need to learn life is not for rushing . . . . . unless running away from a Zombie holding a large axe near a road junction or the Undead are rising in the church yard. . . . . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN.

Ooooo it was not quite so hot today. . . . PHEW.


And I saw a frog.
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14 comments:

  1. esbboston28 July 2014 at 00:33

    You seemed to have accomplished a lot. I have not seen a frog in a veRy long time. I looked at several ponds from a distance in South Dakota that surely had at least one frog, so I saw something frogesque. I am near eXhaustion so I must rest for a little while. It seems that several people need me today .... ... :''': .. .

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    Replies
    1. esbboston28 July 2014 at 00:35

      On John Oliver's teleBision show he was making fun of the Commonwealth Games.

      Delete
    2. Rob Z Tobor28 July 2014 at 18:24

      I am worried you are working too hard Mr ESB, it is always important to have a plan if you are working hard. It should be a way of achieving something of great desire.

      If you are working hard, but do not need to to achieve your goals then you need to work a little less and enjoy those moments of freedom and or peace. Apparently folk who are chilled and with fewer ambitions live longer. . . . I am hoping that this theory is correct because it sounds good to me.

      I have seen several frogs in the last day.

      Delete
    3. esbboston28 July 2014 at 23:37

      You are absolutely correct about everything, and don't ever forget that. You are the pivot-al point at which aLL things .. oh what is the word I need? .. yes, pivot. You are the pilot to the pivot. ( I don't know what that last thing means, I just like the pi-ot symmetry.)

      Delete
    4. Rob Z Tobor29 July 2014 at 17:13

      I think a symmetrical pivot philosophy of life sounds like a very good one to me indeed, implying balance and knowledge. Maybe we could start a new movement, sell the well written comprehensive guide to the symmetrical pivot philosophy of life and market the must have T Shirt with its interesting pivotable design.

      Delete
    5. esbboston30 July 2014 at 10:02

      YES!!! T-Shirts for everyone, weLL, collecting a proper fee, of course. We could have a main question, called The Main Question, "Who Is The Pilot of Your Pivot?" "Is A Riot The Pilot of Your Pivot?" "Not All Pivots Are Pivotal" "No Tall Pilots Are Pivots At All"

      Delete
    6. esbboston30 July 2014 at 10:06

      Don't question your sanity, answer your sanity.

      Delete
    7. esbboston30 July 2014 at 10:08

      In public places, loudly, proclaiming,
      "I AM TRULY SANE!!!!"

      Delete
    8. esbboston30 July 2014 at 10:09

      I forgot the
      Hahahahahahahahaha

      Delete
    9. Rob Z Tobor30 July 2014 at 19:33

      I can see you have this theory well in hand Mr ESB.

      I like the . . . ."Who Is The Pilot of Your Pivot?" folk will surcome to curiosity for sure.

      Delete
  2. Adam Lloyd28 July 2014 at 07:43

    Mr Rob, I have been a follower of your Blog for quite a while now. You often talk about zombies, zombie defence strategies, places to meet single zombies in your area, and what to do if your dog turns out to be a zombie, and I have learned a lot. However, I must admit that, even with your advanced zombie spotting techniques (climb up a tree, shout "BRAAAAINS" then keep a lookout), I have not seen a single zombie.

    Now, forgive me if this seems a bit rude, but are you sure that zombies are even a thing? I've seen plenty of teenagers standing around, being vague, and staring into space, but they soon kick into action when you try and cave their undead faces in with a shovel. In fact, they tend to kick you very hard in the ribs and call you "blud", which indicates that they are not zombies because they'd surely talk to me about "braaaaains" instead.

    So, are zombies real, or are you making it up to use them as a tourist trap for your local village?

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    Replies
    1. Rob Z Tobor28 July 2014 at 18:30

      I rather like the idea of a Tourist Trap, we could tie the trapped tourists to trees at night as bait for the hungry Zombies.

      Sorry are you shouting "BRAAAAINS" it should be *BRIANSSSSS" its an easy mistake to make. and teenagers do have a look of the undead about them at times

      Delete
  3. Unknown28 July 2014 at 11:55

    Mr Z, Mr A (I feel like I'm talking to the alphabet) makes a good point. But I do know for a fact, that Zombies exist. I have seen for myself, how a once intelligent human being has slowly developed into a grotesque image of their former self. I have witnessed the glassy eyed stare and heard the inhuman groaning that issues forth from their slacken jaw and felt the grip of their icy fingers.

    And they speak Mr Z, terrible, blood curdling words like, "do I have to?" "I don't care." "My room is tidy!" And the worst one of all, "My pants are clean. I only wore them 3 times." They exist Mr Z, they truly exist.

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    Replies
    1. Rob Z Tobor28 July 2014 at 18:37

      I agree their pants are still clean . . . 3 times is OK as long as they are not doing unspeakable things in the dark. . . . . . .

      Hang on, I refer to their Zombie activities after all this is a child friendly blog and there are some unspeakable things of which we do not speak.

      Delete

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