So here we are again
another day in the life of the diary of Rob Z Tobor which has been ticking
along now since 15th August 2010 (the diary not me). I know it’s a
long long long time and if you have been reading it for all that time you will
probably say it seems much much longer, as you plough through page after page
after page of stuff.
Of course diaries are not
what they were back in the old days when Samuel Pepys could write about things
such as Plague, pestilence, the burning down of London America
These days we are left
with Mr Jones running about naked attempting to communicate with Aliens in the
Woods, Zombies being attacked by little old ladies for sitting on the wrong
seat on the bus, Androids and Vampires playing football as they hunt for The
Holy Grail. A goat getting catapulted into the local supermarket on a regular
basis, a faulty Weather Machine and a grumpy Ghost Writer. Quite frankly it is
no wonder the very nice Steven Spielberg has no interest in making the film of
the book of the blog diary of Rob Z Tobor.
So I feel I need to find
things more suitable to write about that will make Mr Spielberg sit up and take
notice, something where he will say . . . . . Hang ON I haven’t done a film
about that before. . . . .
So what did I do today . .
. I cut grass . . . . DAMN that’s not a good start is it, although some of it
was quite long grass?
Mr Jones is a bit
disappointed today as it turns out the Lizard Men of Titan are in fact Lizards
and their spacecraft an old copper hot water tank, (still an easy mistake to
make).
You're allowed to embellish a bit, so maybe you could write about something interesting that could possibly have happened while you were cutting the grass, like you accidentally falling into a different dimension where everyone has four legs and the grass is purple.
ReplyDeletePurple grass might work well.
DeleteJ u s t the r i g h t amount o f peyote wiLL make grass ap pear purple. I am not sure at what angle things need to be plant ed in ord er to diffract the light differently to achieve purple. Maybe you could use a laser.
ReplyDeleteI may try one of those James Bond villain, I'm just going to take over the world lasers. I bet I could turn a lot of things purple with one of them.
DeleteAndroids and Vampires :).
ReplyDeleteYO, nice to see you Neer (The best book review blog on the internet. . . see link below. . .A Hot Cup of Pleasure).
DeleteAndroids and Vampires a good mix for any film
Don't you dare change this blog Rob. I adore reading it just as is.
ReplyDeleteIn the words of the great Arthur Fonzerelli, that Spielberg can "Sit on it!" if he's not interested.
You should start one of those Kickstarter things to raise money to buy a director and camera and stuff... 6 months later you'll find yourself on the beach at Cannes collecting awards and being harassed by buxom blondes.... and maybe even some women! ahahahahahahahaha
You are very kind Mr H . . . . but that sounds like a lot of work for a lazy chap like myself. . . I may set my goals a bit lower and aim to kick Cannes on the Beach and harass buxom blondes and maybe a few women . . . . . . . . . before being locked up in a ward.
DeleteI would pay money to see a Steven Spielberg directed film of you cutting the grass. Throw in some zombie defence trench digging, some vampiric androids, a mother who shouts "IDIOT" a lot, and a few nicely drawn pieces of artwork, and it would make a fine film.
ReplyDeleteWOW Mr Addman you read my blog . . . . . You know stuff that has happened. . . .WOW,
DeleteEven I cant remember stuff in it.... I will point this out to Mr Spielberg, it may be the just the spark to make him realize he would be onto a winner. I may need a stunt double to cut the grass though.