The GUILD of GROTESQUES AND GARGOYLES

10 years ago this was my first-ish A to Z. A time when I wrote a diary in a rather distinctive style as the eccentric child of cyberspace . . . . . I say first-ish because I did a practice run in March 2012 so I sort of did it twice.

A little Mad but then doing the A to Z can drive a chap mad. 

Anyway 10 years where did that go Phew. 

The Letter G

As we know Mr GRAHAM the art teacher very kindly got right in to the spirit of the letter “G” way back on the 8^th march, when we all made Giant Garden Gnomes and painted them in Grey Gouache and by the end we had a large Group of assorted Grey Giant Garden Gnomes. And although these GIANT Garden Gnomes saved us from the Ghouls and Ghosts they have since been gathering dust as garbage in the garage. It could have been a gruesome and grizzly end to a generations (My generation) great art.

Mr. graham however is a bit of a Guru a gifted and generous guardian of grand gothic artistic goals. So has given dad the grey gouache giant garden gnomes as a gift for The guild of grotesques and gargoyles. The guild of grotesques and gargoyles gather once a month at the Golden Goose Inn on the village Green, drinking gallons of grog, and eating Gateau and game pie. Inviting guests to give governance to their own grand plans in order to get grants from the guild.

For the annual get together and gathering where the Grand Grumpy (the honorary leader) of The guild of grotesques and gargoyles is elected Dad is powering the  GIANT GARDEN GNOMES with sophisticated  Geo-gravitational gyroscopically generated engines and guidance systems. Enabling them to glide gracefully over the village green in a gracious ghostly dance.   

It has transpired however that the Godzilla is Great Appreciation society is also holding their annual event on the Village green on the same day (tomorrow) and so Dad says he plans to fit gleaming 18mm Gatling Guns to the GIANT GARDEN GNOMES to gun down Godzila. The rest of The guild of grotesques and gargoyles are not sure that is a good idea. But as dad says it will liven up the usually rather dull give away local Gazette which is full of Gibberish.

This Grand Battle of Giants will take place on the village green tomorrow. Sadly (for you) my day off from the A to Z so none of you will ever know the outcome …….. HAH AHAHHAH HAH HAHH Hah hah hah hahh haha haha hahahahaha ha hahaha

Talking of Gibberish mum says Idiot …………..Ah no she has just made a gesture instead. 

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The GUILD of GROTESQUES and GARGOYLES. (Part two)
(originally posted on a Sunday)

These A to Z people are a bunch of wimps, days off indeed. Now some of you may want to know what happened today at the great battle between the 200 foot (high not legs) Godzilla  and the grey gouache giant garden gnomes with attached gleaming 18mm Gatling Guns ………… Well AH it was sort of a disaster. Yes there is no denying that it was a crowd puller but the Gatling guns were very ineffective against the rubber Godzilla, I don’t know why; those shells were like hot knifes through butter. 

Anyway dad had not thought about where the shells would go once they pass through Godzilla himself so they sort of destroyed a few vehicles and buildings and the like causing a certain amount of panic.

Then someone in the pub (The Golden Goose) phoned the police who at first were very unhelpful. After all if you phone the police from a pub and say a 200 foot Godzilla is fighting on the village green with a group of giant garden gnomes it is likely they may not believe you. But in the end they did send the community policeman round who was promptly eaten by Godzilla. He hates authority and uniforms; I think it all has to do with his past. Anyway the next thing was a police marksman team turned up, and Godzilla and the Godzilla is Great Appreciation Society got in a huff and left.

The police have now arrested the giant garden gnomes for disturbing the peace, but are uncertain if  garden gnomes can be prosecuted under British law and are presently waiting for a directive from the very top before formally charging them, but it appears the Gnome Office are yet to respond…………………. HAH HAHAHH Hah hah ahh hahah ah ahaha hah hah hahah hah aha hahahah ah hah hah hah hahah h hahah hah     

And sadly garden gnomes have been banned from the village green and dad has been banned from The guild of grotesques and gargoyles.

Mum has added Idiot.........  I am not sure if that’s dad, the police or the garden gnomes

Gnome Gnome on the Range