F is For The Franciscan Friars, The Fishermen and the Flamingo.

10 years ago this was my first-ish A to Z. A time when I wrote a diary in a rather distinctive style as the eccentric child of cyberspace . . . . . I say first-ish because I did a practice run in March 2012 so I sort of did it twice.

A little Mad but then doing the A to Z can drive a chap mad. 

Anyway 10 years where did that go Phew. 

The Letter F

FERRETING about at the FARMERS Market was FABULOUS until a FRACAS between a group of FRENCH FRANCISCAN FRYERS (sorry FRIARS) and the FIERY FIGHTING FISHERMEN of FISHGUARD FLARED up at the FRONT of the FISHMONGERS. It was all to do with FISH Quotas.   The FISHERMEN of FISHGUARD called the FRANCISCAN FRIARS “FRAUDULENT FREAKS” While the FRANCISCAN FRIARS said the FISHERMEN of FISHGUARD smelt of FORMALDEHYDE and FORMATION dancers. And they couldn’t catch FRANKENSTEIN’S monster if it was super glued to their FETLOCKS.     

When the FIGHT FINALLY FINISHED we bumped into FRANK or FINGERS FRANK as he is known he said “ Hello want to buy some FRANKINCENSE then; FOUR Quid and no Questions nudge nudge, FELL off a FORKLIFT hA hA hA.” FRANK is a FUNNY FELLOW

We were looking at a FLEA market stall and saw a FORGED FLYING FLAMINGO and FRANK said, “Worth a FORTUNE it’s a FAMOUS FORGED FOURTH century FIGURE of a bird goddess Robbie me mate Ha ha ha hah ha , offer him FIFTY and I’ll FIX a deal wiv a good FENCE”…………..  “FIFTY Quid …..FLIP me” said FLORENCE on the FLEA market stall. It’s  only an old FERROUS FLAMINGO from the FAMILY FARM. 

Mum was FURIOUS that I had been on the FIDDLE with FRANK and said the FLAMINGO was FILTHY so I had to clean it.  I have spent all day with FIBROUS clothes and FEATHERS FEVERISHLY polishing and have FINALLY FINISHED. 

Mum, Dad, the dog and Captain FLINT the parrot have all come to see and have all said F***********ing  H*****lllllll it is made of Gold. So FINGERS FRANK was right