It appears that Sam the Parrot has been
stolen from his home at Harry Tuffins Superstore in Churchstoke which may not
seem like devastating news, but around here he is known to almost everyone,
partly because he shouts at you when you enter the supermarket. In the old days
he was free range and would laugh and bounce about as he snipped another finger
off some unsuspecting small child, well he is a parrot after all.
Now there are some thefts in the world of
crime that are just seen as bad form such as stealing from small children and
little old ladies, as Benny Neckbender would say ITS not right stealing stuff from someones granny and such
things are frowned on badly by decent upstanding criminals. However one of the
lowest of the lows in this world of moral conflicts is stealing a mans parrot,
since the days of pirates on the high seas it has been taboo to steal parrots
and will result in bad karma (like seriously bad Karma). So if you are reading
this and have a nicked parrot then I would say best to hand it back or Napoleon
Beelzebub will be turning up saying WHOSE
A pretty boy then something you really don’t want to hear from Satan.
The Ghost Writer however
has a different theory, well he has two . .. . the first is :-
Not so long ago the Co-op
took over the supermarket but not the whole of the building, so could not get
rid of the parrot, It is not in keeping
with the multinational corporate image they like to portray to the masses and
so they have hired a hit man to bump off the parrot. Possibly the famous hit
man known to the world as, The Jackdaw like in the Movie……The Day of the
Jackdaw.
The second theory is:-
Late at night in the dark;
Harry Tuffins Superstore was in fact broken into by aliens. Since the store was
empty there was no one to communicate with in the dark as they grabbed
provisions then a voice said TAKE ME to
your leader, well we all know Sam the Parrot loves to talk but saying take me to your leader to an Alien is foolish indeed. So Sam will be on an
Alien Spacecraft somewhere.
Ooooo yes there is one
further point to make and that is this is not the first time Sam has been
stolen but last time the thieves were caught when Sam told the pet shop owner
they were trying to sell him too that he was in fact Sam the Parrot and needed
some help pronto.
.
I used to work for the Co-op and know all to well the lengths they will go to to "remove" unwanted elements from their quest of world domination.
ReplyDeleteThey once changed the coffee machine on our office but didn't change the labels so if you went to get a nice (and it really was nice) tomato soup - you ended up with a mocha choco thing which is nothing like tomato soup AT ALL.
Not long after that Mrs T the cleaning lady lost her job and we all had to move building.
Dark times they were, at the Co-op. Dark times indeed
Well of course the Ghost Writer is in the process of emptying his office as the charity he works for lost loads of funding and now they are all going to work in a tiny space and hot desk. I say hot desk the Ghost Writer has not even been allocated a desk to share. He thinks its a hint, when you work somewhere but don't have a place to work it sort of means you might be surplus to requirements. . . . Much like Mrs T the cleaning lady.
Deleteps- i have away from the blogs for a a while as it's been very busy but I'm back now. this may or may not be a good thing. :O)
ReplyDeleteIf voting is allowed, I vote Yes (that it is a good thing)
DeleteYes good to see you back Mr H, but I assumed you would be busy as it is summer and sunny. I hope the punters are being good.
DeleteA lost celebrity bird, how sad. I don't recaLL ever hearing of a stolen bird, weLL, maybe chickens, either in a baked or unbaked state. A dead chicken tried to kiLL me last night at supper with a bone in my food at a restaurant. I was hoping to make it to the diner for supper after that but the wife got me busy doing a veRy wet task for the printing. We were mostly successful. But then it was too late for the diner and I was aLL wet, not that the diner folk would have cared. My son was surprised to learn that the diner serves breakfast food aLL day long. He was not aware that was possible to get that kind of food at odd times any where in town. ActuaLLy I think the Nu-Way Cafe also on Main St serves breakfast food aLL day too.
ReplyDeleteIt is quite common in the UK to get all day breakfast and it is very popular, although not healthy. You rarely see an all day healthy breakfast.
DeleteYou rarely see folk getting very wet while printing as it happens unless you were printing underwater. Its a niche market which most printers avoid as they say its all a bit fishy . . . . .HAH HHAH HAH AH HAH HA HAH HA hah ah ha hah ah ah ah hahaha ha ha ha
The water is involved in the prep of the printing frame for each ink and then afterwards in the clean up. It uses UV light to expose the printing material hardening it, then a mask of the desired print pattern prevents UV light from hardening. The water wash removes the unexposed part.
DeleteSilly me yes you are screen printing, although I don't remember my old friends who did screen printing getting wet but it was a long time ago.
DeleteIt is a true art form full of quirky tricks.....
Once I have the permanent equipment and configuration I won't get nearly as wet. My wife also interfered with me getting to go to the diner, which is almost unforgivable.
DeleteIt is a truly sad day when a parrot goes missing. A truly, truly sad day, which makes it doubly true.
ReplyDelete