This
morning I thought I would hunt Vampires, Zombies and Ghouls as it was rather
warm; and in order to be able to sneak up on these terrible beasts I also
thought the best thing to do was to disguise myself in such a way that the Vampires,
Zombies and Ghouls would be unaware of my presence. In other words I disguised
myself as a terrible beast that might eat bits of brain or feet.
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| Rob the Zombie |
As
I prowled round the village using cunning guile and stealth I sadly saw
nothing, but I was aware that at least one of the Vampires, Zombies and Ghouls
must be close by as I could hear people screaming and running off in all directions.
I did try to ask a couple of the villagers about the beast but each time I approached
them the terrible Vampire, Zombie or
Ghoul or what ever it was scared them off, a rather cunning plan if you ask me
to stop me catching it.
Having
returned home for lunch and having been told to go and wash I was forced to
hunt the beast without the disguise in the afternoon but by then a large group of
villagers were out with twelve bores and pointy sticks. They said the beast was
horrific the scariest thing they had ever seen with huge eyes and pointy teeth
and mad hair, apparently they said it looked just like the mad demented twin
brother of me. I am really annoyed I never
got to see it, but when I told mum she said we were all IDIOTS?
Anyway
despite the roasting humid evening I thought it best to do a bit more work on
the Zombie defence system and even our friendly builder Mr Chris says he will
call in next week to ensure that what ever terrible thing was prowling the
gardens and woods it will not get to eat me.
 |
| A Rocket |
AH
yes something terrible happened yesterday you see dads rocket which will only
ever be the second all British expedition to the moon has been criticised by Mr
Addman and Mr Flip who have said that most of the rocket is made from Chinese sourced
parts. They have (well that Mr Addman has) demanded that that we write on the
side of the rocket Mainly constructed
from parts manufactured in china. I did not have enough paint to do this,
but in order to appease their concerns I managed to write A BIT CHINA on the
side; I was planning on writing Chinese but ran out of space.
H0w SAD, I get n0thing but a white b0x on the screen that says, "Rob the Zombie", n0 picture (?) hmm, I tried rel0ading the page, w0nder what is uP (or D0Wn) with the interred Knet (silent K). Because I g0t n0thing, I replaced aLL the letter 0h's with a zer0.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was looking up something on feng shui for Badger the other day I saw that feng shui is literally 風水 "wind water" in Chinese which is eXactly the same in Japanese Kanji characters, and so I already knew how to write it in Chinese but didn't realize it.
DeleteOkay okay, now the browser is finaLLy working and I was totaLLy frightened by your picture (not reaLLy, hahahaha)
DeleteThat cyberspace is fickle Mr ESB very fickle, I am never quite sure if everyone sees this the same as me or not. Maybe it is just a huge white box on a screen for most of the world that would be annoying....
DeleteI am never entirely sure about feng shui I dont think I have good feng shui, I use the word Zombie too much
Perhaps you could fool feng shui by putting a space between the Zom and the bie, and then change the font size of the size to the smallest size possible. As feng shui is veRy old it is most likely easily fooled.
DeleteI am also very easily fooled by small font sizes, even modest sized ones can cause a bit a bother and without my glasses, walls can be hard to find....
DeleteI have done at least 5 minutes research and have discovered that I am the very first to use the term Frankenzompire, so I have planted my flag on this term and it is now mine to use as I will in order to confuse Feng Shui..
'Frankenzompire' is a most eXcellent word. If you remove the rankenzomp you are left with pure Fire. So the neXt time someone asks me if I know how to make Fire I can simply say, "Release the rankenzomp!!!" at a minimum of 88 decibels with a Viking accent with a pretend sword in my raised right hand. Now, back to cooking my chili cheese hot dogs ....
DeleteExcellent stuff Mr ESB I rather like the idea of a Rankenzomp I must consider drawing one
DeletePerhaps the zombie was scary, but at least he took the trouble to put on a bow tie and a button hole flower!
ReplyDeleteOne should always look ones best . . . . Not easy when you are a Zombie, but a bow tie always helps :)
DeleteGreetings Rob,
ReplyDeleteYou do realise that they have Vampires, Zombies and Ghouls on the moon? Rocket parts made from China could be a might fragile.
Ha ha and a bonus ha! :)
BONE China . . . . . HAH HAHAHHAH HAH HH HAH AH AHHAH H HAH HAH HAH hA
DeleteBone Us HAHAH HAHAH HAHH H AHAH AH AHHA H AHA H AH AHAHHAH HAH AHA ha
Ooooo thank you very much for the plug (it will help stop the water running out of the bath).
I would never criticise your rocket. I was merely stating that China, as a world leading manufacturing nation, would produce superior components for your craft, thus increasing the likelihood that it would fly.
ReplyDeleteIf it makes it into space, do you think the Chinese will declare it as a victory for their space program? You need to beat them to Mars!
When you say Mars I guess you don't mean I have to race them up the street to Mums from the Chinese takeaway.
Delete