I did my bodyguard bit for the Ghost Writer
today, but it did not go down well apparently the Che Guevara meets Rambo image
I chose is not suitable for the modern office environment and large Gatling
guns are frowned on by members of staff. As it turned out the Ghost Writers new
office was remarkably quiet although he is a little annoyed as he could not
find his security pass and only managed to enter the building because of two
things. The first of which is, he is rather well known for his battered
appearance and grumbling at everyone as he enters the main reception area. And the
second, which had an even greater impact being, he had a bodyguard who was
holding a fairly mean looking Gatling gun capable of accidently going off and
sort of removing parts of the ceiling and the security cameras in a slightly
indiscriminate and random way.
I also saw as I was
guarding the Ghost Writer during the day two very large tins of Red Bull, a
drink I have to say I have never drunk, these tins were about ten feet high and
strapped to the top of cars. Anyway to be on the safe side I thought it best to
remove the tins from the vehicles in a quick and effective manor, which
involved a large gun and a stampeding crowd screaming and running off in the
opposite direction. As a result I have now been banned from being a bodyguard
unless we are somewhere no one knows us.
I then just about made in
home in time to see Miss Jackie and Mr Phil who both said O MY GOD it’s the zombie Ghost of Che Guevara again as they leapt into
their car which appeared to have the remains of a large can on the roof.
So what I think I have
just said is not a lot happened today although the Ghost Writer is not happy
with his new tea making facilities, he plans to take his own sugar next time….
Ha. I can totally relate to forgetting the stupid security badge and having to schmooze into work. And the Red Bull...yeah, mercy killing for sure. You saved lives by removing those cans. That stuff is poison, but it will keep you awake for days.
ReplyDeleteI think it may be worse than forgetting, he has a week to find it and then it will be deactivated. This will result in him being unable to get to his office, the one he does not like so he is not looking particularly hard for his security pass at present.
DeleteI know your pain, friend. I too have been discriminated against merely for bringing a gun to work.
ReplyDeleteIt is strange how the modern open plan office can still throw up such anomalies.
DeleteI may have been flagged up by GCHQ again after mentioning guns, Che Guevara, Red Bull, Zombies and MI6.
DeleteOK I only just mentioned GCHQ and MI6 but one has to get readers where you can when folk don't read your blog.....
Hello chaps
I take a gun to work every day. Maybe I shouldn't anymore...although I think your problem was that you obviously had it in plain view. You have to hide them! :)
ReplyDeleteI think GCHQ might read your blog now Miss Laura, after all they need to be on the ball and alert at all times. Still I think they will soon realize you are one of the goodies rather than one of the baddies.
DeleteThere do seem to be a lot of baddies about a present, the world would be so much better if folk were nice to each other and we were all just friendly....