As
many of you know my diary has more than one outlet in cyberspace in order to
maximize its readership so instead of three readers I have about six, this is
the way of genius no one pays any attention until about fifty years after you
die and then someone will say here have a look at this diary this block (sorry
bloke) was a genius…… There are three very distinct draw backs to this, the
first of which is plainly the most obvious by the use of the word die because
it infers that I have been dead for fifty years, and this is not good as I
could do loads of interesting stuff in those fifty years rather than have
tourists leaping up and down on me in Westminster Abbey and have photos of
themselves next to my statue. Secondly and almost as annoying is that by then
Steven Spielberg will be really old, I mean like seriously zimmer frame old with
nurses and tubes and the like; just how is he going to make a movie of the
diary when he is away with the fairies and talking to lampposts.
Before
I continue with the third point I need to point out (a forth point) that a
spider is trying to make a web in my hair, it is rather off putting and my
typing is bad enough at the best of times, it has been suggested a comb would
help matters but I don’t have one.
OK
right back to what I was saying the third point is the royalties from the
films, book sales and large prints of my artwork, plus the sale of all my
original artwork to national collections will all be spent by other folk who
will rub their hands going Ooooooooo goody when that really should be me doing
that.
AH
I have drifted from my planned diary entry now by loads I was working towards
saying that my rather tasteful blog is sort of being pinged by some sort of
autobot wed crawler thing in Latvia
Should you by any chance be in Latvia and reading this, turn that damn machine off or
no part in the movie for you……..
 |
| I AM WATCHING |
.
You couldn’t possibly be dead, if you were how would you get to write about the very latest ongoings in the Marches zombieland, unless, of course, you have a direct line to the ueber-zombie with the dreadlocks who lives in the Bishop’s Palace.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe your knowledge stems from the gases escaping from the holes you poke in the ground with your stick?
AH yes you see because you live very close, you know much of the Palace of the Bishop, as well as what happens to folk who spend to much time poking the ground with pointy sticks in the Marches....
Delete:)
I would assume that you would already have it written into your will that any surviving members of RATS would take an equal share of any profits made after your untimely demise.
ReplyDeleteThis may result in any potentially unscrupulous RATS - naming no names but pointing a very accusing finger Addmans way) may try and bump off all the others in order to keep the money for themselves.
The way around this is to get bitten by a Zombie and keep your self nice and clean and then you can live forever - albeit with hanging flesh and a taste for human beans.
I have an alternative to your rather cunning plan and that is all profits would be paid out as Custard Creams. Mr Addman would then be less keen to do me in, knowing that the result would be a large truck turning up at his house full of biscuits.... But for him the wrong biscuits.
DeleteHowever in many many years when we are all really old and I finally die aged 126, Mr Addman will be in his nineties by then any biscuit will be a treat and he will be happy with all the Custard Creams he could ever eat...
So ... Being on a different continent may keep me alive longer.
DeleteHow little you all think of me! What, just because I'm a maniacal, greedy, genocidal maniac with a history of this sort of thing, you all think I'd bump you off for cash? You are sorely mistaken. Now, let us all have a sip of this poiso-I mean punch that I've prepared.
DeleteOOOooooooo I love a good punch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Ouch
DeleteThere are no frontiers in cyberspace Mr ESB.....
I was getting eXcited when I first read your headline "50 years to genius" ... but then when I read your blog you meant 50 years after death! Ah, I was hoping for being 50 years after birth ....
ReplyDeleteI was always hoping that was the case but it appears that if you miss the first opportunity to be proclaimed a genius which is round about the age of ten then its a rather long wait.
DeleteDoes it help that I have had (at least) two episodes where different people have actuaLLy caLLed me a supergenius? Of course I am not sure if there are qualifications and/or certification process in order to make supergenius declarations. There should probably be a review committee as weLL as a proper nomination process. Thoughts?
DeleteI do know I am not a supergenius, and I have never been called a genius of any sort before.
DeleteBut your diverse and eclectic mix of knowledge means you must be a supergenius, as you know loads of stuff where as I make it up but sound confident . . . That always works well so if I say :-
Did you know Bonsai Trees live longer than the full scale tree in direct proportion to the scale. So a 1 to 10 scaled Bonsai tree lives ten times longer....
People will go well I didn't know that
Based on the die-rect proportion to the scale philosophy of size and when to die means I probably wiLL die 47 months ago, approximately. No, I had neVer heard of this before. I did know what a bonsai tree is.
DeleteThe only good genius, is a dead genius. That's what I learned in the old black and white, cowboy and nerd movies of my youth.
ReplyDeleteAH yes those were the days but it appears Cowboy films are no longer fashionable, this I hope leaves the slightest glimmer of opportunity for a budding genius to hit the spot light....
Delete(Yes sorry officer but someone left this large stage light on the street and I thought it was a Dalek)