Monday, 27 May 2019

The European Elections, Mrs May. An Android and a Rat

Here in Britain we have been going through the European Elections and the demise of Mrs May who finally said  . . . Oh Poo  . . . and has resigned. I don’t entirely blame her, after all she was trapped in a political mess with no real solution. Unfortunately her attempts at solving an unresolvable political mess involved trying to do the same thing each time. We have all been there at some point. Putting our pin number in the cash machine three times only to realize as it confiscates it, saying you are very naughty, that you have used the wrong pin. Anyway Mrs May was hoping to get a fourth go at using the same pin number, but as we all know that is not going to happen so she is now standing on the naughty step.

I tried to warn her about the flowering bamboo but she laughed and said I was a mad dishevelled peasant of the masses destined to scurry about in the hills away from the thrill of political life and power forever. Phew that’s good. . . . . . And it seems we both are now.
Now while on the subject of the curse of the flowering Bamboo I did something to my back a couple of days ago which stopped me from doing any work on the workshop. I was struggling just standing up at one point and could not reach the floor. Not easy when you want to put shoes on and the like. Luckily, although still a bit sore I am now moving about normally so folk are not sniggering at me and calling me the scruffiest android on Earth.
Then yesterday to add to the curse, the entire family descended on our house to eat sausage and bacon butty’s, fruit and cream and cake. To make matters worse some of the left over sausages were wrapped up in foil and taken away by folk to eat later leaving me with just enough for a sausage butty at lunch time today. I have now had to resort to eating the fruit covered in cream . . . . I need the cream to counteract all that healthy fruit stuff. Folk never run off with all the fruit.

Our new neighbours are young and keen and doing a great job of tidying up what is a sort of small holding and former mill. The drawback is they have made the resident rat population restless. The old occupants of the building didn’t seem to worry so Mr Ratty just remained there among the crumbling walls. But we have had a couple in the garden stealing bird seed, so I need to resolve the issue in a friendly way (after all they have their place in the eco system) as my wife hates the little (well not so little) critters. Apparently they are attracted to Bamboo flowers and keen on things Doom related. . . . . . . . DAMN.

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