Drugs, Birds, Cats and a Ladder . . . . .

This morning involved a trip to a nearby village hall where one person looked at another person’s foot as folk do. After that the trip involved the collection of drugs from a doctor’s surgery. Yes it all sounds dodgy but in fact it is not even remotely dodgy. One of the things I have learnt about getting old is after about 50-ish you gain a new prescription from the docs about every 5-10 years or so, so if you reach 100 you just grab a handful and hope for the best.

On returning home I was out in the garden with the lawn mower (OOOoooo what fun). One Ecopoint to make here is keep the blade on your lawn mower as high as possible and the wildlife will generally be OK. Our garden has some very wild bits indeed and is full of beasts and birds and other critters. Those birds cost a fortune in seed, nuts and stuff too and do they care about that NO they just invite all their mates round for a party.

Now in the past I have used a gardener (OK a cheap gardener) and I was pondering why I now don’t. So I looked back through the pages (posts) of my diary and all became clear again. I don’t remember stuff so a diary is useful.

 And here it is what I had written about this many moons ago.

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A useful tip that folk may not know about is be selective with who you use as a Gardener because Ghosts, Ghouls and Gargoyles can be a little obstinate and will tend to go off and do their own thing. And saying to them NO NO I WAS THINKING OF MAYBE A CHERUB BALANCING ON THE BACK OF A DAUPHIN, SORRY I MEAN DOLPHIN; OOOOO NO A DAUPHIN WOULD BE GOOD, IN THE FISH POND (as a fountain), NOT THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE. . . . . . AND YES THE BLOOD RED DYE IN THE WATER IS VERY EFFECTIVE BUT WILL CLASH WITH THE GOLDFISH A BIT . . . . HANG ON ARE THOSE PIRANHA FISH. . . .

Will only make them stare at you like you are a fool and know nothing and that the new sulphur bed with its noxious gasses and sharp pointy things is now so much better than that old flower bed with its Gladioli and Garibaldi Biscuits . . . . . sorry I mean bluebells.

That’s the last time we use UNDIG Gardeners Ltd with their catchy slogan . . . . UnDig Have Risen from the Grave to help you, no job too small……….

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Yes well that was a long time ago and my wife says a gardener would be good as long as I don’t choose another cheap one. So I now do the gardening because proper gardeners are expensive. . . . . . .

As for the rest of the day . . . . I was on a roof lashing down a tarpaulin like a pirate at sea in a storm with my faithful parrot (the cat). . . . The cat has learnt to climb ladders so if I climb the ladder so does the cat. I hate heights and ladders but having a cat on your head is an added complication I don’t need.

Then finally I ate. . (spicy deep fried prawns and rice . . Yum) . . . Drunk tea and chilled and am now doing the diary.

With a cat . . . . Pesky Cat