Monday 28 April 2014

The terrible Tyrannosaurus killed by an Aardvark

The Greatest A to Z  
Aardvark based Nonsense Poetry in the World 




Q
If you stand  . . . . . 
in a QUEUE . . . . . . . 
with a Gnu . . . . . . .
People will QUIETLY whisper . . . . . . .  
in a QUADRANGLE . . .  or two  . . 
Or QUIVER with fear and shout loudly. 
AuuuuuugggghhhhHH Shoo
Or throw bits of Aardvark . . . . . .  At the Smiling Gnu

And maybe at you.


R
ROUND the RUGGED ROCKS the RAGGED RASCAL RAN
Past a ROTUND RABBIT and a small bald RETIRED man
And as he passed a ROASTER that made a strange sound just like a bark.
He lost his concentration and tripped over an Aardvark. 

S   
The SLIMY SLIPPERY SERPENT SLIPS SILENTLY underneath the 
 . . . . . SIDEWALK

In the dark where man and beast get eaten by a grumpy old  
 . . . . .  Night Hawk

And little dogs run about and annoy pedestrians with their
 . . . . Barks

And every one will run and hide with the arrival of . . . . . . . . .

(Huge indomitable and fearsome man eating) 

 . . . . Aardvarks.


T
In the TINY TOWNS in  . . . . . .  
THE hills of TRANSYLVANIA
Is a beast THAT drives THE population mad 
And has become a world compulsive mania?
With is sharp pointy TEETH . . . . . . 
Sucking blood in THE dark
Everyone lives in fear of 
THE Vampire Aardvark.

 
Hanging UNDERNEATH UMBRELLAS 
You will find some UGLY fish

Who think that they are bats 
Rather than a battered dish.

They think they are being clever 
Hiding from the multitude of sharks

But hiding in UMBRELLAS 
Means they will be eaten by
Aardvarks.


V
There have been a VERITABLE multitude of beasts
 in the VISION of my VERSE.

But some will think my nonsense poetry
is rather more a curse.
And most will say it is poetry, 
which is full of  . . . . . . . . Impropriety.

Well everyone . . . .  with one exception . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society. 


W
If you live in darkest WALES
You will be used to dragons with scaly scales
That have long and pointed pointy tails
A land WHERE the WIND and rain it never fails

WHICH is WHY
As hard as you might try
You will never spy

An Aardvark . . . . . . . With your beady eye.



X
O dear we have arrived at X
Meaning we must mention the terrible Tyrannosaurus Rex
The fearsome beast from the past doth . . . .Hark
Till it choked to death on a large . . . . . . . . . . Aardvark

Phew made it past the tricky letter . . . . (OK there was not a lot of X’s in that)
Things can now only get (slightly) better . . . . .Maybe?


9 comments:

  1. The nice thing about the X is that its cousins v and k are there to help you out, and had a few of them in there as weLL. Also remember that >< are there too just waiting to be used in e><tra wide X.
    v
    ^

    That reminds that last night at the restaurant during our Spanish lesson I asked my son if he knew what Dos Equis meant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Mr ESB that is very very interesting indeed in fact one of the most interesting things I have ever heard. But I dont think Dos Equis ever tilted at windmills, just beer cans. And he never wrote about Aardvarks either.

      I think by using an eye it might be possible to make an extra wide Y, although the V would and I would need to fall over to make an extra wide Z .

      I bet Dos Equis would not even think of wide X's . . . . I laugh in his face HAH AH HA HAH ah ha ha ha (a bit, and then run away fast)

      Delete
  2. Yay! We are almost done with the Challenge. You did great with X. Poor Rex though…I'm a bit sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No Rex was grumpy, he would never have fitted into modern society. . . . And indeed we are almost done . . . PHEW

      Delete
  3. I watched Jurassic Park yesterday - they really could have done with that Aardvark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I not sure the Aardvark would agree with you Miss Laura. . .

      Delete
  4. Not many people realize that ReX is the king of all X's.

    ReplyDelete