The Wheels of Poetry continue to turn.

The Greatest A to Z  

Aardvark based Nonsense Poetry in the World 

P

PETER the PARROT is a PRICELESS bird

It can sing the Star Spangled Banner and impersonate the late Thora Hird

And if feeling PECKISH or can't think of the right word

It PRETENDS it’s the aardvark from Shakespeare’s play

Richard the Third.

Q

If you stand  . . . . . 

in a QUEUE . . . . . . . 

with a Gnu . . . . . . .

People will QUIETLY whisper . . . . . . .  

in a QUADRANGLE . . .  or two  . . 

Or QUIVER with fear and shout loudly. 

AuuuuuugggghhhhHH Shoo

Or throw bits of Aardvark . . . . . .  At the Smiling Gnu

And maybe at you.

R

ROUND the RUGGED ROCKS the RAGGED RASCAL RAN

Past a ROTUND RABBIT and a small bald RETIRED man

And as he passed a ROASTER that made a strange sound just like a bark.

He lost his concentration and tripped over an Aardvark. 

S   

The SLIMY SLIPPERY SERPENT SLIPS SILENTLY underneath the 
 . . . . . SIDEWALK

In the dark where man and beast get eaten by a grumpy old  
 . . . . .  Night Hawk

And little dogs run about and annoy pedestrians with their
 . . . . Barks

And every one will run and hide with the arrival of . . . . . . . . .

(Huge indomitable and fearsome man eating) 

 . . . . Aardvarks.

T

In the TINY TOWNS in  . . . . . .  

THE hills of TRANSYLVANIA

Is a beast THAT drives THE population mad 

And has become a world compulsive mania?

With is sharp pointy TEETH . . . . . . 

Sucking blood in THE dark

Everyone lives in fear of 

THE Vampire Aardvark.

U  

Hanging UNDERNEATH UMBRELLAS 

You will find some UGLY fish

Who think that they are bats 

Rather than a battered dish.

They think they are being clever 

Hiding from the multitude of sharks

But hiding in UMBRELLAS 

Means they will be eaten by

Aardvarks.

V

There have been a VERITABLE multitude of beasts

 in the VISION of my VERSE.

But some will think my nonsense poetry

is rather more a curse.

And most will say it is poetry, 

which is full of  . . . . . . . . Impropriety.

Well everyone . . . .  with one exception . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society. 

W

If you live in darkest Wales

You will be used to dragons with scaly scales

That have long and pointed pointy tails

A land where the wind and rain it never fails

Which is why

As hard as you might try

You will never spy

An Aardvark . . . . . . . With your beady eye.

A serious blow to the street cred of the Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society who have taken to spending a lot of time in Pubs singing songs and impersonating eagles when they are a bit drunk and then giggling a lot and pointing at things in their late night Chinese takeaways and saying to passing policemen . . . How do you scary a chinese meal, before whispering in their ears . . . . . bam . . . BOOOOOO and then going HAH AH AH HAH AH AH HAH AH AH HA HAH AH HAH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  . . . . . . . . . . . . . .The Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society are not always popular with the local police at night who are keen to catch burglars rather than hear chinese takeaway jokes or attempting to convince a large man he is not an eagle and should not be on the church roof with a salmon in his claws.