Wednesday, 15 May 2013

The Lone Ranger, Tonto and the Pirate



I saw a trailer for that film The Lone Ranger the other day and it was a bit of a surprise because it did not appear to me to be anything like the original Lone Ranger. For a start off Tonto in the original was a Red Indian and it appears that in the remake Tonto is a pirate so I am expecting  to here “White man speak with forky tongue kemosabe HAR HAR HAR ….Pieces of Eight” . I say this because Tonto looks just like that Robert Newton who played Captain Long John Jack Sparrow in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Blind Pugh is eaten by the creature from the black lagoon. I was told that Tonto even has a pet Vulture that sits on his shoulder and sings “I shot the sheriff but I did not eat the deputy” during a rather heated gun battle with the cowboys with black hats in an attempt to distract them for The Lone Ranger and his horse Silver, so called because as Tonto says “He cost heap much money, not so kemosabe . . . . me think kemosabe well ripped off”.




I really wonder why they had so much agro back in the days of the wild west because it is a known fact that if you wore a white hat you were a goody and if you wore a black hat you were a baddy. Although railroad owners who often wore battered top hats or even bowler hats were in general not very nice (some things never change). And they never had any problems with aliens they did not arrive until about 1950 when loads of them turned up all at once, probably waiting for Gary Cooper and John Wayne to get too old to shot at them. It would be good if there were aliens in The Lone Ranger then Tonto could say “Take me to your leader kemosabe” or as in the original, look at the ground and say things like “An alien passed this way many moons ago, he limp on both left legs and has patch over all five eyes and is called Dennis


Anyway in other news WHAT is going on with the weather, last night we had the rain from hell (that’s a lot of rain) so we had flooding on all the roads, there was snow on the hills and between the hail stones today it was either nice and sunny or bitterly cold. The sooner dad gets the weather machine fixed the better. . . . . . . . . PHEW.

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13 comments:

  1. *cough cough choke* Jeez Rob Z, I laughed so hard at "I shot the Sheriff but I did not eat the deputy," that I choked on the double choc cookie, I stole from the lil man.

    Now there's a film that I would gladly watch, 'Cowboys Vs Aliens. And if dad could fix the weather machine by Friday, when I have to go shopping, that would be great. :)

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    1. Yes I must admit it was a good line but I dont know where it can from in my head, my head is like that. Anyway I was rather shocked to learn this morning of a movie called Cowboys & Aliens what a cheek. Still my idea is more Pirates, Cowboys & Aliens with an amusing sort of Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy sort of script (the Brit version not the US movie one).

      We are working on the weather machine as I speak (type) OK not actually as I type.

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  2. Have you any idea how many different links and fields and pastures and roundabouts I had to go through to get to this blog site? Never mind, I'm here now.

    I see your surreality continues to amaze and even confuse my last two brain cells. That seems a must-see movie. In the remake, they could of used Russell Brand as the pirate. I mean, he looks like an audition reject from the Parrots of the Caribbean, or whatever the heck it was.

    I have to agree with lily. Hi lily, you little flower you :) "I SHOT THE SHERIFF BUT I DID NOT EAT THE DEPUTY” is really quite exceptional. I now have two versions of that song singing to my last two brain cells. Clapton and Marley would have made for an interesting duet.

    See you, dude. Well done and no need to push button number eight! :)

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    1. Hello Good Sir if it is any consolation I general confuse myself rather a lot when I write this blog. Most of the time it makes no sense so continuity is a right old game.

      Luckily real life means it will always have its feet (the blogs feet) firmly fixed on the ground, I say ground I mean firmly fixed in the mud.

      Damn I cant remember what button eight did I will have to return to your own blog now (a cunning trick).

      And Miss Lily is a cool Lady with a cracking blog that I like a great deal.

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    2. Aww Rob, you flatter me. *Flutters eyelashes coyly*

      Haha! Hi right back at ya klahanie. :)

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  3. As always I enjoyed your post, always gives me a smile.

    Yvonne.

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    1. Many thanks it was a little surreal this time, it is all the pressure of writing every day and trying to think of new things and keeping folk interested. It a tough job but someone has to do it.

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  4. Yesterday was an eXtremely busy day and I am just now swinging by to get caught up on my reading, but getting coffee first ...

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    1. Coffee is always important, although having said that my first choice is Tea. But there are many blogs to get through and we all need sustenance to keep our minds sharp and alert.

      I hope all is well Mr ESB I have just returned from commenting on your blog and am drinking tea as I type, well between mouthfuls I am typing.

      And I can type O . . . . . HAH ah hahAH HAH HA HAH HAH HA HAH HHAHAH HAH AH HAH AH HA HAH HAH AH AH.

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    2. U R talented veRy. I just got finished working a cryptogram puzzle that was eXtra difficult because the put Chinese words in it! I should put that on my resume to the NSA. At least I found the Wong answer to the puzzle. (with Wong being the name of the person of the quote) hahahahahaha

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    3. Cryptogram puzzles are more than my brain will cope with Mr ESB; the thought of a chinese cryptogram puzzle is rather scary.

      I must think of a tale-N-Ted (where N is the slightly slang sound of On). Just for a moment I thought that said NASA, but you would need more SPACE on your resume.

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  5. Hello Rob.
    I thought i would share this little gem - I think you will like it as much as I do.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPPw5n-DzQA

    hahahahahahahahahaha- Baron Knights.

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    1. As Tonto would say about a man wearing a silly mask "KEMOSABE he look a bit of a Wally", although Tonto appears to have a dead bird on his head, so enough said.....

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