Thursday 2 August 2012

The Alien Virus, Olympic Gold and the missing trees


I have had a better day today sort of, I woke up to the faces of the dog and Mr Jones staring at me, they say I have had an alien virus caught in the woods. I have a metallic green face and arms (although I did find two tins of car spray paint hidden under my bed later on). And I had grown antennae, but again later I noticed that the aerials from my short wave radios were missing and I found a used tube of super glue hidden with the spray cans. I think this may also explain why I appear to have rubber suction pads at the end of all my fingers.

I was not expecting to find Mr Jones peering at me with the dog but it appears the dog let him in through the window too show him my strange alien disease, although he did charge Mr Jones £150 to see me, and £25 a picture.



I am not sure what day we are up to with the Olympics now I think it is day five, and it appears to all be going to plan with the British team. How did that happen? This is Britain things like that don’t happen in Britain, it is not traditional; maybe someone should shout COME ON TIM. I am a bit out of all this so all I can say from what I know is three men rode round and round very fast indeed.  Some men went down a fake river very fast indeed, a man shot loads of clay things although I believe it took some time.

The bad news was a British woman overtook another British woman too soon and this meant they were eliminated, but a Chinese woman overtook a Chinese woman too soon and got silver. It appears if you are going to do this it is important to do it in the right race. This may explain why I was banned from the last egg and spoon race at school.

Finally I believe a lot of swimmers have been getting wet in the pool. I don’t think the British have been doing too well in the pool because of this (I have to admit I have sort of lost the plot with not being 100% so I may be wrong). But I am sure I heard a British rail team trainer explaining to the press that the reason was, it is the wrong sort of water. 

  

Oooooooo yes since I was last compos mentis two large trees have vanished from our garden, the dog and Mr Jones say ALIENS but mum has added IDIOTS. 


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8 comments:

  1. You're right about the cycling. You have got to go as fast as you can, but not too fast as it might be dangerous.

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    1. And I believe they have no brakes, very full-hardy

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  2. Wow! Is that first photograph reaLLy a photographh of you in your new alien state?!?!? It kind of looks like a house with solar panels, but maybe that is just more virus manifestation. Or in this case a man who turned into a station. (you can teLL I'm serious be cause didn't put a multiple -ha-)

    Okay, I can't hold it in in-ee longer hahahahahahahahahaha ....

    Okay, I am off to play with nitrogen and drink coffee and then play with my vacuum pump, repairing an air conditioner. At least it is a small window unit that I can do most of the work indoors in the cool. Iit has been over 100 F for the hottest point of the day for quite awhile.

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    1. It has been about 75 F in the hottest part of the day here.

      Indeed a picture of the Alien Estate although as I was taking a picture of it at the time I was not in it. Having spent more time in it in the last few days than I would like.

      The tree that was being removed in the pic would have stood almost exactly behind the far end of the ridge of the roof. It had Spruce Aphid and was more poorly than me it seems, there are also some 11,000 VA cables just behind the trees so a few more things need to be snipped out. However The National Grid chainsaw man has to do that as he is the only one allowed to blow himself up.

      I am saving my Ha's for the time I am feeling back in full working order which should be very soon (ish)

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  3. Could be this 'hard water' I hear about when I visit the south. They still haven't explained the concept to me properly or why I'm an arse for asking, 'but isn't that...ice..?

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    1. Yes you may be right I had not thought about the hard water problem, but swimming in hard water seems like a bad move to me. So does diving, so that may also explain the large splat noise as they hit the water.

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  4. I'm forever shouting "come on Tim" when the tennis is on. Amusing me no end. Although Mrs H doesn't seem to think so. Its been that long, I cant even remember who Tim is and why he is always late... Glad your better Rob.

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    1. Thanks Mr H.... Not quite better yet I am playing the sick man card and going for sympathy

      Not sure its working that well back here at home though.

      I used to feel a bit sorry for TIM but then I learnt he made loads of money out of his tennis career anyway so I don't now. Us Bloggers do it for the love of the chase, a dried crust of bread, and a glass of water, which for me is just as well as, I think I have just described my evening meal.

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