Friday, 28 June 2013

Rob Z Tobor's A to Z return (otherwise known as the Z to A) . . . . . Z stands for Zumtonians

Back in April I did that A to Z thing that many folk who blog do, and I did it in my normal jolly way then at the end of doing it and returning to the daily routine of writing daily in my daily diary I did say that I would do a informal no stress return from Z to A. All at my own pace and as and when I was in the mood.  So today I have decided that thanks to Mr Jones the Alien watcher combined with a remarkably quiet day (again); today will be the first day of the return journey . . . . Z, this does not mean tomorrow is Y because this is a slow chilled decline to A based entirely on my head…..

First I must say I did have a cracking meal last night it was brill……… So well done all at Big Bill’s Greasy Fur Ball Café. The best food in the world……….

OK The Rob Z Tobor one man accessional informal Z to A.

As we all know Mr Jones is a avid Alien Watcher stalking the woods at night in the nude come rain or shine; Ah OK it does not shine much in the woods at night, but you get the point. Anyway this morning he was very excited as he has found a gold disk in the woods with a picture of an alien on it and messages. It is all in an alien language (well it would be) but dad has cobbled together a Steam Powered Thermal extracting translation machine  so we are now able to piece together what the aliens are saying. Apparently speed is now of the essence as Mr Jones and the man on the News at Radio Four on the BBC are saying that there appear to be a large number of spacecraft landing in Britain mainly in the Home Counties (that’s were all the yuppies live by the way if you are not from Britain)

So this is the message on the gold disk

ZZaf Zafafho Zjafhojh….Zxx Z Zumtonians

ZSkh zprpu  zpiup zuiuiur zJJAo zzzafsiafisa zHH zOHEihe  zh zzzhjkdhojahah zahdjhdadhz zjh EAT zakjakfjlf zlkafjajf zljafkafl zgotoi zpfkajkjkjj zkj Pork Piez zsffjslkjflkfsdfk zk zzzzzlksfjlseisdi zjlsfk zjslkj zkjslfjslk zjlskjflkjfewiu zjksjlk zjk zlskfjlks zkjfskjfi zp ziph zpuspufu zj zkj z  zkkj zkj jellied Brains z zklsflkjslkjl zlkjkllksfiofuiu Roast legs YUM zapfsjfkj Zumtonian zkjkljlksjflflksjl zkjlkjiuiuiu z zkjslkflskfjlk zjlkjfljsl zipwp9ew9zrwiuzskjflkj  zksjflk zjkjslkj zk Starters zfjfkjfslkj zru zkjfslf kjlskj zlkjflskj zpsfjk zlksjlksfjlk zlkjsuiur zlksjfl kjlkjsflkj zlkjflkjsflkjiutiuil zksflkfsjl zkslfsksirsd zlk zlzksflhsiosdirfh zljkshfljhfs zosursdosh zjhhj zsjh zjhfjh  zakjhj zhdka zk Monkeys zlskjl zkJI zEIAOI zOAEl  zljdhjhdjh zljdhj zhjhdjhuu zuhahauhfuhuh zhafuhfauh Zumtonia zouhaouhfuhfo zozo zo oz zozo ozo ozo zo zo zo zo ozo ozoo ozo ozo zo ozozozo

ZHSJ zHOJHJH  zjhkjhafkjhajhfkjh ziufhuhf zhkjfhkjhfkj zhakjfhkjfahj zh Pointy Teeth zdajfkjalkj zjafllk zjaflkjafljfalkjlkj zk Sweet Chilli Sauce  zpajd zjafjajfiajijaf zjaofijaojfoj zojafojfaoo zajfojoafjjo    ZO OZOZO OZOo zoOZO OZOZOOZO ZO OZO zo oz oo zozozo zo zo oz ozo zo zo oz oozoz ozo zo oz ozozozo ozo ZAH  ZDAMN  Zasdhasdlha  Zaskdjalkd Z aldhaldhd. ZOZ OZOZO ozo zo zo ozo zo o z

ZZZZ Za . . . . .  Z Z Ztop

And after hours of hard work here is what they say after all they will be knocking on folks doors shortly or even as I type……

Dear people of Earth or as we like to call you, Dinner….. We are the Zumtonians.

Hello People of planet earth I guess you are a little surprised by our visit to you planet after all it has been a very long time since we were last here, back then several million years ago your ancestors were all covered in hair and quite frankly ruined what should have been excellent fresh Pork pies, but I must say the jellied Brains were lovely. We must have made an impact back then because you talk of Zombies eating Brains to this day, but get it right we are Zumtonians. Even the Roast leg was a little ruined because the Pork scratching was too hairy.  Anyway we are back and it’s a long journey and so as they say in the Movies . . . . . TAKE ME TO MY STARTER  (SORRY I MEAN YOUR LEADER), its any easy error I’m dead hungry I have hardly had a bite since leaving Zumtonia, I could eat a Norse HAH HAHAHHAHAHH HAH HAH HA Hahh ah hahha hah ah hah ah hah ahh aha h ah hhah aha ha Ha HA

Don’t let the pointy teeth put you off we are very nice really and have brought you gifts, like these large jars a Chilli Sauce which we though you would love to roll about in as a sort of marinade Oooo…. no sorry I mean a skin tonic product HAH HAHAHHAH Hahh ah ha hah hahhahahah hahhah ha ha ha. Right I think I’ll go and eat some commuters in a pie AH DAMN no I mean I will go and meet some commuters as they pass by, I love a nice Whine with my dinner HAH HAHAHH HAHHAH HAHHAH HAHAHH HAHH HAhha hah ah hah ah hah ah aha h ah ahahh aha ha hah ah ha hahh Ha ha ha ha.

Your’s Mr Z Z Ztop    

Well best not answer the door for a bit then I guess. . . . . . . PHEW 

This is called a BLOG-FEAST HAH HAHHAh hahah ah hahhaha ha hah ahha hah ahahhah aa 


  1. Okay, now I'm scared. They can't eat me, I'm a vegetarian! If there's any Zumtonians reading this, take the lil man. He's young and plump and not stringy like me. OH GOD! I DON'T WANNA DIIIIIEEEEEE!

    Ahem...I'll just leave now, shall I? :)

    1. That last request is a hard one Miss Lily but dad says he has this idea where he removes your brain and puts in the body of a man made out of bits he has found in grave yards and the like, he says it may involve a bolt having to hold your head on as no one wants their head to fall off, and you might have to stagger about a lot crushing small things and eating loads of chocolate.

    2. The last two I do already, so he wouldn't have to do much seeing as I'm halfway there. :)

  2. So, question: Is it Zubtonian or Zumtonian? I noticed the name with the B in your blog title and I kept reading your blog post looking for them, and finally after reading it seventeen times I thought, you know, maybe they evolved into Zumtonians from Zubbies and so I read your entire blog post thirteen more times to see if that might be the case and I thought, you know, that might be the case. So I read it five more times making that assumption. But then a sudden case of anxiety caused me to think, maybe I should say both words instead of just one to be sure, so I read it one more time. Oh, I forgot to mention that I was in the meat market reading and thinking this out loud, and soon there were people asking then veRy demandingly asking and begging me to stop then the police came and I stopped after they used the tear gas. Not that it really affected me much as I had remembered to bring my gas mask, but all the other people who were mesmerized by your tale. So I stopped for the sake of the children. And I know what you are thinking, "What are children doing with Japanese rice beverages?"

    1. Sorry about the Zubtonians they do get rather jealous of their better known cousins. I am sorry you had to read it so many times Mr ESB but you are my eyes on matters such as this, I am you see a rubbish typist and writing every day with limited time means loads of errors....

      I did not mean to mess up the workings of the market it was never my plan however I do have one very important question . . . .

      "What are children doing with Japanese rice beverages?"

      Oooo yes I plan to go and change Zubtonian to Zumtonian right now because you need to see what happens when you Google Zumtonians

    2. I am off immediately to Goggle Zumtonians, and by goggle I mean provide them protective eyewear just in case the at-mouse-fear of the earth is incompatible with their ocular subsysttems .... Okay, I googled them as weLL. It aPPears that you R the sole interplanetary eXpert on Zumtonians, and therefore you wiLL need to be our ambassador. If a beautiful bass could talk, it would say, I am a bass, I am adorable, I should be an ambassadore. Of course it could say other things as weLL, like ordering lunch in a restaurant. WeLL, an alarm is reminding me to go do something, so I must venture out into the heat ....

  3. Ahh, now I'm hungry. Do you think they'll spare some?

    1. They are not really the sharing caring type Miss Laura . . . .

  4. Zippy zoo zed. A blog feast, at the very least.

    Ha ha ha and za....

    1. "za"? ... yes, veRy za, I didn't even notice until you mentioned it.