After the whirl and whizz of
young children creating art faster than a speeding bullet yesterday, or is it a
speeding express train, I am not sure but I think it is one of them that
Spiderman can go faster than. Quite frankly in artist’s terms either is
somewhat stressful when you have the teaching ability of a small unknown furry
creature that has never taught anyone anything before. So I have created a new Micro God to help us
artists on the fringe of artistry, us working bodger Artists who battle on
regardless of the insurmountable obstacles that folk throw at us like blunt pencils
or cheap rubbish ball point pens that sulk or even the slightly more serious
problem, a total lack of talent. However I have never let such things get in
the way so far, they are thrown aside with a Ha HA HA and a nonchalant wave of
the hand like a small thing of no consequence. However Duluximus the Micro God of Artists
(and yours for a small fee of £3.75 plus p&p, no refunds allowed . . .
batteries not included) is just the thing to sort all this out and I am
expecting a new slower art to take hold any time now.
I am sure I was
planning to tell you all something before I got totally distracted but it may
be too late so I will tell you that interestingly earlier today I dug forty
small holes in the ground looking for a leak. Later on though it turned out I
had been tricked because after digging the forty holes I was given forty leeks and told to hide
them in the forty holes, presumably to stop them getting eaten by Zombies . . .
. . . Do Zombies eat vegetables?
Zombies eat brains. So if someone is in a comatose state they are said to be in a vegetative state, so the answer to your question is yes.
ReplyDeleteSad news. Jesus is no more. WeLL, he isn't here any way. He is now working in a Japanese restaurant 60 miles away. So at least it gives me a reason to go to AmariLLo and eat Japanese steakhouse style.
Does it mean that Jesus has to speak Japanese. I also am assuming he has moved as sixty miles is quite a long commute if you are working on a late shift.
DeleteI didn't get an answer on whether he moved. But he was s'pposedly moving last year to a farther piece of Texas and that only lasted for a few weeks and -poof- he was back. So I can be hopedful. That word mean something slightly different from hopeful but I am not sure yet what the difference isn't. While doing some eXtremely important paperwork I tried caLLing different Japanese restaurants in AMA and only got through to a human once and they didn't know of a recently acquired Jesus there in their 日本のステーキハウス. Oh, sorry, that just slipped out, that was s'pposed to "Japanese Steakhouse". So I am at least semi-sad. To answer your first question, Yes, Jesus must speak Japanese. No, that isn't true, I have absolutely no idea if he has to learn any. I have spent years trying to learn some Japanese and I am veRy poor yet probably better than 98% of non-Japanese Americans just by brute force of trying a ridiculously huge amount of time to the sport of learning Japanese.
DeleteI have noticed a trend of late on your blog. You seem to be digging a lot of holes.
ReplyDeleteIf your not careful you will run out of garden and just be left with one big nothing... should keep the weeds away but if you dig too far you might end up with a load of Chinese zombies from the other side of the world.
Be careful Rob. Nothing good ever came from hard work and effort.
Holes are good and if that nice Steven Hawking (sorry Steven Spielberg) makes the block buster movie then the set will be dead cheap. If he does not make the block buster movie (the ********) and I have to do it myself (if I get the time that is) then it will be set entirely in holes which should make it much easier. After all it will avoid all those wide angle shots and a cast of thousands.
DeleteChinese Zombies and slow motion Kung Fu I like it Mr H I will add that to the script. I agree about the hard work I will avoid it from now on and tell everyone that I have been advised by a man of knowledge to rest.
I think zombies are carnivores, no vegetables for them. Unless they're mixed with brains, I guess.
ReplyDeleteGenerally I would totally agree but just of late some of these Zombies and Vampires are getting a bit Wimpy, their grand parents will be turning in their graves (before nipping out for a bite to eat. . . . . . . HAH HAHAHHAH HAHH HAH HA HAH HAH AH AH HAH AH HA HAH HA HAHAHHAH HAh ah ahhah a
DeleteI don't think Spiderman can move particularly fast, you must be thinking of Superman. sorry to split hairs but I felt I ought to say.
ReplyDeleteOr split hairy spiders. Are you sure he cant move fast, spiders shift fairly quickly so scaled up he should be dead fast.
DeleteThey say that a flea scaled up to the size of a man could jump over the Eiffel Tower. So, it goes to figure that a spider scaled up to the size of a man would just spend all day tripping up over his own legs.
DeleteDuluximus looks great. You could expand your lore and say that he married the paint goddess Emulsia and had two sons; Crownicus and Matt. Just don't let them mix too much or else they'll turn brown.
ReplyDeleteI would like to say that is pure genius Mr Addman I am well impressed. Not bad at all for a man who eats a certain biscuit . . .
DeleteIt just goes to show that even across the great gulfs of war on the fundamentals of life and biscuits men can rise about these conflicts and create ideas of greatness.
The world can learn much from our small band of blogs as we weave our way through the darkness of cyberspace.
From small biscuits can come world peace. One small bite for man as someone once said.