Sunday 6 May 2012

The Aliens and the lumberjack


I have been outside today in the sun being a lumberjack. The first odd thing about this is the obvious one, there is the word sun included in that sentence. Yes its bank holiday Sunday and sunny, very odd particularly as all the weather men on the wireless told us it was due to rain loads and the sun is not due until possibly August. The second odd thing about this is as mum points out is I am a child and I am outside in the sun doing things, when I should be attached to a games consol killing aliens like normal children.

As it happens I don’t have any games consoles and if I want to kill aliens I’m sure there are plenty in the woods. Mr Jones says there are loads of aliens in the woods and he has been abducted several times and prodded with probes, mum says Mr Jones is an IDIOT which is odd because why would aliens abduct an idiot rather than a genius. But then maybe they don’t know he is an idiot and think he is a genius. I have suggested that to mum but she says that if the Aliens think Mr Jones is a genius then they are IDIOTS. Still they say there is a fine line between being a genius and being an idiot, so me and the dog are planning to investigate the woods tomorrow for fine lines. Assuming it is another hot day as the weather men on the wireless still insist it will rain all day.


I have learnt something very interesting today about lumberjacks. I have never been a lumberjack before (OK I might have, I cant remember we are talking nearly 300,000 words now). But it does not mean to lumber, as in chop up Jack with an axe and a chain saw…………AH.

Me and the dog luckily had plenty of super glue, and I am good at building cardboard robots out of an assortment of bits. I’m sure it didn’t help that the dog spent a while chewing his arm before mum shouted at us. Jack has run off (Limped) home now and seems fine (ish) well sort of. Although Jack was like those IKEA flat pack kits you get, there is always something left over that you don’t know where it goes. The dog says he will have it for his evening meal with a glass of wine and maybe some lamb. 
  
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8 comments:

  1. Maybe where the aliens are from, idiots are actually smart, and geniuses are stupid. It's been sunny here today too, I don't think it will last very long, I'm sure it'll be raining again tomorrow!

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    1. Well if that is true I am off to be abducted. My brain is well scrambled these days much like my posts.

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  2. I'm actually quite jealous of Mr Jones getting probed several times by aliens...

    Ah, it's now 6:33pm and I'm beginning to see signs of a rain cloud. There's nothing quite like the Bank Holidays in England.

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    1. No Miss Lily you would not they were using horrible large vibrating things and.............

      OOOOooowwwwWWWW Mum has just hit me with the Armadillo toaster now.

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  3. I chopped down a tree in my back yard approximately 3 1/2 years ago. I am letting it dry. I am hoping to get at least one piece of lumber from it of a dimension of 1in x 1in x 36in. I think I wiLL start building a sailboat with it.

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    1. Well Mr ESB to the best of my knowledge sailboats are built in boat yards so that 36in length of wood seems like a good place to start.

      Did you know that 36in in the USA is slightly different in length to 36in in the UK. A mile in the USA is slightly shorter so if you are ever caught speeding just tell them you where driving in British MPH and they will let you off (maybe).

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  4. Since I couldn't comment on your Reflections post, I came by here to thank you for your comments on my posts, and to tell you I enjoyed your posts each time I stopped by.

    Damyanti
    #atozchallenge co-host 2012

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