Saturday, 26 April 2014

The Wheels of Poetry continue to turn.

The Greatest A to Z  
Aardvark based Nonsense Poetry in the World 

It can sing the Star Spangled Banner and impersonate the late Thora Hird
And if feeling PECKISH or can't think of the right word
It PRETENDS it’s the aardvark from Shakespeare’s play

Richard the Third.

If you stand  . . . . . 
in a QUEUE . . . . . . . 
with a Gnu . . . . . . .
People will QUIETLY whisper . . . . . . .  
in a QUADRANGLE . . .  or two  . . 
Or QUIVER with fear and shout loudly. 
AuuuuuugggghhhhHH Shoo
Or throw bits of Aardvark . . . . . .  At the Smiling Gnu

And maybe at you.

Past a ROTUND RABBIT and a small bald RETIRED man
And as he passed a ROASTER that made a strange sound just like a bark.
He lost his concentration and tripped over an Aardvark. 

 . . . . . SIDEWALK

In the dark where man and beast get eaten by a grumpy old  
 . . . . .  Night Hawk

And little dogs run about and annoy pedestrians with their
 . . . . Barks

And every one will run and hide with the arrival of . . . . . . . . .

(Huge indomitable and fearsome man eating) 

 . . . . Aardvarks.

In the TINY TOWNS in  . . . . . .  
Is a beast THAT drives THE population mad 
And has become a world compulsive mania?
With is sharp pointy TEETH . . . . . . 
Sucking blood in THE dark
Everyone lives in fear of 
THE Vampire Aardvark.

You will find some UGLY fish

Who think that they are bats 
Rather than a battered dish.

They think they are being clever 
Hiding from the multitude of sharks

But hiding in UMBRELLAS 
Means they will be eaten by

There have been a VERITABLE multitude of beasts
 in the VISION of my VERSE.

But some will think my nonsense poetry
is rather more a curse.
And most will say it is poetry, 
which is full of  . . . . . . . . Impropriety.

Well everyone . . . .  with one exception . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society

If you live in darkest Wales
You will be used to dragons with scaly scales
That have long and pointed pointy tails
A land where the wind and rain it never fails

Which is why
As hard as you might try
You will never spy

An Aardvark . . . . . . . With your beady eye.

A serious blow to the street cred of the Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society who have taken to spending a lot of time in Pubs singing songs and impersonating eagles when they are a bit drunk and then giggling a lot and pointing at things in their late night Chinese takeaways and saying to passing policemen . . . How do you scary a chinese meal, before whispering in their ears . . . . . bam . . . BOOOOOO and then going HAH AH AH HAH AH AH HAH AH AH HA HAH AH HAH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  . . . . . . . . . . . . . .The Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society are not always popular with the local police at night who are keen to catch burglars rather than hear chinese takeaway jokes or attempting to convince a large man he is not an eagle and should not be on the church roof with a salmon in his claws.  


  1. That's not how my Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society meetings go. We (I) sit around and watch TV and have a beer and then go to bed.

    1. That sounds very good and respectable enhancing the reputation of the Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society. . . . Well Done

  2. I think if it was a can of salmon and he was holding on reaLLy tight, it would be okay. Even tuna, tuna would be okay. There, I just demon strated the usefulness of commas and misplaced spaces inside wo rds.

    1. I need all the hell, P I can get with commas and misplaced spaces. . . . But I like to think of my errors in my blog as a style statement, and that I am pushing the boundaries of the written word. As it happens you are much better at this than me Mr ESB. . . . I dont mean you get more commas and misplaced spaces by accident than me, but you have a cunning way with them. , , ,?;,.

    2. Your blog is such a delightful part of my day, I always look forward to our transcontinental chats and giggles, comments, pictures and poetry.

    3. Your W mode of transportation inspired this joke: What do you call a German electric car?

      A: a volts wagen

      Hahahahaha -ohm- hahahahahaha